31/12/2025
Last week, I had an in-person lesson with a family who are doing *everything* right on paper.
Their dogs are high-drive, working breeds.
They do dog sports. They play fetch.
Every day they let their dogs run, chase, wrestle, and train them.
And yet ... the owners are completely exhausted.
Their day starts around 6:30 a.m. with barking.
Demand barking.
And then, all day long the dogs pace, vocalize, stare, push toys at them, and insist on more.
More action. More intensity. More stimulation. More go-go-go.
The only quiet time they get is one or two hours at night, right before bed.
This is a pattern I see all the time, especially with people who truly want to meet their dog’s needs.
It sounds logical:
“My dog has a lot of energy, so I need to burn it off.”
But this is where things go wrong really fast.
When a dog’s entire day is built around high-arousal activities, they don’t just "burn off steam".
They get locked into one way of being.
Over time, the dog stops noticing ANYTHING else.
The yard isn’t a place to sniff, roll, dig, or lie in the sun.
Being with their human isn’t about simply existing together.
It’s only about the next adrenaline hit.
Fetch. Chase. Sports. Toys. Movement.
And when that’s all a dog knows, calm doesn’t even occur to them as an option.
So here is what those dogs need more than anything else:
Low-arousal time with YOU.
Not sleeping in their crate after activity.
Not collapsing from physical exhaustion.
But deliberately doing "boring things" together.
If a dog has never experienced hanging out in the yard while you read, without trying to make you throw their ball AGAIN, they won’t magically learn how to do that on their own (especially if they’re a high-energy breed).
Dogs only know what we show them.
So with this family, we’re starting small and intentionally:
– Scatter feeding to replace one fetching session a day
– Lick mats side by side instead of only racing together
– Time outside that isn’t about doing anything highly exciting
This isn’t about “doing less” for the dogs.
It’s about giving them behavioral diversity.
A healthy dog doesn’t just do one thing well.
They can move between states. They can choose different behaviors. They can be active and neutral.
If your dog can only bring you a ball - but can’t sniff, chew, rest, explore, or disengage - that’s not a sign of a "driven" working dog.
That’s a sign something REALLY important is missing.
And the good news is:
We CAN teach our dogs to just be without needing the next adrenaline hit. And then life will also get easier for YOU.