All the perfect horses

07/08/2023

Totally justifies what I have always said about horses openly demonstrating pain related behaviour.

11/01/2023

I started writing this to try to make sense of what happened to me when I broke my neck, . It has now turned into the memoir of a horse, who's spirit has touched my life. Rio was my teacher and after our experience together I will never regard horses in the same way. I am open now to all that they have to tell us. What's so hard for me to accept is that even on his last day, Rio was more alive than the majority of the horses who have shutdown In order to cope, Rio was simply one who said no, this is not fair. He made me listen, and I think I did. Massive thanks to Catherine, who understands horses more than anyone else I know, and who helped both me and Rio more than you will ever know.

11/01/2023

I let Rio go in the hay barn of our yard at 8am on Saturday the 19th November. Both of my excellent vets had reviewed his health and mental state and confirmed that it was the right thing to do. In the two days leading up, I spoke to everyone I respect and who knew us both to ask their opinions, they all said I was doing the right thing. I had one last option for Rio, a retirement farm in The New Forest that specialised in ex competition horses. I spoke at length to the wonderful lady there, and realised that I couldn't put him through the stress of a new environment and new horses that he might not get on with, and there was still the issue of the pain. So on that Saturday morning, the busy yard suddenly cleared just in time for it to just be me and my horse. With his eyes in mine, I told him how much I love him and that it would all be fine. And then I let my excellent vet step in front of me and I watched my brave and beautiful horse fall gently down onto the hay covered barn floor.

11/01/2023

For two years I had been trying to move house, to buy land so that I could keep my horses at home and thus be in control of Rio's environment. Due to his skeletal issues, he needed to be out 24/7, on good well-draining land, not too near other horses and stressful stimuli if possible and of course with company. My efforts were unrewarding, and so Rio now finds himself without Puzzle. The very situation I had been so keen to avoid. On the outside he seemed ok, but I could tell that he was really stressed and unhappy about being alone, but holding it together.... until I was asked to move him to the field next door, and that small action spelt the beginning of the end. The events that unfolded were upsetting and tragic. Rio ended up jumping a wide ditch and fence and having a rotational fall, in his efforts to storm the next door field and take the mares from Rollo, another ex-jumper that I had brought down to the yard. Luckily no person or horse was seriously hurt but now, staring at my injured and now in-shock horse, the thoughts that had been fleetingly pushed out of my mind over the years, suddenly came into stark reality.

11/01/2023

5th of November a date forever etched in my memory, Puzzle is lame and diagnosed with Laminitis, the vet says that it is mild and she is recovering well but will no longer be a suitable companion for Rio, and will need very careful management. In that moment I knew that this was the beginning of the end, I knew that this spelt a very dire situation for both horses. It was Guy Fawkes and due to Rios past behaviour with other horses, my yard owner would not lend me a companion for him. I had to leave poor Rio out alone in his field while Puzzle was confined to three weeks box rest. That night, scared that Rio in his heightened state would go mad about fireworks, I snuck down to the field and in the dark watched and listened for signs of my distressed horse. He was thankfully quiet.

11/01/2023

After a few months on the field by the river, Rio and Puzzle had to move yet again to a field by the yard, to allow the hackers to cross the river field. We experienced an incredibly hot and dry summer, which was no doubt hard on the horses but they coped well. Puzzle wore her grazing muzzle the whole time as she came to me overweight and it has been difficult keeping her weight down. The plan was always to get them back onto the river field, away from the yard. Although Rio was coping well with the horses on either side of the summer field, historically he had struggled to cope with new horses around him, and the river field was more isolated, so the best choice.

11/01/2023

I did a search today on pain related dangerous behaviour in horses, and immediately found this:
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fvets.2021.734218/full

This is basically mine and Rio's story, its interesting that they paint the picture here of the owner with the new horse, and all ofd the hopes and dreams for their partnership unrealised due to skeletal pain and the issues that go with this. What is also really sad is that the horses in this study, all 14 of them were quite young. The oldest being 14. All were euthanised after the study.

Introduction: Dangerous behavior is considered an undesired trait, often attributed to poor training or bad-tempered horses. Unfortunately, horses with progressive signs of dangerous behavior are often euthanized due to concerns for rider safety and limitations in performance. However, this dangerou...

09/01/2023

As I continually search the internet for answers I won't find, I thought I'd share this in case it helps anyone else make the hardest decision ever.

Following my rite of passage as a horse-crazed little girl, I began riding at age 11. When I was 14, my mother’s co-worker purchased a horse hastily after only a few lessons and quickly realized she was in over her head. Eager to get more time in t...

25/11/2022

"Can a huge animal be sensitive? Well, the average horse weighs 50 million times more than the average fly, but immediately feels the pest settle on his body. A hypothetical human with that degree of sensitivity would feel the weight of five unseen dandelion seeds—something real humans can't do. ⁣⁣
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Trained horses can detect from two yards away a nod of the human head that measures only 8/1000 of an inch in displacement. That's two-and-a-half times more susceptible to visual displacement than we are. Faced with the same nod, humans wouldn't even know it had occurred. ⁣⁣
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One more statistic: at the withers, a horse can detect 3/10,000 of an ounce of pressure from one nylon filament—the weight of about three grains of sand. Poke the same filament into a human fingertip, and we have no idea it's there. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
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With this level of sensitivity, horses notice the difference between 1 inch of shoulder movement and 2 inches. And they're trying to figure out what it means." 📚 Horse Brain, Human Brain⁣⁣⁣
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25/11/2022

The demands of jumping on a 4 year olds body, before full development, no doubt will have contributed to Rios back issues and damage.

25/11/2022

Emiliano the vet and I were constantly working to try and help Rio manage the deterioration to his back. A series of treatments including steroid injections, Irap (stemcell) and very expensive bone density injections were given. At the start of Nov 21, Rio also started to receive a daily Equicox tablet to manage any pain and inflammation. I had started to see less flexion in his off hind hock, as a result of the fused SI joint, and when Catherine came to do Masterson on him, he 'showed' this area to be problematic. Some people think that retiring a horse means less work, but actually it's the opposite as they have usually been retired for a reason, so now you have to try to train your eye and mind to notice any subtle signs of discomfort and pain.

25/11/2022

It was becoming clear to me that Rio was becoming increasingly more worried about his environment, maybe Puzzle wasn’t the calming influence that Kestrel and little Splash had been. I also witnessed two events that were deeply worrying whereby seemingly without reason Rio turned on Puzzle and attacked her. On both occasions I was there to diffuse the situation but they left me worrying about why a horse would suddenly attack another, its not something that horses are known to do, being a prey species. On one occasion the attack took me off my feet, leaving me rather bruised and battered. In this video you can see Rio's worried eye, and Puzzle quickly moving out of the way. We had an issue in the field of careless dog walkers letting their dogs stray into the field, and on one occasion a pair of huge Russian Dobermans came in with the sole intention to attack, and were smashed to the ground by Rio. Was this is source of his increasing stress though?

25/11/2022

Rio and Puzzle during the last few days at Wood Farm

25/11/2022

After a number of fasle starts and viewing companion horses that I instinctively knew wouldn't get on with Rio, I called Blue Acre Horse Rescue in Old Windsor. I'd donated rugs to them in the past so when I called and explained my situation they invited me over to take a look at their 52 strong herd and see if there was a suitable friend there for Rio. I ended up choosing Puzzle, a 13hh aged roan/grey mare, My decision was based really on her rather jaded and curmudgeonly demeanour, and thus my yard owner and me loaded a rather reluctant (read terrible loader) into the trailer and home to Rio.

25/11/2022

Kestrel and Rio shared the field at Wood Farm for 6 months, and I think that they were the most happy there that they have ever been. After Kestrel passed, it took Rio some time to get over the loss of his friend. Little Splashy, borrowed from my yard owner was the perfect little companion for Rio at this time. I was amazed at how well they got on and the respect that this little old fellow demanded from Rio.

I think Kestrel was probably the first horse that Rio had ever been turned out with, he bonded with him very closely and Kestrel was the perfect companion for him. I knew I had to find Rio a new permanent companion for Rio, and due to his past issues this wasn't going to be easy. Rio had shown aggression to other horses, particularly other geldings in the past and I knew I needed an older horse, with a been there done that attitude.

25/11/2022

But as usual and especially so with horses, all good things must come to an end. And so they did with Kestrel developing laminitis, a serious bladder infection, which I now know were the early signs of his body breaking down from cancer. Kestrel started to develop melanomas at the early age of 12. When I noticed the first signs of the swelling in his throat latch I knew that we were doomed. Early in 2020 I started to hear a roar, when his head was down to eat his feed, Bruce my vet scoped him and found a mass in his larynx. Against Bruce's advise I started Kestrel on a very expensive course of Oncept and I truly feel that this bought us our last six months together. But now in August 2021, during his last two weeks on earth Kestrel continued to decline and when he stopped pooing and started pawing and spilling his water source (a known sign of a physically distressed horse) Ellen, the vet in attendance found a huge tumour in his abdomen, and I decided there and then to let kestrel pass.
I have had experience of euthanising a horse in the field, during that time the horses with my mare Nush, barely looked up. This time Rio knew that his best friend had passed and was incredibly distressed. Because it all happened so quickly and Kestrels comfort was at the top of my mind, I didn't pay enough attention to Rio who was bereft. In this situation, with only two horses its very difficult, but in reterospect Rio should have been sedated.

23/11/2022

The year I spent looking after my horses in the field at Wood Farm, was one of the happiest of my life. My days bracketed by early morning visits and evening checks. I spent hours there every day clearing the field, pulling up ragwort and meditating and doing reiki with Rio and Kestrel in the peace and solitude that the space offered. My lifelong ambition to have my horses on their own land, was at last realised and it was every bit as good and satisfying as I'd imagined. 7 acres of good well-draining soil with natural shelter provided the horses with a varied and interesting landscape and Kestrel, who had been previously suffering with breathing issues and swollen limbs, had never looked better.