Loving Presence with Horses

13/02/2025

Watching my horse, Tai, chow down on hay is a special time to connect. ⁣
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🐴❤️ He may want to eat more, but Making sure he stays fit means I’m looking out for his happiness and health. ⁣
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Every bite is creates a sweet melody to me! ⁣
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11/02/2025

If your horse pulls and leans on the reins more often than not, You probably find it hard to sit up straight, you get pulled forward, and your arms get tired.

To fix it, I bet you’ve Tried:
- Riding with soft hands
- Using a different bit or bridle
- Loosening or tightening your reins

Want your horse to stop pulling? Get my free gift: Type “no pull” in the comments to get your Rein Awareness Exercise to get started!!

05/02/2025

Sharing a deep breath around you horse - it brings you into the present moment where connecting with your horse is sweet.

04/02/2025

Nothing beats a peaceful walk to the barn to see my horses! Every step strengthens the connection in my heart. 🐴💛

31/01/2025

🐴✨ January flew by, and those New Year’s resolutions? If you’re like me, some might already be gathering dust. But what if there’s a better way to connect with your horse without the pressure of big goals?⁣
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Discover how small, everyday habits can transform your relationship and bring deeper trust and joy. 💖 No more lofty promises—just genuine, lasting change.⁣
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👉 Curious? Check out my latest blog and start making meaningful strides with your horse today: http://lovingpresencewithhorses.com/forget-new-years-resolutions/
Let’s make this year truly special, one small step at a time. 🌟⁣.

The start of a new year often brings a wave of resolutions. “This year, I’ll be more disciplined,” or “I’ll connect more deeply with my horse.” It’s easy to believe that one bold commitment can create a big change. But when it comes to relationships with horses, those grand intentions

30/01/2025

𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗿 “𝗙𝗹𝗮𝘁” 𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲⁣
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If riding has become predictable and stale—even though you love your horse and have decent skills—then I guarantee you might be doing one or more of these:⁣
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1. You stick to the same patterns or drills almost every time you ride.⁣
2. Repeating the same training techniques, expecting different results.⁣
3. You use exercises that other people have shown you (maybe even on youtube). ⁣
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𝗔𝗺 𝗜 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁?⁣
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If you’re doing any one of these things in your riding routine, then I guarantee you’re experiencing:⁣
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1. 𝗕𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗮𝘀𝗺, feeling like each session is just going through the motions.⁣
2. 𝗔 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 with your horse, as the routine becomes more about repetition than interaction.⁣
3. 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝘂𝗻, making the riding experience less enjoyable for both you and your horse.⁣
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For over 35 years, we’ve helped hundreds of people have fun make solid progress with their horse without the horse or rider ever getting bored. If you think you’re someone we could help, private message me and tell me what’s going on.⁣.

28/01/2025

𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗯𝗹𝘆:⁣
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• Repeating the same requests even when your horse is confused or unresponsive.⁣
• Trying to move to the next step too quickly without solidifying the foundation.⁣
• Feeling stuck when your horse doesn’t offer the behavior you’re expecting.⁣
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𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁:⁣
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• Timing your reward precisely when your horse shows the desired effort.⁣
• Paying attention to how your own body language might confuse or overwhelm your horse.⁣
• Watching for subtle signals, like your horse shifting their attention back to you, before asking for more.⁣
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For over 35 years, we’ve helped hundreds of people connect so deeply with their horse that their horse is eager and prompt to their aids. If you think you’re someone we could help, private message me and tell me what’s going on.⁣

23/01/2025

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗛𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲’𝘀 𝗛𝘂𝗴⁣
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There’s something about hugging a horse that’s unlike anything else in the world. It’s not just the warmth of their body or the solid strength of their presence—it’s the way they make you feel 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳.⁣
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In that moment, you’re not just another person in their day. They’re choosing to let you in, their breath warm on your cheek, their head lowering into your arms.⁣
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Sure, hugging a close friend can be comforting in its own way, but there’s something uniquely reassuring about the way a horse connects without words. No expectations, no pretense—just a shared moment of understanding.⁣
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And when a horse kisses you? It’s pure magic. You feel on top of the world, as if they’ve chosen you in a way that transcends logic. It’s as if they’re saying, “I see you, and I appreciate you.”⁣
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Some of you might have felt this with a dog’s sloppy kiss, where you can’t help but laugh and feel special all at once, or when a cat curls up in your lap, purring as if the world has narrowed to just the two of you.⁣
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It’s these moments of connection, with no strings attached, that fill your soul in ways you didn’t even know you needed. It’s the kind of presence and love that’s simple but profound.⁣

21/01/2025

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥—𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⁣
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𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞—𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮—𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞:⁣
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1. 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 even though you’re unsure inside whether your horse likes you⁣
2. Pretending you’re confident when inside you aren’t⁣
3. 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 with the same aids, even when your horse isn’t responding, because you’re not really sure what else to do⁣
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Am I right?⁣
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𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐞...⁣
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1. 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞—smiling even when you don’t feel like it⁣
2. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫—𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐬—𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫⁣
3. 𝐂𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 short or not bothering to say anything because you’re convinced no one really wants to hear you anyway.⁣
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If that sounds familiar, I guarantee you’re feeling a big dose of 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, along with a lingering thought: “Am I really seen by anyone?” ⁣
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For over 35 years, I’ve helped hundreds of people connect so deeply with their horse that they feel truly seen—and that connection transforms the way they ride and the way their horse responds. If you think you are someone we can help, send me a PM and tell me what’s going on.⁣

16/01/2025

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮

I recently went to the HDJC show, curious to see what this new organization was like. Out of all the riders and horses, one pair really caught my attention. I didn’t catch their names, but they left an impression I won’t forget.

They weren’t flashy or dramatic, but they had something truly special. The steady rhythm of the horse’s hoofbeats, the smooth and prompt canter departs—it wasn’t just about following cues. It was more than that. There was a sense of ease, like horse and rider were quietly in sync, moving together in perfect harmony.

That kind of partnership doesn’t just happen. It comes from being fully present, paying attention to the little things, and letting the connection between you and your horse grow naturally. Watching them reminded me how mindfulness isn’t just about stillness or meditation—it’s about being truly there, in the moment, whether you’re riding, training, or simply spending time with your horse.

When we approach our horses this way, it’s no longer just about the performance we’re trying to achieve—it’s about building a relationship that feels real, natural, and deeply fulfilling.

15/01/2025

𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐃𝐉𝐂 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧. https://fb.me/e/7zWvsh4aF

At the United Dressage and Jumping Club show, I had such a nice surprise—I ran into Jessica, a former student I hadn’t seen in years. I was walking down the lane, looking for her and her new horse, when I suddenly heard her call out, “Miss MaryKay!”

We didn’t have much time to catch up since she was warming up for her class, but it was so great to see her and remember all the time we spent working together. Moments like that remind me of the connections we build and how they stay with us, even after years apart.

Jessica’s new horse is absolutely gorgeous, and it was wonderful to see them together. I hope next time we’ll get a chance to talk more—it’s always special to reconnect

08/01/2025

One moment can completely change your life! For me, that moment happened on an elevator at Clicker Expo when I met Karen Pryor. I was a bit starstruck, but she was very kind and encouraging. She suggested I sign up for the new dog training program at Karen Pryor Academy, and really, that conversation changed everything for me.
I ended up graduating with distinction from Karen Pryor Academy for Animal Training and Behavior, and what I learned there has shaped everything I do—not just with dogs but with horses and cats and other animals, too (including humans!). Karen’s approach to positive reinforcement opened my eyes to new ways of connecting with and understanding animals.
Her impact on the world is just immeasurable. Karen inspired so many of us to see animals in a new light, to communicate with them with clarity and kindness. I’ll always be grateful for that elevator ride and for everything she shared with the world.
She’ll be deeply missed, but her legacy lives on in all the lives she touched—human and animal alike.

With profound sadness and immense gratitude, we honor the life and legacy of Karen Pryor, a true pioneer in the fields of animal behavior and positive reinforcement training. Karen’s groundbreaking work revolutionized how we communicate with animals—and each other—leaving an indelible mark on ...

01/12/2024

Most people think that to connect with their horse, you need to try to connect.
It makes sense at first—when something feels off, the natural response is to lean in and work harder to create those moments of harmony. You might focus on getting your horse to respond, feeling like if you just try the right approach, the connection will happen.
But does this always work? Does pushing for connection lead to those deeper moments every time?
Connection actually begins in noticing when your horse is disconnected, when your horse looks away, hesitates, or pulls on the reins. Those aren’t failures or roadblocks; they’re messages directly from your horse to listen to. By noticing these moments, you can start to see where your horse is coming from. If you don’t understand your horse’s perspective—what they’re feeling or thinking—the connection you’re trying to create won’t fully come through..
If you don’t learn to recognize disconnection, you might find yourself stuck. You’ll keep trying harder, wondering why it’s not working, or feeling like you’re missing something. The harder you push, the more frustrating it can feel—for you and your horse. And those little miscommunications can pile up, creating distance and undesirable behaviors instead of the closeness you want.
Is trying to connect really working every single time?
Have you noticed moments where it just doesn’t seem to click, no matter what you do?
What’s the most often way your horse disconnects with you?

For over 40 years, we’ve been helping riders get past the roadblocks of their horse disconnecting and misbehaving.
If you think you're someone we could help, pm me to schedule a free deep dive hand holding call about your horse's disconnecting behaviors.

17/11/2024

Being attuned to every detail of your animal’s signals isn’t just overthinking—it’s deeper awareness. If this resonates with you, learn more - pm me!

30/10/2024

Ever feel like you can’t quite find that effortless connection with your horse in the saddle? Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can’t get into the flow. In my latest blog, I dive into how simple time with your dog can actually be the key to riding more connected and relaxed. Read more here: How Hanging Out with Your Dog Can Help You Ride in the Flow

The more you tune into your dog’s presence, the more you'll notice how it carries over into the saddle with your horse. Learning mindfulness with a dog can make you a better, more connected dressage rider.

13/09/2024

How you hold the reins reflects the quality of your connection with your horse, especially with dressage.

Have you ever noticed when your hands are soft and mindful, you have more harmony with your horse? Have you noticed how when you feel tense, your hands also get tense and then your horse feels disconnected and sometimes even resistant?

When your horse is tense and bracing against the reins, the cause could be your horse—or it might be how you’re holding the reins. If you're gripping too tightly or carrying tension, your horse will often reflect that back in their response. Your reins are an extension of your energy, your thoughts, and your presence.

When you are mindful of how you hold your reins, it's an invitation to your horse to join you in a mutual partnership of trust and understanding. What if the reins could be a bridge to harmony?

29/08/2024

In the present moment, it doesn’t matter whether your horse is a Grand Prix dressage horse or a green rescue of unknown breeding. It doesn’t matter whether you are new to dressage or a seasoned FEI competitor. What matters is that we accept each other and listen and truly hear each other, responding to each other with as much empathy and understanding as we can muster in each present moment.

27/08/2024

Brushing your dressage horse while grooming can create harmony and connection in the dressage arena or can create a barrier to harmony and connection in the arena.
If your horse does any of the following, your harmony in the arena could be compromised:
🐴Standing perfectly still with no expression when you groom
🐴Moving around and restless while you try to groom
🐴Pinning their ears when you brush certain spots
You probably are
🪮Grooming your horse with cleanliness in mind
🪮Looking closely at the dirty spots while brushing or currying
🪮Thinking about getting the grooming done so you can ride
What to do to foster harmony and connection that carries forth into the riding arena: 🌟be mindful of how you hold the brush and how you touch the brush to different areas. 🌟 Every stroke is an opportunity to strengthen your horse’s response when you get on and ride.
In over 35 years of teaching biomechanical conditioning, mindfulness and positive reinforcement for dressage, we’ve helped thousands of riders experience harmony and connection. If you think you could be someone we could help, DM me. I may have something to help.