24/05/2023
This Rebelstar Boy was on 🔥🔥🔥 at PCA 2023.
I rarely post on the kennel page, because well ... It’s very emotional for me to write about Annette and her dogs. My heart literally hurts thinking about her. What I would give to share these experiences with her, in-person, instead writing to honor her legacy. It takes such an emotional toll on me to find the words that I tend to avoid. The waves of grief wash up over my head crashing down to remind me that I can’t pick up the phone to call or text her. The waves have come massive and hard core every single time I’ve sat down to start writing this out. Ignore any grammar errors - if I don’t do it now, I’ll avoid forever. So, here it goes:
For those that don’t know: Mine and Annette’s friendship spanned 20 years. We met during my sophomore year of college and I instantly bonded with her over a love of poodles. She educated me in all things poodle and is how I learned the life lesson that you either spend the money on the front of end of a well-bred dog or you are going to spend on the back end with a cheaper, front end BYB dog.
My first Rebelstar dog, Vegas, came on a payment plan while I was law school and I was devastated to lose Vegas at 14.5 the year following Annette gaining her own Angel wings.
When Annette had me take Thor, it was supposed to be temporary but I realized later that she knew exactly what she was doing … all the while I was screaming, “I’m not breeding dogs. I’m not being a guardian home. I’m ‘just’ keeping Thor for you until you get better and come home. This is not goodbye.” She replied, “don’t you ever neuter that dog. You promise me. I’m going to keep fighting, but you promise me.” She knew I would never break my word or promise to her.
She also knew I couldn’t handle facing the reality of her diagnosis and she fought that ugly C word fiercely and courageously to the very end. I wouldn’t trade a single one of our nights at hospice or any of our long conversations for all the money in the world, but I do have so many questions I wish I had known to ask her. She gave me a list of trusted friends that would later mentor, direct and guide me. Their friendship and support have been invaluable and I am eternally grateful to them. They are all part of my village. They are the “we ride at dawn” kind of friends and none of this would have happened, but for their support.
I appreciate now that Annette knew I was going to need another Rebelstar dog more than anything in this world. She knew it long before I did. She always said, “when you lose a dog you HAVE to get another one after you grieve. It’s a disservice to your best friend to not reopen your heart.” If you’ve never read the book, The Art of Racing In the Rain - read it. Then, read it, again.
When you suffer the loss of your dog or best friend, you do it, again, because that dog makes you a better person. And, nothing compares to the unconditional, loyal, nonjudgmental love of a dog. Owning a dog or having a dog own you just makes the world a better place. It’s worth the pain.
The truth is that when my Vegas died — I panicked. I could not imagine my life without an Annette Shepard dog and that is how this special boy’s litter came into existence. It was now or never kind of thing. Dogs age and then the opportunity is just gone. Well, that and a few instances of fate - the main one being Adele coming into our lives right after Vegas gained her Angel wings.
In any event, my path was clear: The only way to get another Rebelstar dog was to follow Annette’s instructions, breed her dogs and use the village she gave me. Just do it. Stop researching, stop analyzing the reasons not do it and just do it. This is how and why I ended up keeping all my promises to Annette, and doing all the things I said I would never do. I felt a sense of responsibility to keep her line alive. Full disclosure - there was definitely a level of selfishness of me wanting to never be without a Rebelstar dog too. My heartbroken, panicked fear of never having another Rebelstar dog pushed this path into existence, and boy am I grateful now that I did it.
Guess the last laugh is on me, because Annette Shepard got her way. I did breed her dogs and I am way more than a guardian home. I pray that she smiles down every day seeing her line continue and cheering us on from above. Sometimes I can almost even hear her screaming at me to, “put on your big girl panties and get out there in the ring with the damn dog, Marsha,” - especially when I feel super intimidated and insecure at a show like PCA and am contemplating running out of the building like it’s on fire. I can hear her voice and that of my village.
It literally took a global pandemic to push me into training and showing dogs. It’s easy for me to argue in the courtroom, but put me in a dog show … well, the adrenaline spikes, the nerves go haywire, insecurity and anxiety set in. Think: full on hand shaking + sweating and “sticky tongue” moments, as a junior handler at our training facility calls it.
Right up until the Judge says, “Are you ready?”
Then, one look in this beautiful Rebelstar boy’s eyes - that deep, reach-out-and-touch-your-soul kind of eye connection - and all the background noise, nerves and anxiety are gone. It’s just me and him. A team. And, what a team we made at our second PCA and 8th dog show ever!
That said, Annette deserves ALL the credit for THIS boy’s success! I cannot hold off any longer telling those of you following this page who loved her and her dogs what is going on with her line. We did it!!!🎉🎊🥇+🥈🥂🍾
Last year, I made a long post on my personal page after our first PCA, but this year - it needs to go on the kennel page. Plus, we moved up in classes! We aren’t in the baby beginner A classes anymore. We are official B dogs!!!
Banks received a PERFECT Rally score and first place win at PCA. Plus, he took second place in Formal Obedience. I cannot believe we placed in both sports!!!
Let me tell you - the competition was fierce! When you compete at your National breed specialty, you better bring your “A” game.
I almost fell out when the Judges called our numbers. Not because of Banks, he’s been ready to go even further than where we are now, but because of me! I had to overcome my own insecurities and get out there with him. Take the chance. Take the risks. And unless you have shown dogs, don’t think for one second it is easy. I don’t care if it’s the performance or conformation ring - there is a skill to it and it takes dedication + thick skin to learn how to navigate the ring AND your dog in many different environments with all kinds of distractions in front of a single person “judging” your performance.
There are things you can work on, learn and prepare for in training, but there is a whole other level that you can only learn by doing it. Living it. Experiencing it. Getting egg on your face. Learning those life lessons. Those handlers or teams that make it look easy are the ones who you should strive to mimic. It is NOT easy. None of it is easy. It is hard. And, it is super competitive.
It is a dream to even qualify much less place at a dog show like PCA. I never even attended a dog show much less participated in one until last year. To say, I was humbled and honored to receive any recognition is an understatement. Pure shock at placements in two different sports at PCA - Poodle Club of America!!!
We came off the show circuit last year to work on … umm, MY fundamentals … and did not go back out to show until February, 2023. We only started back competing in Rally the month before PCA and have only done one Formal Obedience show, which was in February at the Tallahassee, FL cluster. Again, not because of the dog - but, because of me!!!
I’ve almost gotten a handler 50x so Banks can go further, faster … but for my village. I’ve felt guilty for holding him back and going at a slower pace. But for, my village. Our trainer and teammates won’t let me back out and continue to push me to show Banks myself.
Training and handling are only part of the equation. Performance flows from proper structure and ALL credit for Bank’s structure/temperament/health, all things poodle, goes to Annette Shepard.
A lot of people asked me at PCA who bred my dog. Annette Shepard bred my dog. I may have helped birth and raise his litter, but his breeder is Annette Shepard. She knew exactly what she was doing and the vision she saw mixing that particular pair (Thor x Adele) was years in the making - just WOW. SHE did the hard work. I simply kept those puppies alive once on Earth. But let there be no doubt, I believe she held them before they got to me. They are all so super special.
One can just spot Rebelstar dog from a mile away. Plus, there is just something “special” about a Rebelstar dog. I am not sure the exact word to use to describe how special a Rebelstar dog is - if you know, you just know the difference.
Last thing, please cheer us on as we prepare to head to Wilmington, OH for AKC Rally Nationals next month. This girl will take all the prayers she can get to keep nerves at bay. A dog show with 839 dogs competing is A LOT and admittedly intimidating. However, we are pressing forward out of pure grit and determination to honor Annette’s legacy on the performance side by showing one of her dogs - win or lose, we are going to get the T-shirt, lol. Thankfully, Annette proved the conformation side of her line years ago because that side is even more super intimidating albeit a little mesmerizing if you have never seen it in action.
If you follow this page, you love poodles. Take some advice I wish I had done years ago: Go to a dog show, at least, once in your life. Give props to those out there taking the chance. Proving not only their lines, but their dog. Their baby. Preserving and proving our beloved breed. Taking the risks. Lots of money, blood, sweat and tears go into showing dogs whether performance or conformation. At the end of the day, it’s all done for the love and preservation of our breed: the poodle. Besides, why doodle when you can poodle?
I remain very humbled, honored and excited for the opportunity show off this Rebelstar boy, Banks.
❤️🐩❤️ Marsha
PS: Stay tuned for a super, special announcement 😉
