29/04/2025
Beautifully expressed đ
We can have it all.
Pictured here are two straight lines representing two extremes of a spectrum. One line represents âI donât care how my horse thinks, feels, or what they needâŠthey are going to do what I want. They have no choice.â
And on the other side, that line represents âI only care about what my horse thinks, feels, and what they want, and I never ask them to do anything they donât want to do. They always have complete choice.â
We live in a world of duality and polarity within that duality. Hot needs cold, hard needs soft, connected needs disconnected, and the idea of choice needs the idea of no choice. This is how we can know things, and how we can know where we are, at any given time.
Those two straight lines in this pictureâŠthey are extreme, simple, and easy. Theyâre easy because the answer to every situation has already been made before weâre even in it. The extreme viewpoints in those two straight lines are also very dangerous. They are disconnected from intuition, flow, change, and most of allâwhat the moment wants and how we can best serve the horse in that moment.
Because how we can best serve the horse sometimes means haltering them up and getting them into a stall even when they donât want to, all for their health and safety. It can mean being firm with our boundaries and asking them to not walk into our space. And it can mean inspiring them to move even when they donât want to.
These things all serve the horse. In the domesticated horse world, horses need our help to guide them. When it comes to crossing the road, even with the smartest horse in the world, it usually better serves the horse if weâre leading the way.
How we can best serve the horse, though, can also mean listening to them when they donât want to come in a stall and letting them have the choice to stay out. It can mean letting the horse walk into our space in the right moment when theyâre letting their guard down and connecting. And it can sometimes mean respecting their ânoâ when they donât want to move for us.
These things all very much serve the horse just as much. Recognizing the thought and feeling of a horse, and honoring it, is a game-changer. And when a horse is allowed true choice and chooses to be with us in the workâŠgreat try, confidence, and beauty comes with that.
Because there is a third line pictured. The middle one. And thatâs the one with the greatest opportunity for true connection, trusted relationship, and reciprocal giving. Itâs also the hardest line. Because the answer can change moment-to-moment, situation-to-situation, horse-to-horse, human-to-human. It takes feel, intuition, experience, and true being in the moment and letting go of any story of how we think itâs supposed to go. This is when true intuition and guidance comes that truly serves both the horse and us equally.
What helps me is to take a good deep breath, relax, find stillness within, and askâŠ
1 â how may I best serve the horse?
2 â and what does the moment want?
And sometimes itâs inspiring them to try their hardest to follow our guidance even when theyâd rather not.
And sometimes itâs letting go of asking them to do that when theyâd rather not.
In the end, neither âyesâ or ânoâ are better than each other. âYesâ is ânoâ to something else, and ânoâ is âyesâ to something else. Itâs all just truth and opportunity. This is true freedom, where anything can lead to everything.
Following that middle line takes a lot of work. But itâs so very worth it. Because when itâs in balance, thereâs a place there where we can say âI respect, honor, and care very much about the horseâs thoughts, feelings, and choicesâŠwhile they also do their best to follow my guidance whenever I ask.â
And the thing is, it can all be infused with the same intention, the same presence, the same gentle, soft, confident energy. A lifetime of a journey this middle line is, with no end to the learning and growing and discovery.
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