16/08/2023
This NEEDS to be said and although there are certainly men who need to hear this, I am speaking directly to female equestrians.
It is OKAY to end ANY professional equine related relationship if they make you uncomfortable. If your dealing with a trainer, clinician, farrier, veterinarian, chiropractor, hay supplier, etc gives you anxiety it is OKAY to end that relationship. Even, and let me stress this, even if their work is great.
You are paying money, often a lot of money, to have these professionals provide a service to you and to your animal. You deserve to be treated with respect. You should feel free to ask questions without being condescended to. You should be able to request more information without getting an eye roll or snarky remark. You should be able to comment on work quality and get a reasonable response.
If you are experiencing anxiety in these situations then it is very likely that your horse, an animal that is extremely sensitive to emotional cues, might also in turn become reactive. In these situations the horse is turning to YOU to be guided and if you are a ball of nerves because your provider isn’t respectful or talks down to you then your horse isn’t going to find comfort in this interaction. I have personally seen many cases where a ‘problem’ horse’s behaviors vanish after the owner finds a professional in whom they feel comfortable.
No, not every service provider is going to become your life long friend. That is fine. It is fine to have a strictly professional relationship. The emphasis is on PROFESSIONAL relationship. A professional is respectful, helpful, and courteous in addition to being knowledge in their area of expertise. A professional makes a safe space for you to expand your understanding of the equine world.
A provider who is explosive in language or actions is not professional. A provider who uses demeaning language or innuendo is not professional. And their work can be absolutely incredible and you don’t have to continue using them.
As a trainer who works with challenging and green horses I understand the importance of stressing to owners, especially new owners, that they need work with their horses to make them safe for professionals to handle. I always encourage owners to reach out and learn as much as they can and create a safe place for providers to work. It is perfectly reasonable for a professional to end a client relationship if they feel unsafe working with your animal. But that is another conversation altogether.
What I really want to get across is that you don’t need a final straw, a last outburst, one more rude comment, or one more tirade for you to end a professional relationship. Being uncomfortable, not feeling heard, and being demeaned are reason enough to cut ties. As we all know, money talks. If we want to start feeling valued in the equine world we can start by spending our money with professionals who value us. They are out there. You will feel the difference in yourself and most likely see it in your animal.
