18/12/2024
Mon cher Saint Nicolas,
C’est moi, the Jean-Claude and how happy indeed I am to meet you once again. I am pleased to report that my preeminence as most handsome animal on the farm persists, and is doubted by no one. Eh bien, but how could it be? You, Santa, have not the elegance of the Jean-Claude but you are a kindly person who dresses well, and that accounts for a great deal. Monsieur Santa, may I please ask you for just a few tiny little things this year?
Did you know that llamas do not really lick? Oh, occasionally the maladapted one may try to lick someone or something, but we consider this to be very outré. Non, we much prefer to delicately nibble. Therefore, the salt blocks which you have so generously donated to the large cows do not suit us. No, they do not at all. What we require is something more delicate, plus raffiné. You see, this very finely ground salt would be just perfect for me. I cannot say for my colleagues Pearl, Marguerite and Dingy, but I suspect they may share my sentiments. https://tinyurl.com/loose-salt-for-jc
Monsieur – may I provide a brief lesson on the toilet habits of camelids? Eh bien, you see we are not like the impossibly messy cows who simply plop their enormous waste in piles everywhere so that those less careful may step in them. Nor are we like the sheep, who walk while pooping. M***e, that is a terrible sight. Mais non! We have our own private toilets. We designate a few spots on the farm and then use these exclusively. They must be cleaned up regularly, but, hélas, the shovels, they do not work so well. This is a very fine and handsomely decorated ‘pooper scooper’ exclusively designed for llamas and alpacas. This will enable the people who serve us to greatly enhance the sanitation of our WCs. https://tinyurl.com/pooper-scooper-for-jc
C’est tout, monsieur le Santa! Ah, except may you please send to me a sponsor or several sponsors? If they shall bring me the baby carrots, I will be glad to engage in polite conversation with them.
https://shop.stargazingfarm.org/product/jean-claude/
It has been a pleasure, my dear sir,
Jean-Claude
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841
Star Gazing Farm is a farm animal sanctuary in Maryland.