19/12/2019
The blower was tinkling out the sound of Bow Bells. I strode over with me plates of meat and picked up the dog with me chalk farm and held it to me shell-like. It was that old lag Benny the bulldog. Something was happening, a job, a naughty blag, something was being planned, Old Kent road way, your manor, they were putting a team together, they needed some muscle and they thought of me. I’m retired I said, you ain’t no more they said, you’re in, up to your haunches.
Benny went on….. “now, I know a dog, who knows a dog, what knows a dog, who knows a bitch, filthy bitch! Who knows a hound who’s putting it all together, and they want you to train and set the pack up.
Good dogs, they must be good dogs, pointers, obedient, strong dogs, not afraid of digging, they’ll be digging all night, fit dogs, no sniffing around, disciplined, no previous, no mug shots, no dabs left around, collars not felt, all pedigree, no mongrels. They’ll be a decent b**g in it for you, not just an Ayrton Senna, probably a monkey at least, used notes. We also need a look out, sight-hound be good and a Jag driver with a clean licence, we’ve already lifted the wheels, we want a dog who can keep his eyes peeled, c**k his leg at the law, keep his nose down and go to ground when needed, no giving tongue, a dog who’s lost his tail, got clean paws, clean as a whistle, not known at the local factory or by the sweeney.
“It’s all slotting into place, a walk in the park” he said “the old bill turned the club over last night but the slags drew a blank, no leads, just sniffing, never felt the heat, I aint no grass, not a nonce, no porridge for me, no form.
Tomorrows on, so you’re in right, no heroics, keep to heel, fetch when called, no paw prints, make sure you’re carrying, if the filth lift you, it’ll just be an overnight kennel, no throwing away the key, we’ve b**ged the brief a sweetner, a bag o’ bonio right, he’s best in show, mums the word chum. No wagging tongues eh? “
Who’s putting this lark together I asked.
“Jack”, said Benny, “Jack the bleedin Russell.”
“Jesus Christ almighty,” I said, “not Jack-for-lack of Bleedin Russell, the Baskerville bastard himself!”
A condemned dog is already dead I thought
and therefore can’t even bark or howl about it, let alone point it out.
Hugo the Vizsla x x x