Private Thumper's War Journal

16/04/2021

Another thing that happened last year:
About 2 or 3 weeks after Yogi went MIA Mike decided to take his re****ed fat behind out on some kind of solo recon to try to find him, slipped out through the dog door and Bammm!!! Mike's missing for a few days. The old man ended up hobbling his broken self around the whole AO, in the rain for hours looking for him. He finally came back after about 3 or 4 days looking like hell. Claws were all chewed up, one was half pulled out... never in my career have I seen such a use of a soldiers primary service weapons. He ended up getting restricted to his quarters for a long time after that.

11/04/2021

So it's been a while..... let me tell you last year was insane. After Yogi was listed as MIA, things just weren't the same... and really still aren't. A new 'cruit was brought in to fill his spot but she is no Yogi. What she is, is, an anti social as***le... her name is Mila, like seriously who would name their kid that? When she first came into the base camp mike would have just as soon killed her as even looked at her, but he and Yogi were really tight, so I get it, who really wants to feel like their battle buddy just got replaced? And who is going to be willing to get all chummy with the replacement? Yogi and I weren't all that close anyway so I figured I would give the newbie a shot.

28/06/2020

Things to know about your feline soldiers: Part 1.
Our favorite sports are:
Hockey-have you ever batted an object around on a flat smooth surface while you chased it?
NASCAR-Running around in circles at breakneck speeds is awesome (Bonus if this is done at 0300 hrs).
Hunting- Hello, you get to eat the prize....
Bird watching- Okay this is mostly about fantasizing about hunting but still... birds are yummy.

12/05/2020

Private Yogi Bear has officially been listed as MIA. Private Yogi left for a patrol of the area surrounding FOB Bear last night at approximately 2000 hrs. He has missed his check-in and despite a coordinated and ongoing search he is still missing. The locals have been notified and will be on the look-out. We are hoping for his safe return, at which time he will be locked the hell up and not allowed outside the Basecamp ever again.

03/05/2020

Yogi went out on a patrol today and captured an enemy. He decided to bring the bird into the house for an interrogation, the commander was not pleased. I've never heard a scream like that in my life.... the bird did survive and was released, the lizard he had interrogated in our quarters earlier was not so fortunate.

29/03/2020

https://www.foxbusiness.com/money/coronavirus-medical-masks-produced-veteran-owned-brand

Fed up with slow medical supply production, Nine Line Apparel founder Tyler Merritt is self-funding mass produced masks to sell at driven-down prices.

18/03/2020

20/01/2020

Every time I begin to doubt the combat abilities of Privates Rocky and Liberty they surprise me. A giant menacing marsupial breached the perimeter and attempted to enter the motor pool bay.. I can only assume to perform some kind of sabotage. The indigenous infiltrator was captured by the two, usually cowardly, canines. The two disobedient dogs diligently played tug of war with the obstinate opossum until it was finally saved by the old man, who took pity on the poor beast and ushered it to safety outside the fence line. Yes he made sure it was not wounded too terribly to take care of itself (a mistake in my mind, personally I would have let them finish it off and rewarded them by turning it into stew for their supper). It was a big one though, the commander didn't even know they got that size. If I had to guess this was the same bastard who ambushed Yogi while he was on patrol and left him with a couple of puncture wounds... You should have seen him walking around 😂 with a patch on his back shaved 😂🤣🤣🤣... Hilarious... It wouldn't have been as funny if he had been seriously hurt, but wow, he looked ridiculous... Anyway the bastard got what he deserved for violating our base camp.

11/11/2019

The orange one must be one of Mike's relatives... I asked him for some simple help training Yogi and he walked away to go eat....

06/11/2019

Mike actually said this to the old man this morning... I had to pull him aside and explain to him that it's not a good idea to make fun of the guy who controls your food.