27/11/2020
Before you get your first puppy, take this test to find out if you can cope with living and looking after your puppy
Best taken in the autumn or mid-winter.
1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
3. Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet 😊
4. Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
5. Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
6. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
7. Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
8. Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
9. Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
10. Jump out of your favourite chair just before the movie ends and run to open back door
11. Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
12. Take £70 a month and set it on fire. This is your pet insurance.
13. Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs.
14. Set fire to another £60. This is uneaten food, chewed up toys and wasted treats.
15. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home.
16. Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
17. Always go home straight after work or school
18. Go walkies no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find.
19. Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
Repeat every day over 6 months and if you still think getting puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready to get your puppy 😂😂😂😂