31/05/2023
It’s just a stare, it’s just a growl, it’s just pulling on the leash, it’s just blowing through the threshold, it’s just happy jumping and nipping, it’s just exploding at another dog, it’s just wanting to protect his food, it's just her favorite toy, it’s just that he’s tired and grumpy…
So many small moments where your dog was trying to figure out the lay of the land; who you “are” and what was possible. And without knowing, you told your dog precisely who you were and precisely what was possible.
Inevitably those small moments got bigger and bigger. The “ask” larger and more serious.
Eventually, somehow, you ended up with a dog who redirects/bites you when things on walks get serious. Eventually, you somehow ended up with a dog who resource guards their food or their toys or the couch or their personal space. Eventually, somehow you ended up with a dog who bites guests or perhaps you or family members whenever anyone breaks one of the unwritten rules your dog has passed into law.
The laws can be many, and new ones can be created spontaneously. Inevitably, they always seem to expand and become less tolerant and forgiving as time goes on.
You unknowingly built and began to climb a compliance ladder. By letting small moments go, you encouraged bigger moments to follow. And like clockwork, they surely did. And somehow, over time, life with your dog became something unwieldy, “unpredictable”, and dangerous.
Because instead of dismantling the ladder and creating clarity about who would create the rules and enforce them, you, yourself built it, and created a tyrant—one who you placed in power, and one you now have to work exceptionally hard to please and remain on their good, safe side.
The good news, you can still dismantle the ladder. But as we all know, it’s far harder attempting to dismantle that which is already built and firmly established. Far better to ensure it’s never built in the first place.