
27/04/2025
Unfortunately the new reality of grooming …
Pricing Your Grooms: Maths That’ll Make You Cry – BIG rant, no apology…
Alright, let’s rip the plaster off. Here’s the brutal truth: Every time you price a groom, the Government, your landlord, and your business all get fed BEFORE you do.
Every £1 you charge? Only about 33p actually ends up in your sad little pocket.
👑 1/3 goes straight to the Government (big shoutout to Rachael Thieves for doing absolutely nothing to earn it) to fund uninvited guests, potholes and broken NHS websites in VAT, NI and Tax. 🧼 1/3 gets inhaled by your business in exploding business costs - rent, council tax, water, electric, insurance, sharpening, maintenance to building, maintenance of equipment, new scissors, replacement blades - you get it. 💸 1/3 That’s all you have to actually live on. Your food, heat, therapy (an occasional bottle of wine or Netflix …who can afford both these days?) and your emotional support pizza - you know, life.
So when you undercharge because “it’s just a little trim”, “it’s a only tiny dog” or you do nails for free “because it will benefit the dog” - you're basically paying Karen for the privilege of shaving her yeti. Stop being the nice gal. You can’t pour from an empty cup - or groom from an empty wallet.
When you’re charging £60 for a two-hour full-groom, Karen honestly thinks you’re earning £30 an hour. You’re NOT!! You’re actually earning more like £10 an hour... and that’s before you even consider working extra time because Karen “forgot” to mention her Cavapoochondoodle was matted to the bone.
FACE IT - IF YOU’RE NOT PRICING PROPERLY, YOU'RE JUST AN UNPAID INTERN WITH CLIPPERS, A BLASTER AND SCISSORS. MORAL OF THE STORY? IF YOU’RE NOT PRICING RIGHT, YOU’RE BASICALLY PAYING TO WORK.
Exposure, “experience” and a pat on the head won’t ever pay the rising bills, neither will goodwill fix your broken shoulders, RSI and hernia damage. Stop doing charity work for free. You're a luxury service, not a discount bargain basement.
👉 So Fix your prices, save your soul and get the Hourly Rate Calculator at www.centrestagedog.co.uk.
If you’re not charging like your spine depends on it, you’ll be broke, bitter, and one tangle away from setting up an Etsy store for revenge voodoo dolls.