Duke the Puke

02/03/2023

Hold my beer

The power of penguin poo! 💬 Did anyone here know this? https://bit.ly/41qxBHq

09/02/2023

09/02/2023

S**t... I'm still in the basement. Every time I think I am going to wake up upstairs. I've hardly meowed. It's been two weeks, every minute I'm down here, upstairs gets more sanitary. The floors are cleaner, as clean as they've ever been, the traces of s**t stains on the carpet are gone. The walls are moving in a little tighter. Everything I've worked for is fading away. Every minute I'm down here I get weaker, and the floors upstairs remain cleaner...

30/12/2022

30/12/2022

I was born with with 6 toes on each of my front paws because God wanted me to have two middle fingers to tell you all to f**k off with. **t

25/12/2022

Merry Xmas, people. I left a present downstairs by the shoes.

24/12/2022

It's good to take a s**t right next to the littler box every once in a while. Just to let these humans know that I'm aware of where you'd like to me to s**t. But, I'm the one calling the s**ts around here, motherf**ker!

24/12/2022

Sometimes I wonder who's side my brother is even on. This p***y seems perfectly content with s**tting in a cold, dark sandbox and doesn't even try to escape. I wish Fat Frank would have a little more damn self respect.

24/12/2022

Ya, the reaction you get from a human who steps in your s**t barefoot is nice, but to get the maximum effect, it's best to get 'em with the shoes on. With the right pile, they can track it through the whole house before even realizing it. AND cleaning the shoe is way more of a pain in the ass than wiping it off the foot. 💩☠️ This is a battle of attrition.

23/12/2022

As***le Cat Pro Tip: If your human hangs a bag from the ceiling that he punches and kicks over and over again. Take a nice big splatter s**t right underneath that bad boy. This is a battle of attrition.

23/12/2022

Nice Facebook Feed you have here, mind if i s**t all over it?

23/12/2022

As***le Cat Tip: To increase the chances of your humans stepping in your p**p, do it early in the morning when the light is low and they're not as alert. And do it in a path that cannot be avoided. I find the bottom of the stairs is an excellent area and I have had the most success there.