07/11/2024
There are dog owners and there are dog parents.
You hear a lot about how dog parents aren’t the same as human parents, because they can’t truly understand caring for someone so much.
Let me tell you that no one thinks loving a child is on the same level as loving a dog.
But you can parent a dog. You can love them with your whole heart. Your heart can be filled with so much love that it aches at times.
You bathe them, and make a game out of drying them off always sneaking in kisses as they make a mess in your bathroom, all the while not minding because you love these sweet nuggets. You read all of the nutrition facts and research the best food for them and always ensure they have more than enough, even though there are cheaper less-nutritional options.
You train them. You teach them how to eat, how to play, how to be potty-trained, and feel a pit in your stomach when you have to chastise them for not following the rules.
You plan trips or days away based on who will watch them, sometimes foregoing extended trips because you know you won’t be able to stand being away from them that long. And you love showing them off to people, and brag about them as you proudly display pictures of them to family or strangers, while equally feeling guilty they are not with you. You boast on any of their talents and how smart and gorgeous they are.
You allow yourself to sleep in multiple contorted positions as they sprawl all over your bed because their comfort is more important than your own, and it melts your heart to see them so comfortably sleeping knowing they are feeling safe and secure with you.
You do without other things in life, because you would rather spend your money on your family, and they are your family. You plan Christmas presents for them, birthday parties, and thoughtfully pick out each toy you think they would love.
You take them to the vet on time, because the thought of them being sick breaks your heart. And when they are sick, you rush them to the vet or the hospital because you cannot bear seeing them in pain or discomfort, not even asking for the numbers as you force over your credit card into the receptionist’s hand.
And you exhaust all options to keep them healthy. You demand any test be done to diagnose and treat anything that could possibly be wrong. You fight with insurance to see what all can be covered.
And when you are told the worst news, that no matter how much you pay, where you travel, or what doctor sees them, that there is no curing them this time, your heart shatters. It shatters into pieces and your world turns dark. You look into their eyes that have only known kindness and compassion, and you have to make the decision. No one else gets to but you. You have to decide that when the time comes, and it always comes too soon, that they will not be in pain or suffer. They are your dependents. You chose to look after them. You chose to be there for them.
In their last moments, you’re there with them. You hold them. You feel regret, anxiety, dread, and fear floods your entire body. You want to scream, but you don’t. Instead you look in their eyes and kiss their head, making sure your face…their favorite thing in the whole world, is the last thing they see, as they snuggle up with their favorite blanket.
You finally unleash all of your emotion. You sit there screaming and crying, not caring how many people around you hear your pain.
You stay until the vet comes back again and you plead and beg that the staff are gentle.
And you grieve. You cry a lot. You cry in the middle of the night. You look through pictures and videos that initially make you happy, but leave you feeling cheated and empty all over again.
And you learn to live without them. You learn to think back on memories and not break down. You grow to appreciate their time in your life and are truly thankful of the type of person you turned into caring for them.
Is parenting a dog the same as parenting a human? I don’t believe anyone truly thinks that. Losing a human child would have to be the hardest, most difficult thing a parent could ever endure. No, a dog is not the same as a human. No, the loss is nowhere on the same spectrum. No, the relationship could never be the same.
But sometimes some people belittle others for calling themselves a dog-parent. All I think is that those people haven’t had the privilege of being connected with one of the world’s most loving, genuine, happy, and devoted creatures. And I hope one day they get to experience that kind of relationship, because despite the loss that we inevitably encounter, it is one of the most rewarding experiences.
