Enlightened Horsemanship

22/01/2025

My work is an expression of my love for horses, and a reflection of my deep desire to see them get a better deal in their lives with people. It’s a hopeful projection that we can all enjoy meaningful connections together and cause less harm. Perhaps even change our own lives for the better.

But in all reality, it’s even more than that.

It’s a protest of all the things I see that are wrong in the world around us today. Whether it’s the horse industry at large, or an even bigger scale of perspective, you don’t have to look far to see enough to make you want to hide away from it all.

Power. Control. Hate. Fear. Blame. Manipulation. Exploitation. Ego.

In my own little corner of existence, with the handful of those I share my work with, I show up everyday in absolute rejection of these things.

Does it make a difference, me tinkering away in quiet and happy interactions with horses? Who knows. It does for me, and I hope for the people and horses I connect with.

And perhaps, if we all make little choices every day to show up with love and fairness and kindness and courage, the world wouldn’t be so scary after all.

02/01/2025

Horses are incredibly sensitive, intuitive, social, and engaging animals.

Being with them can be an invitation — an opportunity to be more present, more aware, more connected, if we choose. To join them in their unique strengths.

And yet.

Most often they are over simplified, misunderstood, and misrepresented.

Those of us tuned into their nature are asked to change those who aren’t.

But that’s not our job.

I’m not here to change anyone who is set on seeing things a certain way.

But I will extend the invitation that horses so generously extend to me.

Slow down, breathe deep, join us in this moment.

Set aside what we think we know, so we can observe fully what’s in front of us, around us, within us.

You might be surprised by what you find there.

01/01/2025

We are easing into 2025 lightly. Soaking up sunshine and pretty things, rest and connection. Plenty of thoughts about this past year and the year ahead, but for now, we’re here. In the moment. Together ♥️

23/12/2024

My heart is full ♥️

If I had to sum up my time with my horses lately, that would be it.

We tinker away at our training goals, refine communication and explore different ways to harmonize together. But really, there’s a fullness in our interactions that is more expansive than any activity or goal.

When my latest busy season brought a step-down in training availability, I yearned just to have time with my girls again. I felt them calling me to them, drawing me in as I bustled around in their care and my work. It can feel like a real tease to live side by side with them and yet not be connecting in the way I desire. Yet they were there - available, but undemanding.

We are reconnecting now, and while I look forward to picking up training goals again, I’m also leaning into this new found depth in our connections. It’s like I needed the time away to recenter myself and find my own stillness to re-engage.

And that’s the truth of it all, really… the work we do, the magnitude of this exercise in creating partnerships together as different beings, different species. The hard “skills” are really just opportunities to explore our capacity for peace and stillness, connection and harmony, lightness and collaboration.

For my friends who travel a similar path -
may your horses be close and hearts be full as we navigate this next season ahead ♥️

18/12/2024

Looking forward to cold mornings and spicy ponies 🐎🐎

28/11/2024

Feeling full of gratitude and wonder that we are able to walk this life with animals by our side.

19/11/2024

This is critically important information for anyone who spends time with horses:

“But observing horses has taught me a deeper truth: the most important aspect of being a true "team player" is taking responsibility for oneself—both physically and emotionally (to the extent possible)—so others don’t have to carry that extra weight”
* Kim Hallin

As someone who works with both people and horses of all backgrounds and skill levels, this is the most important thing I come across as a barrier or facilitator to healthy horse-human partnerships.

If you care about horses, be sure to hop over and follow Unbridled.

I used to think that teamwork and being a good "team player" was all about having strong interpersonal skills and a willingness to pitch in for the greater good or shared purpose.

But observing horses has taught me a deeper truth: the most important aspect of being a true "team player" is taking responsibility for oneself—both physically and emotionally (to the extent possible)—so others don’t have to carry that extra weight.

When each individual tends to their own needs and wellbeing, the team (or herd) moves forward with balance and grace. Horses show us that a healthy, thriving herd is built on mutual respect, personal accountability, and a shared sense of harmony.

What might change in your life if you prioritized your wellbeing—not just for yourself, but for the good of your "herd"?

14/11/2024

There’s a truly bizarre thing that happens
in the horse world
at an alarmingly frequent rate .

One approaches a horse
Completely blind to the horse itself
No awareness
No recognition
The epitome of arrogance and entitlement.

At point of contact
SURPRISE
The horse is emanating fear
And quickly tips over to panic
at the blind approach
of this potential captor.

Fear escalates
And becomes a seeming opportunity to demonstrate
One’s Skill.

What ”skill”
Overrides fear and panic with pressure?
I have yet to see it
Short of brutality or exhaustion.

When in fact the fear is NOT magically overcome through fairy dust and flying hooves and ropes
“It was the wrong kind of rope.”
Walking away
I can break that horse, he says.
With a strong rope
and nobody watching.

If ever there was an accurate foreshadowing
That one would NOT in fact get the job done
And keep everyone safe
The blind approach coupled with fear escalation
Is IT.

I forget that this
Is The Way for so many.
I’ve done a decent job of removing my exposure to that nonsense.

What I wish I had said-
Don’t you see the fear?
Can’t you feel the panic?
I too can break a horse. I know that skill.
I choose not to do use it.

Don’t tell me you love horses
You make your living caring for horses
And the depth of your skill lies
with a broken horse.

It’s time to be better.
Your power has no place here.

01/11/2024

I have come to recognize gentle horse training as an act of RADICAL KINDNESS. There’s so much I want to say about this as it relates to our horses, their experience of us, and how we experience ourselves in our horsemanship as well. But today, I simply want to say this — if ever there was a time for radical kindness in the world, the time is now. It’s time to reject aggression and violence, and run not walk towards radical kindness. Wherever you are, whatever your sphere of influence, however you have shown up in the past… may we all find our way to positively impact our world and those in it. Who’s with me?

29/10/2024

If we want to break the cycle of punishing (“correcting”) our horses for doing something we don’t want,

If we don’t want to fall into old techniques that use threats and fear and pain to establish safe boundaries with our horses,

We need to get better at telling our horses what we DO want. Doing it sooner, more clearly, more consistently.

Teach your horse what you are available for.

It can feel daunting, especially if it’s a longstanding behavior pattern, but short and quiet and repeated experiences do the trick 💯

Here’s some quick tips:
- plan ahead
- keep it light hearted
- Keep it simple
- keep it short
- understand the motivation behind the behavior

For example:

I have (accidentally) taught this delightful girl to crowd my space and use her notsosmall head to demand bear hugs and intense scratching.

How I’m creating a change:
- NOT being around her when I’m distracted or dysregulated. I need to be fully aware and present when we are together.
- starting at a distance - our conversation starts from 10+ feet away, so she doesn’t get in my space or not have a chance to respond if I miss the timing.
- giving her a target - my hands are offered in front of my body and the point of connection when she approaches (or I approach her).
- not getting mad, but trying again - she misses the target and ends up too close? No muss no fuss, I just walk away and reset for another try.
- wash rinse repeat - do this frequently, ie every time we interact. Going to get another horse for training? Take 2 minutes to practice this with Bella.
- finding opportunities to give her what she’s looking for - this is a really important step!! Because I know she’s looking for deep scratches, I look for opportunities to approach her when she’s NOT pushing into my space, connect at my hand target, and go TO HER to give her the scratches. If she gets too close or heavy, I simply disengage and try again (or another time).

What behavior would you like to change in your horse interactions WITHOUT using forceful or intimidating or reactive methods?

28/10/2024

10 years ago I had the incredible opportunity to meet Jaime Jackson and tour the paddock paradise at his AANHCP headquarters. There, I saw how horses can be kept in a way that truly aligns with their natural needs, fully supported in their wellbeing. What's more, I saw horses more alive than any I see in traditional horse keeping settings -- they were equally vibrant and so full of peace.

You know that saying - when you know better, you do better? This was one of those times, and within days of returning home I had created our own paddock paradise for Katie and W***y. (Yes, somehow I ended up with the royal couple as my horse companions).

It was a bit of a comical shift as we had only had our horses at our new home for 6 months and had diligently (expensively) cleared/fenced a lovely 3-acre pasture that spring 😬. My husband graciously didn't protest as I pounded t-posts and strung electric fence for an entire weekend.

10 years later and now with the next generation of our horse herd, I am just as enthusiastic about giving horses the life that they are designed for. I continue to make adaptations and follow the horses' feedback as to what lights them up and supports their full health.

Cheers to the next 10 years of learning, growing, and loving our horses the best we can ♥️🥂🐴

26/10/2024

I felt capable and at home on my horse today.

Not because we did anything extraordinary or even agreed on the intention of the ride, but because:

🔶 we had LANGUAGE to navigate our desires and requests
🔶 we had TRUST to give each other the benefit of the doubt
🔶 we had EMOTIONAL REGULATION to not become frustrated with each other as we heard each other out.
🔶 we had several experiences of moving together with BALANCE and EASE.

Isn’t this what we all want? To feel capable and at home with our horses?

To be invited by them into a training or recreation or connection experience, and then dabble together in the nuance of what a partnership between species can be?

For everyone out there struggling with all the things and wondering if you’ll ever get these moments where it feels like things are coming together for you and your horse — I see you. Most days, I am you. Keep showing up, and know that your horse sees you too. ♥️

24/10/2024

"RESPECT" is one of those tricky human constructs full of emotion, history, and any number of motivators.

So, let's make it simple -

We want our horses to be responsive and safe. We want to feel confident with and around them, and genuinely enjoy our time together. In our hearts, we want them to enjoy our time together, too.

How do we get there?

I do think RESPECT has a lot to do with it, but not in the way you might think.

Ultimately, respect as it relates to our horsemanship is really about respect for the HORSE and their nature, their learning needs, their dignity. And respect for ourselves - our own knowledge and skill level, as well as our learning process.

The next time you spend time with your horse, I encourage you to think about how respect might play into your experience. Tell me how it goes!

19/10/2024

When have we earned the right to change our horses?

I’ve been pondering this question lately, and am curious what you think.

Change can be:

🐴 influencing their decisions

🐴 affecting their movement

🐴 impacting their emotions

🐴 facilitating an experience

Etc etc.

So basically, any experience with our horses where we ask anything of them.

What do you think?

17/10/2024

There’s an aptly termed “throw away mentality” that’s prevalent in the horse industry.

Horse isn’t working for you? Is too hard/too opinionated/too inconvenient/not accommodating of your lack of knowledge or skills or discipline?

Throw them away - meaning relieve yourself of your responsibility to them, and find a new horse that may be more resilient to your desires.

I used to get really angry (and tbh, sometimes still do). But I see more and more that most people inflicting harm truly do so unaware of the consequence of their choices, or the reason their choice is inappropriate for another sentient being.

Genuinely disconnected from self and others.

This doesn’t absolve them of their actions, but it does create a bit of space for compassion that might lead towards connection, care, and so importantly, change.

Contrary to what we see on the news and in our communities (hello USA), forcing my anger and frustration on others isn’t going to change the uninformed and disconnected. Most people I know don’t respond well to another person agitating at them with big opinions and judgment about their choices.

It seems that, if we truly want to see change in the way horses are treated, we need to take our righteous anger and frustration and shape it into something productive. Motivation, discipline, study, example setting, yes even a compassionate offer of connection, in order to perhaps shine a light for others to a new way.

Because it’s not about forcing my opinions and values on someone else. (btw, isn’t that what disconnected equestrians do who treat horses like commodities rather than sentient beings?)

No, if we want people to have care and connection and inherent value with their horses, it seems they need to find their own connection and care and value within themselves.

27/09/2024

It’s not enough to ask the question.

There’s been an important industry shift towards “Ethical” horsemanship that includes a focus on asking rather than demanding from our horses.

Ask, and wait for response.
Ask, without increasing pressure.
Ask, and be sure what you are asking is fair and appropriate.

It’s great! For both horses and humans.

Now, let’s take it one step further -

What if, we not only ask, but we also allow and accept whatever response that horse provides as useful information?

Asking is great, but please be clear that asking doesn’t entitle us to a “yes” from our horse.

Our horse might say yes.

They might also say no, I can’t.
No, I’m not ready.
No, I don’t want to.
No, I’m not sure.
No, not like that.
Hmmm… what?

And then what? What do we do when we ask with all the kindness and clarity in the world and our horse still doesn’t say yes?

The answer I think depends on our perspective and goal. If we are using asking (versus telling/demanding) as just another way to get what we want from our horse, we can quickly get frustrated, discouraged, and even resort to the tell/demand techniques that perhaps “worked better” because at least we get what we want in the moment.

But if, instead, we ask because we want to create meaningful communication as we enjoy each other’s company while building skills and partnership, anything other than an enthusiastic YES can be received with curiosity, interest, and humility.

It doesn’t mean we were wrong, or the horse is not ok.

It just means this is an opportunity to be considerate, and perhaps flexible and compassionate too.

Because, if Yes isn’t the only possible way to success, we open the door to deeper connection, understanding, discipline, skill building, and so much more.

26/09/2024

I have often felt a bit like an alien, or someone out on an island, when it came to my approach to sharing horses with people. Maybe because I don’t see anyone else doing the same near me, and perhaps because I didn’t have the words to articulate it as I wanted to.

🌟 this right here 🌟

If you are a parent of a kid with the horse bug, or a new equestrian, or a lifelong equestrian who feels something is missing in their horsemanship, and ESPECIALLY if you are someone who teaches others about horses, read this right here.

I wish for everyone learning to be with horses to have this education. The horses will all benefit, and importantly, the student does as well.

And what’s more - recognize that the lovely softness and connection established from the ground often seems to disappear the moment we are on their backs, or “in control” through a lead rope.

I don’t think it’s because we are selfish or controlling, but rather that we don’t have a concept for riding horses that doesn’t involve control in order to provide pleasure or entertainment to the rider. We simply don’t know what we don’t know, and instead we mimic what we see.

I share this because it’s so important for us to see a different way, and know that we, too, can be different.

HOW WE SAY IT MATTERS
A Short Story from Week Two of the Foundational Youth Program.................

"Can we ride today?" a student asks with a glint in their eye and a big, begging smile.

"Why are you asking me?" I say. "I'm not the one you want to sit on."

"Well... you know what I mean!" They say in reply. I smile, and gesture them towards the lesson area. I know that soon, if they listen, they will know what *I mean*, too.

"If June and Penny say you all can ride, then we will end with some ba****ck riding. But I really mean that. It's not up to me, it's up to them." I say with firm but gentle clarity. "So, let's see if we can show them we are listening. So we can hear their answer when they give it to us."

This week is about Boundaries, for both the horse and the human. We break this down into consent, feel, and care. The exercises are silly enough for us to be playful. But careful enough for us to tune into the conversations our horses will have with us when we listen.

For the first 90 minutes of our 2 hour class, we learn how to ask where space bubbles start and end. We learn how to approach our horse with a question ("may i join you in your space?"). We learn how to wait for consent before touching ("may I touch you here?"). We learn that consent means that our yes may change from a no, and also how to show care for that shift in needs. It requires first paying attention enough to be able to listen and observe (which is why week 1 is about Awareness). Then, it requires showing the horses that we understand the responses.

Both horses, June and Penny, show great appreciation for the respect they are given. I feel from them a willingness to offer a short ride to the kids.

So, the kids get on, using their new skills of asking and checking in. Almost immediately upon getting on, the same student from the beginning of the class asks, "So... when do I get to control it?"

"It?" I think. "Control?" I ponder. What happened to the respect we had been cultivating the last hour and a half. I recall our conversation from last week when we all listed ways horses are different from cars. It seemed like we understood horses weren't push-button objects then. What got lost from then to now? I realize that the work of teaching recognition of the aliveness and autonomy of the horse shall be more work than I expected. Finally, I respond.

"Never. You never get to control the horse. And also, when did Penny become an 'it'?"

"Well... Okay! When do I get to make *her* do what I want?" They ask, attempting to ask a question to get the answer they want.

"Never. You can't make her do anything either."

The student begins to get flustered. Still with a good attitude, but with a touch of frustration, they fumble with their words and then exclaim with a smile: "Well, you know what I mean!"

"Yes, I do know what you mean. But how we ask this question matters."

Finally, the student sighs. Having met a dead end in their line of questioning, they say, "Well, I don't know any other way to say it."

"It's okay. That's completely okay! Let's find a way to say it together." Because this is important. Myself and my helper start to lead the two horses in a circle while we all try to work together to find out what we really mean.

Some are silent and some ramble as we look for the words. Finally, carefully, the same student says, "When... can I.... ask the horse to do something?"

They start to get excited as they see me get excited. It's like a game of hotter.... colder....

I can't help but smile bigger. "Yes! That's exactly it. Well, what do we need to be able to do to ask them a question?"

"...Communicate?" Another student boldy explores the unknown. Giving tentative answers, but giving them nonetheless. They are trying. This is important. They are really trying.

"Yes! And how do we communicate? We know horses don't use words like we do. So, how do we talk?"

"With our bodies?"

"Mhmm. And... what do we need to be able to do to communicate with our bodies?"

The answer is so simple, I wonder if it will slip on by them. After a bout of silence, I burst out excitedly, "We have to know what our bodies are doing!"

We go on to talk about how everything we do with our bodies matters to the horses, whether it is intentional or not. We talk about how our movement is like "noise" and if we can't learn how to be "quiet" with our bodies before we try to "talk", then there will be too much noise and our horses won't even be able to understand us. It's not so much about being so quiet that we never speak. It's more about being able to find the quiet so that when we do speak it is clear, considerate, and purposeful

So, somehow, we come back to week one: Awareness. Know where you and your horse are in space. Then week two: Boundaries. Move with feel, care, and consent. and then we end with a question...

I ask them to find quiet in their bodies (somehow they all naturally gravitate toward a nearly perfect riding position). I ask them to find breath and balance. I teach them how to "ask" for their horse to take a step, letting them know that if this is really conversation and not a command, its okay for their horse to say "I'd rather not."

The student who asked me these questions settles in their body. They close their eyes and find their balance. With the lightest pressure from their calves, they press Penny's sides to ask her to walk. Nearly immediately, with a soft willingness, she does exactly that. Her expression almost resembling that of a cheerful coach (yes, yes! like that!). The student looks at me with a gaping smile, with a touch of surprise, I think (whoa, that really worked?!?).

Maybe I did understand what they meant when they first asked all of these questions. But I wasn't sure they understood what *they* meant. Nor was I sure they understand the impact of relating to the horses as a "thing" they "control". So, as they learn how to relate to horses, I want to be clear: How we say it matters. Because its really not just what we are saying. What we say describes how we are experiencing these relationships.

And how we relate... well... it matters.

12/09/2024

Running your own business is no joke.

It's not enough to believe strongly in what you offer and work hard to make a difference for those you serve.

It's not enough to be a great trainer or coach or instructor.

Being an equine professional and small business owner also means being an administrator, marketer, strategic planner, logistics manager, accountant, scheduler... oh yeah, and feeder, groom, poo picker, lesson planner, hay bag packers, tack cleaner, supply manager, blah blah blah.

It's tempting to neglect a few of those areas, some more than others really, and focus on just the things that come easily or have quick results.

It feels right at the time, but unfortunately this leads to cracks that become gaps that become gopher holes in the big picture of a viable business. Because, like it or not, it all matters.

The same goes for our horses! It can be tempting to focus solely on what's right in front of us, or what comes easily, or what's most enjoyable. But the reality is, horses are dynamic and complex social creatures that are not waiting around for us monkeys to come make them do something interesting.

Working with horses, for me, means looking at the big picture - all of the things that go into making them the amazing creatures they are - and accounting for all of it in our work together. Not all at once per se, but not neglecting any of it either.

Being a worthy partner to our horses means rising to the occasion -- meeting them in all of their fullness, with all of ours. It's a holistic practice.

As an equestrian, what aspect of your horse do you find easiest to focus on? What's most difficult? Have you found a way to balance it all?