Gray House began with a woman’s love, loss, and rediscovery of her true passion in life.
In October 2016, I lost one of my best friends, a 14-year-old Norwegian Elkhound named Einar. My family and I had adopted him when he was six years old, the ninth of 15 foster dogs for the Elkhound rescue we fostered for.
It was my idea to foster, after losing my childhood Elkhound, Rana, one of the most influential animals of my life. Although my mother was on the paperwork, I was the trainer and handler for our dogs. I studied different training techniques - from reading books on marker training to watching Cesar Milan on the Discovery Channel - and quickly developed the mindset of working with each dog as an individual, not as a breed. I worked with show-class hounds, lazy couch potatoes, and even aggressive cases during our time fostering.
Then we took in Einar. He was perfect - quiet, loving, calm, and happy no matter what the circumstances. He was meant for us, and after six months and no calls, on Christmas Day (his birthday), we signed the papers and made it official.
He was with me through high school, college, marriage, and moving to a new state with my new husband. He smiled through it all.
The Loss and The Search
But the best things don’t last forever; at the ripe age of 14, the years caught up to my old pup, and in 2016 I had to say goodbye. The loss of Einar took more of an emotional toll on me than I expected, and I found quickly that I needed another dog in my life to help me through.
The one thing I knew was I couldn’t get another Elkhound. Not yet. I could picture myself accidentally calling my new Elkie Einar and breaking down. I couldn’t do that to myself or to the dog I would adopt, so I started researching. I’d always had a passion for working dogs, and Dobermans were always by far my favorite. So we decided a Doberman it would be, and decided to look into rescues.
While searching for a new dog to add to my family, I helped some friends with their own new pups. I took a liking to helping them understand the how and why of their dogs’ behaviors and how to communicate what they wanted from their dogs in a way everyone could understand.
New Dog, New Beginnings
Finally, a couple months after losing Einar, we found a local rescue with a Doberman named Bruce. It was a terrible name for such a hyper 1.5 year old puppy. My husband and I fell in love on the first meeting and we took him home, renaming him after the big baby of Mad Max: Fury Road - Rictus.
Rictus was... a culture shock to say the least. The complete opposite of Einar in all the best ways. He was hyper, too intelligent for his own good, a player (and a jumper), overexcited and overstimulated about everything and everyone. He made enemies with the neighbor dog quickly with his immediate, alert stare that made her uneasy. He was clingy to a fault and couldn’t stand to be alone, making messes and digging on doors.
But we loved him, and we made a commitment to make him a part of the family. So I started working with him like I had all my previous dogs... and quickly came to a brick wall. Rictus simply didn’t understand what I was trying to tell him. All of my usual methods didn’t phase this dog at all.
The one thing I never did was blame him. It is always the responsibility of the owner to communicate with their dog in a way they understand. And it was clear that Rictus simply did not understand me with the way I was trying to communicate with him. Up until this point, I had learned about many other methods of training, but I never saw a need to put them into practice with my own dogs. Now was the time to implement.
I began using a clicker and marking good behaviors. I started re-evaluating how to correct Rictus for bad behavior, or if I needed to correct him at all. I start building a foundation of understanding with him, and soon realized that his trust in his owners and respect for people and animals in general were both lacking.
I didn’t need to know the details of his past to tell that he was never given boundaries, never told what not to do. I needed to draw some boundaries that he could see and enforce them consistently. I also needed to encourage and reward his focus on me and show him how much more rewarding it was to allow me to deal with things like greeting visitors. He needed to learn that I knew who was safe and who wasn’t, what sounds were best left ignored and what sounds may note trouble, and that if they did mean trouble, I would handle it for him, he just needed to come get me.
From My Home to Yours
Working with Rictus at his level was everything I could have hoped for. It gave me a new perspective on life, on dogs, and on my own happiness. I began guiding my friends in their relationships with their dogs, seeing great results. While still working my office day job, I started to anticipate going home to work with Rictus, to talk with my friends about their progress with their own dogs. It became a passion.
So, in January 2017, I made a profile on Thumbtack.com, just something to offer my experience and knowledge to other families looking to make their dogs better members of the family. What I didn’t expect was the number of people looking for that help. But I was ready. Now I regularly work with 10-14 families a week, providing the foundations of a healthy relationship and a happy life for dogs across south central PA, from Harrisburg to Hanover, Gettysburg to Lancaster.
Every day, I add another brick to my Gray House; I learn from every dog, I teach every family, and I grow my own family day by day. I hope you will come and join me here and make your home a Gray House, too.
Virginia Houser
Owner and Lead Trainer
Gray House Dog Training