Skill Up my Pup

18/01/2025

16/01/2025

Accidental attachment ‘parenting’

Taking on a tiny 6 day old puppy unintentionally taught me a great deal about attachment and how crucial secure attachments are for our dogs’ emotional health.

It’s pretty easy to meet our dogs physical needs and that was even quite easy with a tiny puppy- she needed feeding, she needed help toileting and she needed to be kept warm.

It was apparently straight away that meeting these physical needs and leaving her on a heat pad in a pen was in no way going to meet her emotional needs. It’s not just warmth that puppies need, it’s physical contact with a living being. Heat pads, fake heart beats in toys etc for a solo puppy, just doesn’t do it. She was more settled and content in close physical contact- she preferred with me but any other human or dog would do. She wanted to be next to skin and near a heartbeat, at all times and so that’s where she stayed, for as long as she needed it.

The option of close physical contact with someone they are attached to is such a basic need. I’m sure most of us remember hearing about the awful Harlow experiments where monkey babies had the choice of a wire ‘mother’ (with milk) or a soft, cloth ‘mother’ and would choose the soft mother even at the expense of milk, such is that basic need.

I have children and it felt so similar to when my kids were tiny babies too. I certainly didn’t deny them a need to be near me and I didn’t with this tiny puppy either. When they are developmentally ready (human babies and tiny puppies), they choose to be more independent from you and they spread their wings.

Of course it’s not just about the need for physical contact anyway when they are tiny- it’s about the need to feel safe too and that’s a fundamental need that must be met.

When puppies go into new homes at 8 weeks old they don’t suddenly stop having this need for physical contact and to feel safe near a living being. They go from feeling safe near to mum and siblings to being totally dependent on their new human family. It breaks my heart to think of them relegated to a crate in a kitchen. Of course they stop crying after a couple of nights as they give up any hope that anyone will help them. It certainly doesn’t help them to feel safe and secure in the world.

The same goes for an adult rescue dog who has often suffered so much upheaval and broken attachments along the way and who needs more than anything to just feel safe and secure and to have a bond with someone. This need for connection is a basic need that must be met, the same as being fed and watered.

I know people worry that if you ‘pander’ to them and give them lots of company they will become clingy or overly dependant but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Letting them develop a secure attachment results in resilient and confident individuals who feel safe in the world.

I see so many clients who’ve had awful advice and who have been told that their dog has behavioural issues as they are too nice to them, love them too much etc. it’s all absolute rubbish and they won’t turn into a monster if you meet their needs for safety, it’s quite the opposite and you help them to develop to their full potential ❤️

Laura McAuliffe, Dog Communication 2024

04/01/2025

I absolutely adore these two’s relationship…

30/12/2024

06/12/2024

Unpopular opinion: Dogs should not be obedient.

That, from me, a behaviourist and trainer.

I wish people would remember that dogs are not robots.

They are not here to do your bidding.

No animal is.

They are not your employees.

Nor are they your belongings.

They are sentient beings.

They are living, breathing creatures with wants, needs, emotions, dislikes and feelings of their own.

You should treat them as your family. When family has a problem, you help them with it.

Family doesn’t have to be obedient.

Family is loved and understood.

Family joins in and does stuff together.

Use games, rewards and Fun Not Fear® to teach them a better way.

Welcome to a much better life with your dog.

30/11/2024

Did you know that training scentwork can have multiple benefits for your dog? 👃

Scent is such a HUGE part of your dog's life, with their 300 million olfactory receptors to our mere 6 million, and the part of their brain dedicated to scent being 40 times larger than our own. So it isn't surprising that scentwork can have a impact on our dogs behaviour.

It has previously been stated scentwork is calming for dogs, and helps create a positive bias (boosting confidence), but this latest study done at Aberystwyth University has shown it can also increase inhibitory control (self-control) and persistance in repeating rewarded behaviour!

So how can you put a little extra scentwork into your dogs life? Here are a few ideas...

🔸 Let your dog sniff whilst out on walks! This is your dog's equivalent to reading the newspaper, or even going on social media, and the only way they can find out what is going on in the outside world. Although sniffing every two steps may be a bit excessive, do make sure you aren't dragging them along past their favourite sniffing spots and maybe even point out some sniffing spots you think could be particularly good.

🔸 Use a snuffle mat or scatter feed their food! Sniffing is an inherently calming activity for most dogs AND dogs are natural foragers, so sniffing-out their food amongst long grass, or in a snuffle mat, is a great outlet for this behaviour that can even help calm more excitable dogs. You can also add a cue to this behaviour, like with any, so that they are only looking for food on the ground when you say it will be there.

🔸 Play 'Find it' games! You can hide treats, toys and even people for your dog to sniff out, which could come in handy later down-the-line when your keys go missing!

🔸 Create a 'scent-box'! If you go out somewhere, either with or without your dog, try and pick-up different objects from your time out. You can then offer up these objects to your dog later to sniff, so they can either re-live their adventure, or learn about your day.

Let us know what fun ways you incorporate scent into your dog's life!

You can check out the study mentioned in the graphic for yourself here: https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/14/3/428

15/11/2024

08/11/2024

𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩.

Yesterday a passer by at the park felt the need to pass loud judgement on a dog I was working with when they were having a 'moment'. It wasn't kind, it wasn't helpful and it wasn't necessary.

Something I often hear from clients is how aware they are of the judgement of others when they are out with their dogs.

If their dog is lunging, barking or otherwise seen as behaving 'badly', they feel the weight of strangers' eyes on them. Sometimes the judgment is just an eye roll or a tut....sometimes it's more explicit - being shouted or sworn at. Either way they feel shamed and embarrassed.

I can say, almost certainly, that those doing the shaming have never had a reactive dog themselves. They have never had to deal with not getting the dog they hoped for. Never had to walk their dog at the crack of dawn or late at night in an attempt to avoid other people. Never felt their heart sink when something unexpected happens and their best laid plans go wrong. Never felt the mixed emotions of embarrassment, sadness and frustration when their dog kicks off yet again. Never cried when they've had to abandon another walk. Never felt dread at the sound of "it's ok...he's friendly". Never felt the pressure to correct their dog because they need to be seen to be 'doing something'.

For those feeling judged remember that other people's opinions affect you only as much as you let them. Take a deep breath, shake it off and move on. Easier said than done at first but, like any skill, it gets easier with practice. Don't compare your dog to others. No two dogs are the same and, as the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. Ditch the shame. It's corrosive and toxic. Do the best you can in any situation and seek help if you need it. If you do that no one can ask more of you. And know that you're not alone. For every eye roll you receive there's probably also someone who's watching sympathetically because they've been there.

And if you've caught yourself eye rolling and tutting and rushing to judgement try to put yourself in that person's shoes. No one enjoys being the person with 'that' dog. It's never what people planned and they are generally trying their best in a bad situation. When you see a reactive dog kicking off know that, in that moment, both the dog and its owner are having a hard time and ask yourself whether a critical comment from you is going to make things better for anyone?

Being the owner of a reactive dog is hard enough. Let's not make it any harder.

05/11/2024

Occasionally someone pops along here with the idea that I have no practical experience with dogs, couldn't handle a working dog and that's why I don't understand why 'tools' are needed for some dog breeds.

I was in a bite suit and operationally searching for live explosives with dogs decades ago. Working breeds are easier to train with positive reinforcement because they are literally born to work. Dogs don't need prong collars - poor trainers do - because they haven't learned or skilled up enough.

And if you can't teach a companion breed to volunteer something, by using a marker, you have a long way to go with your training. I would say you're not a dog trainer, because that's brain work. A prong collar is not brain work.

If you think you need to expose an innocent dog to a prong collar you don't. You need to learn more.

It really is as simple as that.

And here endeth the lesson.

All dogs deserve safety.

It's a welfare right.

Don't poke the bear.

I am the bear 🐻😅

05/11/2024

The only thing I’d like to add regarding her comments on Anthropomorphizing:

As long as a dog, an amoral animal whose behaviour is merely communication is not held up to the standards we expect of a moral human being and as long as their behaviour is not misinterpreted while giving them human qualities, there’s nothing wrong with anthropomorphizing.

I think these are the only worries as people hold dogs accountable, assigning them guilt, accountability, responsibility and some human emotions like grudge, assuming intentional harm

Let’s Talk About Bad Advice: Why Your Dog Needs Your Comfort and Attention 🐾

Unfortunately, I’ve been seeing some advice circulating in dog groups that suggests we should distance ourselves from our dogs in certain ways: don’t talk to your dog too much, don’t fuss them too often, don’t let them follow you around, don’t let them sit next to you, and don’t comfort them when they’re anxious. All of this, apparently, is to avoid “anthropomorphising.”

Let’s take a step back and talk about why this advice is so misguided.

Dogs Thrive on Communication

Talking to your dog isn’t just harmless—it’s incredibly beneficial! Dogs are social creatures who understand more than we often give them credit for. Verbal communication can help dogs feel grounded, connected, and secure. When we narrate, chat, or gently guide them with our words, it becomes part of a shared language that helps them understand what’s happening in their world.

Fussing Isn’t a Crime—It’s Connection

When our dogs seek out a pat or a cuddle, it’s natural to respond! Fussing over your dog, showing affection, and sharing these moments is part of a healthy, loving relationship. Dogs are emotional beings; they feel joy, curiosity, and contentment. Responding to their need for closeness reinforces your bond and helps them feel secure.

Comfort in Times of Anxiety

One of the most damaging pieces of advice out there is to ignore your dog when they’re anxious. In moments of distress, dogs benefit enormously from reassurance. Comforting them when they’re nervous or frightened doesn’t “reinforce” fear—it simply helps them feel safe and supported. Ignoring a dog’s anxiety can create unnecessary emotional stress, leading them to feel isolated and unsupported. Comforting them, on the other hand, can build resilience over time and encourage a calm, secure mindset.

Is Anthropomorphising Really a Problem?

The fear of anthropomorphising—assigning human characteristics to dogs—often leads to this kind of hands-off advice. But the truth is, dogs share many of the same emotions as we do. They have similar brain structures that process emotions, allowing them to feel joy, fear, and love. While there are, of course, some limitations, empathising with our dogs doesn’t create problems; it builds connection and understanding. Treating our dogs with kindness, empathy, and respect for their emotions aligns more with who they are than trying to keep them at arm’s length.

The Bottom Line

Respecting your dog’s emotional needs—through communication, affection, and comfort—won’t make them “clingy” or “demanding.” It’s a foundation for a healthy, trust-based relationship. Our dogs depend on us, not just for food or exercise, but for emotional connection and reassurance. Let’s honour that bond by listening to their needs and being there for them, just as they are always there for us.

So, go ahead and talk to your dog, give them a fuss, and offer comfort when they need it. They deserve to feel valued, understood, and loved. 🐾💛

04/11/2024

🐾There are some methods that may seem logical on the surface, but can have unintended consequences when it comes to teaching dogs what we think is ‘good’ behaviour.

One common approach I’ve noticed people do is holding their dog by the collar and asking them to sit. If the dog doesn’t respond the owner pushes their bum down forcing them to sit. While it might seem like this gives you control, it can backfire by causing stress, anxiety, and worsening your dog’s behaviour – and it may also cause discomfort or pain by forcing them with your hand into the sit position.

Let me explain why physically holding a dog in place isn’t helpful and what you can do instead...

The Problem with Physical Restraint: It Increases Stress!

From the dog’s perspective, being held by the collar restricts their ability to make choices, particularly in situations they find stressful. Dogs naturally find ways to feel safe, and one of their primary coping strategies is to increase distance AWAY from something that feels like a threat. When you take away that option by physically restraining them, it can trigger stress and discomfort.

Imagine feeling cornered with no way to move – this is what many dogs experience when held tightly. The more restricted they feel, the higher their stress levels can become.

🔴Loss of Control Fuels Anxiety and Reactivity...

Just like humans, dogs feel more secure when they have control over their interactions. When a dog loses that control—especially in the presence of a trigger, like a strange person or another dog—it can lead to heightened anxiety.

This anxiety can manifest as reactivity, such as barking, growling, or lunging. What looks like 'bad behaviour' to us is often a dog’s way of expressing that they feel overwhelmed and unsafe.
In these moments, holding your dog still adds fuel to the fire. They’re already stressed, and now they have no way to escape the situation. This makes them more likely to react aggressively or develop a pattern of reactivity in the future.

🔴The Impact of Blocking Natural Coping Behaviours...

Dogs have their own natural coping strategies, including moving or looking away from the trigger (avoidance), sniffing the ground, yawning, shake-off, pacing, or licking their lips to self-soothe. These actions help them regulate their emotions and feel safer. But when we stop them from engaging in these behaviours by holding them by the collar, we remove the tools they need to manage their stress.

This sense of being trapped can escalate fear or frustration, leading to an even stronger reaction. If a dog feels they have no way out, their behaviour can quickly spiral, creating more long-term issues.

🔴Adding to Their Vulnerability...

When you hold a dog in place physically, you increase their sense of vulnerability. They now have two things to worry about—the trigger they were already reacting to and the fact that they can’t move. Even dogs with a generally friendly temperament can start feeling defensive when restrained, especially if they’ve had negative experiences in the past.

This is why some dogs may bark, snap, or lunge even more intensely when held by the collar. Their behaviour isn’t about disobedience—it’s a desperate attempt to protect themselves from what feels like a threatening situation.

🟢Positive Alternatives of What to Do Instead…

Rather than relying on physical restraint and forcing a sit give your dog distance AWAY from the trigger. Allowing them space helps de-escalate a potentially tense situation and helps them feel safer, reducing the chances of a reactive response.

Gradually expose your dog to their triggers from a comfortable distance—far enough that they notice the trigger but don’t react. This isn’t about your dog focusing on you; instead, you want them to visually engage with the trigger and calmly process it. When they stay relaxed while observing, reward them to build positive associations. Over time, this helps reduce their reactivity.

A well-fitted ‘Y’ shaped harness with a handle allows you to guide your dog gently without restricting their movement. It’s a safer and more comfortable alternative to holding their collar - which also puts pressure on the oesophagus and trachea.
helping
Training your dog isn’t about control—it’s about teaching them how to navigate the world with confidence and helping your dog develop the coping skills they are missing. Physical restraint, such as holding them by the collar, may seem like a quick fix, but it can actually undermine your training efforts and your dog’s trust in you.

If you're having difficulty managing a highly reactive dog, seek out a qualified force-free trainer in your area who uses science-based methods.

10/09/2024

Forcing a dog to ‘face their fears’ and taking away their control over their own movement is probably not a good idea as the risk of creating a negative learning experience becomes very high.

Luring a fearful dog with food can sometimes work out fine and can sometimes help a dog realize that an object is safe, but it can also create feelings of inner conflict and some dogs will suddenly startle. I would never advise anyone to lure a fearful dog into meeting other animals (including humans) as this can become very risky. Once the food has been eaten, the dog may freak out in being too close and suddenly react with defensive responses.

Offering space, time and social support is my preferred option. Having the freedom, time and space to decide for themselves whether or not to explore and allowing them to process information at their own pace can boost the self-confidence of a dog. Being there for your dog and offering social support can reduce stress and fearfulness. You can be your dog's safe space🥰

© LotsDogs​ | www.WelfareBased.com

Copyright notice | Support my page and show some love❤️
Help me reach more people! Please share my image using the 'share' button (you can share in groups, on your business page, on your timeline, etc..all possible through the 'share' options). This is highly appreciated!🥰💞
Please do not download/save my content on your device and upload my work elsewhere. This diminishes my ability to reach people.📵 Many thanks for understanding.

08/09/2024

Experts are right!