06/06/2025
Most folks admire the equine
They assume he’s resilient and strong
He runs all around
Always healthy and sound
But the common man’s thinking is wrong
Majestic? Sure. And for flat-out brawn
The horse has impressive amounts
But sorrel, buckskin or roan
They are all accident prone
And do their best to drain my account
When my mare has a temp, I want to shout
Hello, vet? Please! Just cure what ails her
But then, Whoa! Stop the clock
You gotta understand, doc
That bill’s more than my horse AND trailer
Infections and proud flesh and a deep rooted cough
The unknown is always the worst
Back to the vet
What did I expect?
This colt’s an ATM ... in reverse
Packing a leg? Gah. Of course he is
So I worry and I fret and I stress
A broken leg I fear
But I jump up and cheer
When I find out it’s just an abscess
Bumps, bruises, infections and wounds
EPM, EHV for Pete’s sake!
Please don’t kick and frolic
You’ll get too hot and colic
Why can't you cut me a break?
Every so often, all the snags smooth right out
There’s no lameness or vet bills or sickness
But that spell always ends
Whoops! A colic again
That’s fine, my kids don’t need a Christmas
If it goes too long and your money adds up
Or you’ve got way more time than before
Go buy the best horse you know
And then enter a show
That’s sure to make one come up sore
I stand, cash in hand, on the phone with the vet
He says “Kel, now what have you got?”
Well, he has a fixed humpback
His head bobs like a pump jack
Each time he swings into a trot
I guess I need to cut down on my numbers
To have one or two horses makes sense
So when plastic blows by
From way out of the sky
Fewer horses pile into the fence
I’ll wrap them in plastic and keep them shut up
In a soft spot, with no room to roam
Kept in a padded stall?
Wouldn’t that beat all!
They’d chew up and choke on the foam.
-Kelly Neubert, Western Horseman
