11/03/2022
"This is not an easy dog," I reminded her, "but he will teach you a great deal."
Bones Would Rain from the Sky by Suzanne Clothier
Sometimes, when we invite a dog into our family, we end up with a very different dog from what we expected.
We might realize that the dog we chose is fearful, and needs us to help them learn that the world can be safe. The dog we bring home might be reactive when we go on walks, so the running buddy we had imagined might feel out of reach. It might be as simple as realizing that they are a unique individual, who through no fault of their own, is just nothing like the dog we recently lost.
Whatever the case, there are a few things we can keep in mind when we find ourself in this situation.
1) Train the dog in front of you.
The dog in front of you is the dog you have... instead of trying to make them into the vision you had for them, meet them where they are at, and go from there.
2) Find yourself a good support network, if you're finding it challenging.
Whether it's grief from a pet you lost and how different they were, an very boisterous adolescent dog, or a fearful or reactive dog you're trying to learn how best to manage... finding a support system for you, the human, is just as important as finding training for your dog!
I often recommend finding a positive reinforcement focused group class with dogs of similar ages for owners who are going through the adolescent phase. The training you learn there is helpful, but the important part, for me, is being around other humans going through the same puppy phase as you, and not being alone.
If a group class isn't an option, find a +R dog trainer, or friends with similar experiences, or both, who can support you as you go through this experience with your dog. It really, truly does help!
3) Remember the silver lining: If you have a dog who isn't an easy dog... they will likely teach you a great deal, in the time you learn and grow with them.
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