Maren Milton Peaceful Ride Horsemanship

09/04/2025

INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING

I'm reading an amazing book called Amphibious Soul by Craig Foster, the Academy award winning documentary film maker of "My Octopus Teacher".

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, it is simply profound.

In the book he says "As a rule, I never touch an animal unless they touch me first".

In my work building relationship with horses, I do this too. Most times a horse will touch you with their nose/muzzle first, and matching that greeting (versus labelling the horse as a biter) is a game changer.

But there's a phenomenon I have noticed going on with people trying to build relationship with their horses that I have labelled "inappropriate touching", and it looks a bit like the photo below.

This picture was taken at a horse expo in Pennsylvania recently, where I worked with a demo horse who has a "biting issue". He would reaching out in a way that his owner was termed as nipping, whereas I interpreted as him saying hello, similar to reaching out to shake hands with someone.

When he reached out I would greet him with a flat hand that he is able to to nuzzle, lick or even scrape his teeth on. After doing this a while his snappy acting motions got less so, and he was no longer needing to say "hey, pay attention" , but was more "hey, how's it going". I was explaining to the audience that I was meeting him in the way that he was meeting me (with his muzzle) and that it's not an invitation to touch other parts (yet).

I then said that it's many people's default to reach up and rub a horse between the eyes, whether that's what they are offering or not, and that if you do, it's inappropriate touching and it gets in the way of connection. It doesn't meet their needs, and is all about yours.

With the horse in the picture, he'd been engaging me with his muzzle, and I said to the audience "watch what happens when I try to rub him between the eyes". As you can see in the photo, he has raised his head up and is clearly indicating "No, not there, on my muzzle".

We had a Connection And Attunement retreat here at the Journey On Ranch a week ago, and I used my wife Robyn to illustrate this point to the participants. I said "imagine I'm at a gathering and meeting Robyn for the first time". We walked up to each other in that way people do when they see someone new and they can tell an introduction is shaping up, Robyn reached out with her hand to say hello and instead of me reaching out to shake her hand, I gently reached up and lightly brushed a wisp of hair from her cheekbone and tucked it behind her ear.

The participants all gasped and the ick factor was high.

Even though it was caring, and gentle, it was inappropriate at that moment.

Now Im not saying you can't rub your horse on the forehead. I'm saying if your horse has a disregulated nervous system around humans because they don't feel seen (and safe), try to meet their needs first, before trying get get yours met.

I recently saw an instagram post from a University in the UK, and the professor was explaining that they were doing studies on horses to determine levels of stress. In the background a horse was standing with his head out over a Dutch door. While he was explaining their investigations on stress, a female student (or maybe another professor, I don't know which) walked up to the horse. The horse reached out with his muzzle to greet her.

She ignored this and reached up to rub the horse between the eyes.

He turned his head 90 degrees to the left to communicate that wasn't what he was offering.

Her hand followed him and kept rubbing.

he then turned his head 180 degrees to the right, saying "No, not like that".

Smiled, gave him another pet between the eyes, and walked of camera.

While the professor was saying that they are doing experiments determining the amounts of stress horses are under, someone in the background was actually creating stress, without either of them even knowing it.

Once you understand how sentient horses are, and how subtle their communication, you can't unsee it.

05/02/2025

07/12/2024

As we approach the Winter solstice
the days are at their shortest and the
light is sparse.
Allow this period of quietude
to enter..
Make gentle adjustments
to your daily life.
Hibernating instincts are strong
right now, and we need to
act upon them.
Winter is a time for recuperating.
We need to follow the example
of nature,
she is quietly resting and
restoring her energies for the spring.
As the light diminishes,
we are reminded
to slow down and do less.
Too often we ignore
the invitation to stillness.
Winter is a time for waiting ..
The light will return,
as will the flora and the fauna.
In the meantime,
take a deep breath
And relax into the season
of deep rest ...

Serendipity Corner 🍂CC

Artist Credit: Taryn Knight

06/12/2024

Sometimes, the happiest moments in life are the quiet, unnoticed ones. In the rush of our daily routines, it's easy to overlook the simple joys that make life extraordinary.
Whether it's the warmth of a morning sunbeam, the comfort of a shared smile, or the calm of a peaceful evening, these subtle experiences often hold the key to our deepest contentment.
Pause and take a moment to truly see these small but significant aspects of your life. By appreciating the little things, you can find a profound sense of happiness and fulfillment.
Embrace the unnoticed moments—they may just turn out to be the most treasured parts of your journey..

Balt Rodriguez 🍂 Choose Yourself

Artist Credit: Fine Art America

04/12/2024

Comparative neurobiology of horse and human.

Horses and humans are both mammals.
Our brains may not be the same size, but they are almost identical in their structure and function.

Why can our brains look so similar but our behaviours and sensitivity to the world look so different?

The area in the picture highlighted is the prefrontal cortex or the (PFC). Its job in humans, horses, dogs, dolphins, elephants, cats, mice, rats, all mammals, and even birds is to carry out "higher executive functions" such as:

🧠 problem solving
🧠 decision making
🧠 reasoning
🧠 risk assessment
🧠 forward planning
🧠 impulse control
🧠 intention

Obviously, these executive functions are more advanced in humans than in other species of mammals, but this part of the brain plays a pivotal role in higher levels of learning beyond primal behaviours and learning survival skills.

So why aren't we seeing these higher executive functioning skills and behaviours in horses as much as what we see them in dogs, dolphins, elephants and even birds?

Ultimately it comes down to safety!

The latest neuroscience research suggests that when the brain feels unsafe it causes the body to produce stress response hormones and these stress response hormones cause the PFC to go "offline".
This means that subcortical regions of the brain (deeper parts of the brain) such as the primal brain (AKA limbic system, survival brain, flight/fight brain) completely take over to increase the chances of survival.

Feeling unsafe causes the feeling of fear and it is fear that gets this party started.

So behaviours come from two areas:

1. The PFC, carrying out problem solving skills, reasoning, impulse control, forward planning etc. that may be interpreted as "obedience" and "partnership".

2. The primal brain, carrying out reactive survival behaviours. This brain does NOT carry out impulse control, forward planning, problem solving, etc. It just reacts to the world. This brain heavily relies on patterns and consistency. This brain will cause freeze/flight/fight behaviours such as shutting down, bolting, biting, rearing, bucking, kicking, barging, etc.

Which brain is the domesticated horse spending most of it's time in?
It's primal brain!

This is why we don't get to see their full intellectual and cognitive potential because most of the time, domesticated horses are perceiving their world in a fearful way to some degree.

We can help our horses with this!

Feeling fearful is the OPPOSITE to feeling calm.
If we want to help our horses access their PFC then we MUST do whatever it takes to help them feel calm.

☝️ ONLY when a brain feels calm can it slow down enough to develop TRUE confidence. Only when the brain feels confident will it access TRUE cognition (PFC).

☝️ We first need to understand that when we get "bad behaviour" from our horses, it's not intentional or naughty or rude. What you are seeing is either a horse that is just reacting to the fear they feel or they are carrying out their "coping mechanism" in response to their anticipation of feeling fear.

☝️ Try to remove expectations that your horse should "know better".
"Knowing better" implies that all behaviours are coming from the PFC and there should be some impulse control and reasoning. Unless your horse feels calm, they can't access the PFC to "know better".

THIS STARTS WITH YOU!!!

You need to be consciously aware if YOU feel calm first. If you feel calm, your horse will have a better chance at feeling calm. Expecting them to feel calm when you don't is unfair.

The best way to create calmness is to intentionally be SLOW!!!
SLOW EVERYTHING you do down.
SLOW your movement down.
SLOW your talking down.
SLOW your walking down.
SLOW your breathing down.
SLOW your horse down.
If you feel too slow, then you're going slow enough.

Calmness is slow, not fast.

This will help you and your horse to connect and feel safe together.
When the brain feels stressed, the stress response hormones cause the body to speed up.

Stress = speed

We can reverse engineer this process and create a calm mind through slow intentional movement and a relaxed posture.

The by-product of a calm brain is confidence and cognition (PFC access).

Happy brain training 🧠
Charlotte 😊

Photo: Credit: Adult horse (equine) brain, sagittal section. Michael Frank, Royal Veterinary College. Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0)

27/11/2024

Striking a match too hard won’t light it.
In fact, it might break it.
And then there will be no light.

Piling too much on a fire won’t keep it lit.
In fact, it might suffocate it.
And then there will be no fire.

Burning a candle constantly won’t keep it burning.
In fact, it will exhaust it.
And then there will be no flame.

Sometimes gently is better.
Sometimes little by little is needed.
Sometimes rest is necessary.

Sometimes gentleness gives us light
and space to breathe.

Sometimes gentleness allows us to come back to life again when we weren’t even sure if we still had that fire in us.

So don’t be too hard on yourself.
Don’t pile on the pressure.
Don’t burn yourself out.

Because your flame can’t stay alive like that ..

Becky Hemsley Poetry ✨

Artist Credit: Esther Bennink

24/08/2024

Great trail ride with my student Delaney at HQ today! Tilly did awesome trotting almost the entire ride with a few minutes of caner, and Li'lManwas a rockstar as usual. Having fun getting the horses back in shape after being away!!! I 💜💙 my 🐴🦄!

21/05/2024

The problem is you think you have one problem, when the actual problem is much more complex and systemic.

We tend to fixate on the presentations of a problem- horse won’t get in the trailer, horse jigs on the trail. We ask questions relating to that problem- how do I get my horse to ___? How do I get my horse to stop ____? But we should be looking for the root of the problem. How does my horse feel about everything I do? What is his understanding in everything I do? Where do I see similar presentations of this problem present itself in other facets of our time together?

Rarely does a horse have one single problem in one single thing- it is often system wide, a deep pressure ignored or misunderstood until it comes to a head somewhere visible to us.

11/05/2024

"There is something inside you that knows what to do!" 💜 Thanks Amy!

Relax, nothing is under control-

One thing I have learned as an extremely important life skill, is to let go and trust that my gut will guide me.
As a teacher who regularly gets ten snorty horses in the same space, as a caretaker of 14 horses with many behavioral issues, as a mother to two spicy daredevil children, as a human being on the planet, I have rarely found worrying and trying to control to be effective or helpful at all.

Finding the calm in the chaos- to learn to find the pause in the noise. There is something inside you that knows what to do. Your intellect can only take you so far. Your mind can be a liar and lead you astray like a siren to a ship, crashing into the rocks. The something inside will guide you through, if you let go, and wake up.

Practice, learn theory, develop skill- these things can’t be neglected. Do your due diligence, and then breathe into the chaos. I don’t mean to get in over your head on purpose, or livr a purposely chaotic life- i mean when things get hairy, as they often do, worry steals your precious energy from being able to see - breathe to quiet the worry, open your eyes, and follow the inside voice.