29/08/2025
Even the BEST vet out there, with amazing critical thinking and physical examination capabilities can still "miss" things. I learned a long time ago based on an experience that happened with a friends dog....that the pet owner knows best. 10000%. If something is off, it is.
The challenging thing is I can put this vet cap on but as a pet owner.....I can convince myself anything else is causing changes in my own pet.
And today.....that has come full circle to stab me in the chest.
For two months I have noticed a change in my heart dog. She was not wanting to "cuddle". That was it. Simple. Subtle. And could have easily been explained away by the obnoxious puppy that was now my responsibility with the rescue. I did a "brief" exam and everything seemed ok 2 months ago. I did not pursue anything else.
I have been told by board certified specialists that they are impressed with my ability to pick things up on physical exam. Liver mases, pancreatic masses, stomach and bladder masses. Things not easy to do.
But did I do that with my own dog? My heart dog? The one who has kept be breathing for 11 years? No.....I explained things away until I couldn't look away anymore.
And now it is too late.
I have given SO much to this clinic. Sacrificed every single day. Financially bend all the time. Available nearly 24/7. Having an email inbox of 300 emails at the start of every week.
I have nothing to give myself, let alone my pets after taking care of everyone else's pets. Putting their pets above my own. Always saying "I can do my dog next week". Until "next week" has turned into 6 months.
My failure to work to exhaustion will be what is the death to my own dog.
I would never tell an owner to strongly consider having the procedures I am considering. And its 1000% out of guilt.
I am not ready. I need more time. I was supposed to have more time. Today was a turning point for me. I can no longer sacrifice my very existence for this practice. I should have trusted my gut that said something was "off". But I just kept putting it to the side and focusing on everything else but her.
A very hard lesson to learn.....
