26/03/2024
AT LIBERTY experiences with horses has revealed many Simple Truths about what horses want us to know. These Simple Truths transfer to ALL relationships. I am “cataloguing” these Simple Truths and discussing them a bit. Here’s my most recent.
At Liberty Simple Truth 4 states that trust is foundational to the creation of meaningful relationships. There are 3 main obstacles to trust: Pain (Simple Truth 6), fear (Simple Truth 7), and Stress (Simple Truth 8). Here, we are digging into Simple Truth 7.
#7: Fear is a barrier to trust.
Well, that’s obvious. Why would any creature trust another creature that produces a strong and unpleasant experience? And yet, these two opposing ideas are often co-mingled, and in the most striking ways: The parent that abuses their child, also wants them to adopt their point of view on everything; the boss that causes you to feel that your job is continually on the line, wants you to have confidence in the future of the company; the horse handler that uses fear of consequences has the expectation that the horse will hold them in high esteem.
We tear horses down, we break their spirits, and we feel that we need to do this because horses are big, fast, and strong. We seek obedience because we want control over the animal. We want control because we want to feel safe, and we want to have experiences that satisfy us. And we often use fear to do it. Fear of what will happen… if.
Why do we use fear? Because it works. Why do we seldom question it? Frankly, because the horse allows it. Think about it, you would never try over-power a gorilla… they would kill you. You would never try to intimidate a polar bear… they would kill you. Horses are very capable of killing you. They could rip you apart with their teeth, pick you up by your neck and break it, throw you on the ground and stomp you until you stopped moving. But they don’t do this, horses don’t fight, generally, unless they are cornered or protecting something of value to them, and even then, they may not fight. Horses usually submit.
Horses are prey animals, and it is suggested that this is why they are submissive, but that’s just part of the reason. Horses live in cooperative societies where they have friendships, roles in the group, and shared knowledge about survival that is passed down from one generation to generation. Scientists that study feral herds report that in order to survive, the group seeks to maintain a state of calm, and that often means driving horses out of the group. This is why horses are “path of least resistance creatures.” This is why they seek resolution of conflict and reduction of stress. This is why they prefer to “get along.” Horses are submissive creatures. Horse folks don’t like hearing this, but horses are actually pretty easy to train – assuming, of course, that there is some trust in the relationship.
Obedience is not the same as trust. Submission is not the same as trust. To trust another creature is to know that things will go well when they are with you– and reliably so. There is no fear in any of this. This is not difficult to understand. Think of how hard it can be to fully trust another person, and consider how easily that your trust can be violated or diminished. It doesn’t take much to feel that you need to protect yourself from a person, or from experiences that worry you.
Your horse’s trust is earned through events that prove that the experience of “you” is not concerning, and ideally empowering, even enjoyable. Then there needs to be an
accumulation of many of these experiences, and in a variety of situations, and over a period of time. There are no shortcuts here. This accumulative effect creates a deep feeling of certainty, a knowing that becomes difficult to unseat. When a fearful event occurs in a trusting relationship with your horse, chances are very good that the event will not be associated with you, but rather something that you and your horse “shared” and worked through together– just like in the herd.
When I see fear as a way to control horses, I feel badly for the animal, of course. But I also feel disappointment in the handler– fear is not just unkind, it’s outdated, and it isn’t even necessary.
