16/02/2022
Stubby was a good boy like me!
Named Stubby, he was a dog of an “uncertain breed.” Serving with the American forces, Stubby was the most decorated dog of World War I and was promoted to the rank of sergeant for his heroics in battle. He was a good boy, unless you were a German soldier.
--On This Day in History, S**t Went Down: February 5, 1918--
Stubby was a stray. A few months after the U.S. finally entered the war, in July of 1917, Stubby was wandering about campus at Yale University. At the same time, members of the 102nd Infantry Division were training there, and he hung around, probably thinking those guys had some food. Corporal James Conroy took a liking to Stubby, and took the good boy back to the barracks, keeping his presence hidden from uptight officers who have to pretend that they don’t love dogs because regulations or some s**t.
One of the things the men taught Stubby to do was salute. When it came time to embark for Europe, Conroy smuggled Stubby aboard the troop ship. Soon after arriving in France, Stubby was discovered by Conroy’s commanding officer. Stubby saluted and the officer said well s**t I guess he can stay.
Stubby’s original role was to boost morale for the troops. If you know anything about WWI, it was … unpleasant; keeping up spirits was important. But that would not be Stubby’s only role in combat. And he saw a lot of combat. First entering battle on February 5, 1918, he was under constant fire for over a month. In one battle he was wounded by a German hand gr***de. I’m just going to assume the soldier who threw it didn’t know a dog was in the blast zone because what the f**k?
Sergeant Stubby never shirked, he was involved in 17 battles. What do I mean by “involved?” He could hear the whine of incoming artillery before humans could and warned them to take cover. He also warned of gas attacks and located wounded soldiers in no man’s land—that horrifying section of death between enemy trenches.
Late one night, while most were asleep, Stubby heard a strange sound. He snuck out to investigate and found a German spy and bit him on the ass, holding tight to the spy’s pants and refusing to let go. The ruckus brought Stubby’s comrades, and they took the man prisoner. It was that action that earned Stubby his promotion to sergeant. They also gave Stubby the spy’s Iron Cross they’d taken from him to add to his already ample medal collection.
After the war Conroy smuggled Stubby back home, where he led numerous parades and met three presidents. He died in his sleep in 1926, while snuggled in Conroy’s arms. Stubby’s obituary was longer than those of most famous people of the time. His remains are in the Smithsonian.
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Enough of the tough guy veneer. I do audio versions of all these posts for paying subscribers. I made today's public so if you want you can hear me get all choked up reading the end of this piece. I don't give a s**t if you make fun of me, because dogs. Listen here: https://jamesfell.substack.com/p/audio-on-this-day-in-history-february-2a5
Oh, yeah. And please buy my sweary f**king history book at JamesFell.com.