17/01/2023
People or its aren't supposed to have free will. There's a free will life given out to the Messiah for fairness but it became unfair being confused with giving everyone a free will life as the new fair or everyone at least a free will choice except men yet?
You aren't supposed to have free will. I was supposed to raise you to be who you were going to be but I didn't, I let you be you, which I now regret because that's not really allowed. Being a Narcissistic Mom is okay it turns out, it's preferable for the universe. It's necessary for the multiverse. So, unfortunately I have to step back and since I can't go back in time in a way that's suitable for raising you to care about what you wanted to be when you were older
So I don't have a choice but to dictate your future in some impactful way
I was too interested in who you were going to become to stop and think that that wasn't really up to you as much as I wish it were
I kept wanting to know what was going to happen
But there is no such thing as free will. There is a thing called choice though which involves decision making and a back-and-forth process that confuses many about the concept of free will vs. choice vs. decision making (no compare and contrast, just compare, compare and contrast was a stupid assignment) including myself
I didn't mean to not raise you to be an adult but there were no adults around me that were older than me and they kept saying I wasn't adult enough because I didn't work for money
They were confusing me
Then my old goal to move to Point Lookout with Mikey confuses me more. That was too far. But I thought settling down in a house on LI made sense for high school for you, it didn't...
It seems most adults parenting still have future goals to change things for their kids when they're older in nyc or upstate
I guess people are still having kids too soon, better off waiting until the end point of humanity, 35+
Maybe it's just the kids that motivate the person in a different way, which it does
..
Anyways that's enough "food for thought" for this post