10/05/2024
I’m sad to let you know that Rudy died on 3 April 2024 aged 13 years and 9 months.
In late December ‘23 we spotted a sore on her abdomen which initially everyone thought was just a scab. Unfortunately it spread and ultimately our vet believed it was epitheliotropic lymphoma, a relatively rare form of skin cancer. We opted not to have evasive biopsies, so the diagnosis was based on elimination of other issues plus the way she presented.
For 3 months large doses of steroids kept her quality of life really good. She was her normal self, with no side effects bar an increased appetite. We opted not to try chemo due to her age and the limited prognosis. The cancer was spreading across her skin but we were able to prevent any infections and she had no clinical signs of illness. The photo below was taken 10 days before we lost her. She was running on the beach.
Easter weekend she appeared more tired than usual. We were due to see the vet on the Wednesday (we’d been having weekly appointments). On the Tuesday she came for a walk where she enjoyed a good roll, ran over to say hello to a random man she liked the look off, and ate plenty of treats. She ate her meals and greeted my husband when he came home, as usual. However, I felt something was a bit off and I knew we didn’t have much time left. My husband and I agreed we would speak to our vet the next day, but in all likelihood would contact one of the home euthanasia vets and make an appointment for a few days later as we didn’t want her to deteriorate. We knew things were close but it didn’t appear immediate.
That night I slept downstairs as I had done for much of the proceeding weeks, just in case she needed anything (she never did, but…). She was sleeping in the hallway amongst a pile of her cuddly toys. I laid next to her for some time talking to her as I did most nights, telling her how wonderful she was, how much we loved her and how thankful we were for having her in our lives. That night though for some reason I told her about all the dogs we knew who would ‘look after her’ when the time came, and that she wasn’t to worry. I named all the dogs. Personally I don’t believe in heaven/ rainbow bridge or a traditional afterlife BUT it felt right letting her know she’d be ok and that other dogs were ‘waiting’, including her beloved brother Memphis.
Eventually I went to lay on the sofa because the floor was too incomfortable. I spent a long time scrolling through very old photos and videos of her, and then I fell asleep. At some point during the night I heard her come in and get on her oldest bed (she had 4 to chose from). I heard her get comfy and I called out ‘good girl’ to her. I fell asleep again.
The next morning when I woke I assumed for some moments that she was deeply asleep in her bed. She looked normal, comfy. She had been sleeping deeper over the past months so initially I wasn’t concerned. Then I realised she wasn’t moving, called my husband and he came in and confirmed she had gently passed away. Even in that immediate moment we were smiling through our tears, because it was such a gentle, amazing end for this wonderful girl. Our plans had always been for her to die at home, but as it was, there was no stranger there as part of the process, she went on her own terms. My husband and I had a few hours with her before she could go to the undertakers. My Mum came around to say goodbye. The other 2 dogs could come in and see/ smell her so they knew. It was as perfect as any goodbye could ever hope to be and more than I could ever have hoped for. A final gift she gave US!
There have been so many tears in the weeks since but they are always followed by a smile at a happy or fun memory because we have SO many of those. We miss her every day and walks are especially hard because she is everywhere in all the varied walks we do. On each walk I leave a treat for her. That was the highlight of the walk for her and I’m not ready to give that up. Having the other 2 dogs is a comfort and means we have to ‘get on’.
It’s so hard to put into words what this girl meant to me. She changed my life. She came to us as a key point in my husband and mine’s relationship and we became a little family of 3. It’s hard for us to remember a time before her. She led to a whole career change for me, which in turn led to me making some good friends and learning lots. She was an amazing, big character- very funny, clever, cheeky but kind, SO very kind to all living creatures. Clear minded but gentle.
So goodbye my gorgeous, gorgeous Rudy. You will always be in my heart and I cannot thank you enough for staying with us for so many years and bringing us so much happiness and love. We were so lucky to have had all that extra time with you following your other medical issues.
I thank all the vets who have looked after Rudy over the years. Their knowledge, skills, care and compassion enabled us to have so much extra time with her. I also thank the insurance companies who meant we never had to make tough decisions.
Thank YOU for being part of her journey. I hope she has helped some of you. Please hug your dogs lots, tell them regularly how amazing they are and how much you love them. Stay positive when they are facing illness, Rudy’s life shows you CAN often live a long and brilliant life even after tough diagnosis.
X###xx
