Sally Jo, LMSW Pet Loss Support

09/02/2024

Our Pet Loss Support Group meets on the first Wednesday of each month at 6:00pm. Stack Veterinary Hospital

24/01/2024

Disenfranchised grief is when your grieving doesn't fit in with larger society's attitude about dealing with death and loss. The lack of support you get during your grieving process can prolong emotional pain.

Types of disenfranchised grief:
Death by drug overdose
Death by su***de
Pet Death
Miscarriage
Infertility
Loss of a home
Divorce
Death of a Grandparent

If you have any questions or concerns about disenfranchised grief please reach out to Sally at [email protected]
Stack Veterinary Hospital

23/01/2024

Please let Sally know if you would like to attend the next Pet Loss Support Group. Stack Veterinary Hospital

17/01/2024

This is article is full of great information for monitoring changes in our aging pets that could be indicative of pain. Stack Veterinary Hospital

As pets age, they are more susceptible to various health conditions that can cause them pain. Dental disease, osteoarthritis, and cancer are some of the common ailments that can affect senior pets. Recognizing the signs of pain in your senior pet is crucial to maintaining their quality of life. To learn more about the symptoms that your old furry friend may exhibit when in pain, check out our latest blog. Click here to read this post: https://hubs.ly/Q02gvsSY0

16/01/2024

Pet Loss Support Group at Stack Veterinary Hospital

12/01/2024

Virtual and in person appointments with Sally are available at Stack Veterinary Hospital

09/01/2024

I am so grateful for the wonderful people I have had the privilege of supporting over the years. Stack Veterinary Hospital

08/01/2024

If you are interested in joining us for this month's Pet Loss Support Group please let Sally know [email protected]

Stack Veterinary Hospital

06/09/2023

22/08/2023

14/02/2023

Pet loss can be a lonely experience. Not everyone "gets it," and it can be hard to find people facing similar grief.
I have asked some of the pet parents I have connected with in the past to share their experiences with us:

I love this and I think it's so important to share this experience with other pet owners, because it can feel very isolating to be experiencing grief from pet loss. I've attached a photo of my childhood dog, Maya, and I'll answer your questions below!
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I lost my childhood pup, Maya, when I was in high school - she was an incredibly patient, loving, and relaxed dog that was more than a pet, she was a member of our family. She taught me what it was to love unconditionally, and even though it's been 11 years I still think about her. I was in my early teens when I lost her, and felt very alone when she passed; I was racked with guilt and grieved her before we even said goodbye, despite knowing it was the right decision. After Maya passed, my family and I put together a memorial for her with a favorite photograph and one of her favorite chew toys. At first, I couldn't look at it; eventually, it felt like I could steal moments to visit with her. As an adult now, I still miss Maya but I've found a way to be grateful for the lessons she taught me . She taught me about the responsibilities, joys, and sorrows of pet ownership, but mostly I remember that unconditional love. This is one of the last photos I have of her, and although I can now see how tired she was - I'll always be grateful she decided to stay with us and we got to spoil her for that final holiday season.

13/02/2023

When did you lose your pet?
I lost Riley on 4/3/2017; Dorian Gray on 2/20/18; Norman on 10/8/2018 and Abram on 1/11/2020.

Did you feel alone in your struggle with grief? If so, how?

Absolutely, because most people have never experienced a loss this great. Some people aren’t as much of a pet lover as some others so they don’t understand as much as they thought they did or wanted to. When a pet is your entire life and your best friend and your family because maybe you didn’t have either of those growing up then the loss is much more significant. Even those that lost a pet, but those pets were seniors and had a good life I don’t feel even resonate with the amount of grief it is to lose a young pet, let alone 3 pets that were still just babies when they died. Without given closure, You blame yourself for everything. You replay every single moment in your head trying to think of anything that could have happened, or something you could have possible done wrong. You would talk to your friends about it every time just to help you grieve and help you remember and over time they would grow tired of you talking about them. Only those people who have experienced a loss this great could understand.

Did you find anything that helped with your grief?

The only thing that has helped me was my pet loss group sessions with Sally at Stack. Even though no one had experienced the amount of loss I had been through, they all had experienced loss and the gut wrenching pain that comes with it. It may not have helped with the loss itself but it helped you talk through what happened and to get it off your chest instead of holding it in and making it hard to breathe. They would give their condolences and their opinions and their stories. Even in the beginning if you didn’t want to talk you got to listen to other peoples stories and how they feel and what they were going through and you could cry and everyone was there for each other and it made you feel you could make it another day, one day at a time.

How are you doing today?

I still struggle with it and some days are worse than others, like their birthdays or their anniversaries and I still look forward to the days I can make the pet loss group because even though it’s been a little while now it still takes a weight off of your shoulders every time. It’s nice to talk to others, usually strangers, when they’ve gone through similar losses. It creates a bond.

10/02/2023

Pet loss can be a lonely experience. Not everyone "gets it," and it can be hard to find people facing similar grief.
I have asked some of the pet parents I have connected with in the past to share their experiences with us:

When did you lose your pet?
Reptar - February 14th, 2020 (7 yrs old)
Mufassa - April 4th, 2022 (10 yrs old)

Did you feel alone in your struggle with grief? If so, how?
With Reptar, yes. One of the coping mechanisms I have developed in times of trauma is to just shut down outwardly. I throw up 10ft high brick walls and try to process/handle my emotions all on my own. Regardless of other peoples attempts to assist me, I keep them shut out since I have adapted to handle any issues I have on my own. So with Reptar, I 100% felt alone until about 8 months after when I finally started letting people comfort and help me. Still, I felt as though I was living my experience alone, because no one can live the pain for me.
With Mufassa, I had just begun to heal from Reptar. But the difference was I was already familiar with grief. I leaned heavily on my husband, therapist and support people RIGHT away, so I wouldn't have a chance to feel alone and throw up walls. Also, those people knew to show up right away because they knew how his death would impact me. That was the first time in my life I have not truly felt alone in the face of trauma. But still, I felt like I had just started treading water with my head above the waves in a storm....and then someone pushed my head under to suffocate me.

Did you find anything that helped with your grief? ***I answered this one a couple of different ways.***
1.) This is a hard one to answer, because the most honest answer for me is TIME. I wish I had additional advice or words of comfort. But for me, I continuously allow myself to feel HOWEVER I am feeling (mainly sad, angry, distant) and make sure I acknowledge and express those emotions instead of ignoring them. And especially make sure I do not shame myself for however I am feeling. Therapy has aided me greatly. My therapist has never once shamed me or belittled my feelings about the loss of my pets and is an outlet for me to just share my feelings and help guide my healing. I also count the Pet Loss Support group as a "Group Therapy", because we get to talk about our pets and share in the pain we all felt so alone in feeling. But the only thing that has truly ever made me feel better, has been time. The emotions are a little "less" powerful and a little "less" painful. I can acknowledge my memories with a few less tears and a little more joy. Everything else is more like a bandaid for a knife wound.

2.) Talking. Do not silence yourself and do not silence your emotions. Whatever you are feeling is valid, regardless of what someone else might tell you. I talked to my support group, my therapist, my husband, my friends, my other cats (no they did not answer) and most importantly I continued to talk to Reptar and Mufassa. Believing that their spirits are still with me has been a big comfort. Talking both acknowledges my pain and keeps their memories alive.
NOT shaming. Not shaming yourself for how you're feeling. Thinking you should "feel better" after all this time? No shame. Everyones stories is different. I have to remind myself of this daily. Talking with people who have had similar experiences and struggles has been INCREADIBLY helpful. It validates that I am not alone in being 3+ years since Reptar has died and still grieving. It helps keep the shame at bay.
I've also journaled my memories of them so they will not fade over time. Whenever I want to visit them, they are right there. Where I can access them without the anxiety of worrying if I'll forget details.
I have Reptars ashes in a necklace I bought off of etsy and wear it everywhere. That way he still goes wherever I do since he was my shadow. And I have tattoos for both of them, on my arms where I can see them daily. Mufassas is a portrait so that he "is always taking a nap and cuddling with me". Which was his favorite place to be. These memorializations help me keep them with me daily and represent a physical impact they had on my life.

How are you doing today?
I've changed. I'm okay, but I am changed. My cats were/are a huge part of my healing journey from past trauma. So losing them was like losing a part of my healing. I didn't realize how much they were a part of my identity and stability until I started losing them (talk about opening a can of worms!). I'm fearful for the 2 I have left of my original 4 Gingers. I had to leave the veterinary field due to the exposure to animal illness and the anxiety it induced in me. I almost feel like my happy bubble of me and my 4 cats was burst with Reptars traumatic death. Regardless, I am alive and I am capable. My grief will never leave me, but I am learning to adapt. Afterall, I am only this impacted because I got to share and experience incredible bonds with both Reptar and Mufassa. Those bonds I wouldn't trade for anything.

09/02/2023

Pet loss can be a lonely experience. Not everyone "gets it," and it can be hard to find people facing similar grief.
I have asked some of the pet parents I have connected with in the past to share their experiences with us:

“I lost 2 of my pets 1 week apart in November 2021. Rudy (a mini dachshund and Jessi Rae a mixed terrier. Jessi was 18 and Rudy just a week shy of turning 16. Jessi was sick with severe dementia and ready for heaven. Rudy on the other hand was healthy but suddenly had a serious injury to his back and had to go one week before Jessi.

They both were my whole life. Every day we did something fun. They loved me so much and I did them. I can’t tell you the pain that was so severe in my heart. I did feel alone. After a while no one wanted to hear my pain. Even though I kept it inside most of the time. I went to grief counseling which helped. Losing 2 at the same time was unheard of and twice as much pain in my heart. So losing them brought me closer to God and I prayed all of the time and still do. This helped with the grieving process.

Today I’m able to talk about them without crying most of the time. I think of them often still and smile but sometimes I cry from missing them, even almost 2 years later.

So today even though they are not with me physically I know they are with me spiritually and I’m able to function each day but like I said I think of them often and have their pictures posted in my car to see every day and pictures of them around my house. They will never be forgotten.”

08/02/2023

Pet loss can be a lonely experience. Not everyone "gets it," and it can be hard to find people facing similar grief.

I have asked some of the pet parents I have connected with in the past to share their experiences with us:

When did you lose your pet?

Ruby passed 10/4/20
Marley passed 4/6/21
Goosey passed 9/24/21

Did you feel alone in your struggle with grief? If so, how?

Sometimes. I don’t think people realize how painful losing a pet can be or they dismiss it.

Did you find anything that helped with your grief?

Yes I almost immediately started counseling after my third dog passed and several months later found (Stack Veterinary Hospital's) grief group. Being around family and having different coping skills has allowed me to move through the grief in a more positive way.

How are you doing today?

It still hurts. The grief comes in waves. But having support has made a huge difference.

02/02/2023

How we grow in the grieving process

05/07/2022

When your pet’s life comes to an end, you may feel like your own life has turned upside down. Pet-related grief is real and deep, and can be challenging to navigate—especially when your friends and family can’t empathize. But, by better understanding this grief, acknowledging its presence, and...

27/06/2022

We shаre а very strօոg bօոd with օur pets. Eveո аfter deаth, we wаոted tօ be сlօse tօ օur fur bаbies. Sօ օptiօոs

14/04/2021

This is so wonderful!

03/03/2021

A Street Cat Named Bob Official Trailer #1 - Joanne Froggatt, Luke Treadaway Movie HDSubscribe to TRAILERS: http://bit.ly/sxaw6hSubscribe to COMING SOON: htt...

27/02/2021

It's that time of the week again! Paw Talk will be live tomorrow morning so send us your questions or call in at 10 AM Sunday: 421 WSYR!