Puppy Blues Project

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Puppy Blues Project

A platform to help people feel less alone if they are finding bringing home a new puppy or dog overwhelming.

02/07/2024

There can tend to be some common misconceptions when it comes to the Puppy Blues.

Here are some of the ones I have come across over the last 3 years of talking to 100’s of people about the Puppy Blues 💙

30/06/2024

3 years ago I was broken.

Crying uncontrollably at times.

Feeling like we had made the biggest mistake.

Wondering if the feeling of dread will ever go away.

Worrying about every little thing I was doing.

Was I doing enough for him?

Was I doing the right training?

Googling almost every single thing.

Anxiety sending my mind into a spin.

It’s crazy to think that 3 years ago I considered the possibility of taking our little 14 week old puppy back to the breeder.

I am so grateful I didn’t.

I am also so grateful that I went through what I went through.

That experience has meant that I could create a supportive group to help people who are struggling like I did.

So that they can feel less alone.

Ralph is just over 3 years old now - and I absolutely adore him to bits.

He is my soul dog - our rough start to our journey together has made me appreciate him even more now.

If you are struggling right now , know that it gets better.

And if you feel like you are alone in this - we have over 700 people on the private support group now and it’s constantly growing.

Puppy Blues are real , and it can happen to even the most well prepared humans. 💙

07/11/2023

Do the Puppy Blues the end?

My answer to this is , for some people they never return , for others , there will be things that can still trigger some of those feelings.

For me , some of those Puppy Blues feelings can certainly still appear , and below are some of the things which have triggered them for me :

💙When Ralph is unwell
💙The Adolescent phase sure triggered it at times
💙Very stressful situations especially when out and about
💙When he developed separation anxiety after we moved to a new town

The difference is , those feelings and emotions don’t tend to be as intense and don’t tend to stick around as long as they did during the first few months Ralph was home , I also understand why I’m feeling what I feel.

I have developed ways to cope with the feelings of anxiousness and worry , but I can still struggle with it all.

Some things I have found which have worked for me :

💙Going for a walk by myself
💙Having a shower , with the music turned up
💙Going for a walk somewhere isolated with Ralph
💙Playing the 1,2,3 counting game with Ralph if we are out and about and those feelings start to appear
💙Finding a good support group who I can train Ralph together with that don’t judge us
💙Talking to my husband about it ( this is where the private puppy blues Facebook group is helpful if you don’t feel comfortable chatting to people you know about it)

For some people , they go through a week of the puppy blues and then they never go through it again , others struggle through it for months , some even a year. For some , the initial puppy blues go away , but then appear again when adolescent hits , or if the dog develops separation anxiety , reactivity or is worried about the world outside.

It can be hard , and it can feel lonely.

But know , you aren’t “crazy” and you aren’t alone 💙 join the private Facebook Group for a safe place to be : https://www.facebook.com/groups/5924511800927289/?ref=share_group_link

02/07/2023

How accurate is this? 😂😂😂 💙

22/06/2023

Hands up who found or still is finding the adolescent phase an absolute wild ride 🙋‍♀️

Between 8months and 13months I most certainly still had a number of moments where all of those puppy blues feelings would come flooding back in.

The anxiety , the not feeling good enough to raise him , the wondering what I did to cause the things he was doing etc.

Those feelings wouldn’t hang around for long and they weren’t as intense as when he was a puppy , but they still did surface.

At over 2 years old , that intense teenage phase is starting to definitely ease , even though he does still have his impulsive moments.

Here are some of my tips for surviving adolescence 💙

06/06/2023

Exactly 2 years ago , I had spent my first night with the little white howling wolf.

The effects of the puppy blues started building , and as the sleepless nights went on , those effects became stronger and stronger.

In the photo on the left , I was so incredibly lost. Trying to get through every single day , even every single hour without breaking down and crying.

I would lie awake at night , anticipating Ralph making a noise. Even if he didn’t.

I would spend my days , counting down the minutes until Ralph would have a nap.

Absolutely broken inside of my own head , wondering why I was so stupid for choosing to bring a puppy home.

Wondering if it would ever get better.

Wondering if I should just return him to the breeder.

Wondering if I could ever love him.

2 years later , in the photo on the right , instead of counting down the minutes until he is asleep , I count the months and years going by , wishing that he would live forever , because I really cannot begin to imagine my life without him.

He absolutely turned my life around , but he gifted me more than I could have ever imagined.

The puppy blues , those horrible tough few months , have meant that I could make it my mission to help others going through the same thoughts and feelings I went through.

I get to share our story.

Those tough few months , also made me appreciate everything we have now together. He brings so much happiness , laughter and floof into our lives.

If you are going through the puppy blues , I know it feels like it won’t get better.

That those dark thoughts and feelings will never disappear.

They will.

And I’m here for you , and so is our Puppy Blues Project private Facebook group. There are almost 200 of us who have battled through the puppy blues , some are still battling through them. But one thing is for sure , we are all in there to support each other 💙

20/04/2023

Every puppy is different , and you may relate to one , all or none of these.

But these are some common things people find hard when they are battling through the Puppy Blues.

Our expectations of what raising a puppy will be like can leave us in a state of shock when the reality actually hits.

I knew puppies had shark teeth , but the reality of it really did shock me when Ralph arrived.

Or the amount of crazy googling , YouTubing , scrolling social media for answers I would do.

When in reality , everything was ok , everything that was happening was “normal” , but my anxious mind would take me on a “this isn’t normal” panic journey.

As time goes on , all of these start becoming less and less , for some people within a few weeks , for others it can take months.

💙

11/04/2023

You are 2 today.

Where has the time gone.

It only feels like yesterday , I was wondering if the darkness would ever lift.

Your little howls , setting off anxious thoughts and feelings.

The broken sleeps , waiting for you to make a noise.

Worrying about whether I was doing enough.

Worrying about whether you were healthy.

Searching on google for everything I could.

Wondering whether you would have been better off in a different family.

Questioning whether I was capable of raising you properly.

Feeling ashamed of not being able to handle a small puppy.

Now , here we are , and I KNOW I am the right person for you.

Just like you are the right dog for me.

Everything we went through at the start , has only made me love and appreciate you even more now.

Look at us now , taking on the world , and helping people through very similar battles and struggles we went through.

Helping them realise that the darkness does lift and that when it does , that light is going to shine so brightly , brighter then they could have ever imagined 💙

Happy Birthday big boy 🐺

08/04/2023

Can’t believe you are going to be 2 in a few days.

I used to think the Puppy Blues hindered us and our relationship, I felt like I had failed you , like I didn’t deserve you.

But , looking back now , what it actually did was build an unbreakable bond like no other.

It also has meant that we have been able to now help hundreds of people to come through the puppy blues as well , and to not give up on their fluff balls.

Love you more than words could ever express our big floofy snowflake ❄️ cannot wait to see what the many more years bring us 💙

16/03/2023

You are not alone 💙 we have over a 100 members in our private Facebook Group already who have gone through or are going through the Puppy Blues .

Knowing you are not alone is so important since I know how lonely it feels when you are in the deep of the Puppy Blues 💙

If you have gone through or are currently going through the Puppy Blues , feel free to join our private Facebook group for support and to not feel so alone :

https://www.facebook.com/groups/5924511800927289/?ref=share_group_link

13/03/2023

Raising a puppy isn’t always as beautiful as social media etc. makes it out to be.

The journey can be up and down , it can leave you feeling broken and like you aren’t doing enough.

Even if people make it through the first lot of the puppy blues - when adolescence kicks in it can bring another round of those anxieties and worries.

It’s important to know , that the journey of raising a puppy is more like being on an intense roller coaster rather than a relaxing log flume ride.

Lots of sharp corners , drastic up and downs , and sometimes you feel like you are being thrown upside down.

But at some point , that roller coaster will stop at the end and let you jump off.

When you jump off , is when your pup is maturing and showing you the beautiful dog they are becoming.

07/03/2023

Not feeling good enough.

Not feeling good enough to raise your puppy.

This is a common comment amongst people going through the puppy blues.

We can feel as though we don’t have the skills , the patience , the perseverance to raise our puppy.

We can feel like we are not doing enough.

The reality is , the people who feel these emotions , are actually doing A LOT.

Sometimes , too much .

We put so much pressure on ourselves to raise the perfect puppy that it feels overwhelming and as though we are never going to be good enough to achieve that.

There are no perfect puppies.

You ARE the right person for your puppy.

You CAN do it.

Take a breath.

Take the pressure off.

Your puppy is going to be ok.

You are going to be ok.

These emotions and feelings won’t last forever.

It does get better 💙

15/12/2022

Building your puppy is like building a new house 🐶 I came up with this comparison which might help people understand the stages you may experience while raising a puppy.

Just remember , even when it seems like nothing is being built , internally that building work is still happening 💙

14/12/2022

It feels like only yesterday that I felt like I would never be able to sit next to Ralph like this without him attempting to bite me or trying climb on top of me.

He has just turned 20 months old and he is turning into the best boy.

All those puppy foundations and consistency through adolescence is starting to shine through more and more now.

It’s been an absolute wild ride , and the biggest learning curve for me.

I can’t remember the last time I broke down and sobbed and felt like I was failing him , or beat myself up about not feeling like I was the right human for him.

Those intense emotional moments are starting to become a memory.

There are still days when there are moments where those intense puppy blues anxious feelings come flooding back in , but they are few and far between and usually triggered by him being unwell.

If you are going through the Puppy Blues right now , know that it does get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

That 9 week old , land shark will be 6 months old before you know it.

And that energetic , tornado like 6 month old will be 2 years old sooner then you think.

Keep persevering, focus on each day as it comes , remain consistent and keep your head up 💙

08/11/2022

Thank you for sharing your story 💙

21/09/2022

One common thing people mention when they talk about what they found hardest during the puppy blues - it’s that they wanted to make sure they were doing everything right to raise the “perfect” dog.

The pressure they put on themselves and their puppy pushes them further into the puppy blues.

I did the exact same thing when Ralph was a puppy. I would compare him to friends with other puppies that were different breeds , I would compare him to other Swiss Shepherds , and it would leave me feeling like I was doing something wrong or that there was something wrong with him.

When I gave up my idea of what he “should” be , and instead worked with who he was , our relationship changed , the pressures I was putting on myself and onto him changed and I started to enjoy him a lot more.

Don’t rush things , take your time , have fun with training your puppy and ask for help from a trained professional if or when needed and work with the puppy you have.

There are aren’t “perfect” humans , so let go of this thought that you need to have the “perfect” dog.

14/08/2022

Puppies aren’t the only ones that can trigger the Puppy Blues.

The adolescence phase can leave us in a state of shock when all of a sudden that adorable ball of fluff is developing a whole other side that we never knew existed.

They are interested in the environment more and more , and we feel like second choice more times then not.

They develop another level of energy and we feel like they have no ears.

All of a sudden they are stealing socks , running around the house in a state of zoomies and the cue “sit” is non existent. They are bigger , can jump up higher and reach places they couldn’t reach before.

It can feel like any training you do during this phase isn’t going anywhere and it can be really disheartening.

However , much like building a house , there can be stages of the build where it looks like nothing is progressing even though there are things happening.

You just can’t see the progress yet.

But , with every day , more building work is done , and suddenly the walls are going up , then before you know it the house has a roof.

Sometimes things can go a few steps back if there are delays etc. but sooner or later there will be more progress until you are finally moving into your brand new home and enjoying it.

The same thing is happening during adolescence with our dogs . This is why it’s so important to keep consistently training , to keep building them up even when it feels like it’s not working.

All of the foundations and hard work will shine through before you know it 💙

11/08/2022

Thank you for sharing your stories with me so that I can share them.

They really do make a huge difference for people who are going through the Puppy Blues 💙

10/08/2022

**Puppy Biting**

When I was going through the puppy blues , Ralph’s biting was most certainly a huge trigger.

He was relentless and I found myself getting lost in Google searches , trying to figure out if he was aggressive. I underestimated how intense the land shark stage would be. It can make you question whether you will ever be able to pat your fluff ball without having them latch on to your fingers.

I finally managed to sit down on the ground with him around 5/6 months of age without him launching at me.

I hope this infographic series helps you 💙

08/08/2022

Welcome to all of our new followers 👋 (thanks for sharing our page) .

I say “our page” since this page has been created for everyone who is or has experienced the puppy blues. Or , even if you haven’t , you might be able to understand what people who are going through it may be experiencing.

Ralph is 16 months old now , and the worst of the puppy blues for me are long gone. However , some of the feelings can most definitely start to be triggered again in certain situations.

Puppy Blues don’t only occur with puppies. They can also occur with older rescue dogs , the adolescent phase can definitely kick them in , reactivity etc.

It doesn’t mean that you are weak , or that you can’t handle or don’t deserve your pup , it just means that you care so much that anxieties can come flooding in taking over your mind.

I hope this page helps you in some way , I am a message away if you need someone to vent to or just talk to 💙

15/06/2022

People sharing their puppy blues experiences helps people who are going through it feel less alone.

I know when I was going through it , I felt like I was the only one feeling this way.

I felt ashamed and as though the emotions I was experiencing meant that I was weak.

It’s only a puppy - I should be able to handle it.

But , as I have mentioned before , it’s not just a puppy.

It is a cute fluffy ball of energy with sharp teeth who has no idea yet how to live in our human world.

Just remember , you are doing your best. Talk about how you are feeling and if you don’t feel like you have anyone that you can talk to then send me a message , I am here for you 💙

Livia

13/06/2022

We all have some kind of a daily routine , even if we don’t realise it.

So when a puppy arrives into our lives , that routine gets turned upside down.

We can all of a sudden feel not in control of our days , which in return increases that anxiety.

So , one way we can gain back some of that normality is by creating a daily plan for our puppies. And in that daily plan , you will add in at least one thing that will bring you comfort.

Maybe having a shower while your puppy has breakfast? Or drinking your cup of coffee in peace while your puppy has their morning nap? Or having breakfast while your puppy is occupied by a frozen enrichment toy? Choose what brings you comfort and what brings calmness to your mind.

By having a daily schedule , it also means that you will be able to try and help your puppy get enough sleep. We often see an increase in puppies biting more , becoming easily frustrated and almost going into a frenzy when they are overtired. This can tend to add to our anxious state.

I have put together a daily plan example , each puppy will be different in terms of how much they sleep at a time etc. but you can use it as a guideline.

08/06/2022

Just like that , Ralph has officially been home with us for one year.

I sat down over the weekend and remembered where we were at a year ago and the emotions that came with it all.

That feeling of shock setting in that this little howling white polar bear was our new family member.

The shock of the piercing sharp shark teeth.

The shock of sleep deprivation.

The shock of our entire structured routine life being turned upside down.

Does my anxiety still surface at times? Of coarse , but it also disappears instead of lingering around like it did when Ralph was a puppy.

I am sitting here , a year later , with my big Swissie snoozing peacefully by my feet. Our cats , happily sitting on the couch next to me. Everyone , coexisting together , happily.

And I think back , to the moments where I actually considered giving Ralph back to the breeder since I believed he deserved a better more loving family.

The moments where I thought I just couldn’t raise him properly.

How wrong was I , he is exactly where he needs to be , he is exactly the dog we always wanted and I couldn’t imagine our life without him.

However , when you are in the deep of the puppy blues , it’s hard to imagine that it will get better.

But it will.

I promise.

I am a message away , please don’t resort to giving your puppy up just yet. Have a chat with me. I have been there , in the worst of it.

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Can’t believe you are going to be 2 in a few days. I used to think the Puppy Blues hindered us and our relationship, I felt like I had failed you , like I didn’t deserve you. But , looking back now , what it actually did was build an unbreakable bond like no other. It also has meant that we have been able to now help hundreds of people to come through the puppy blues as well , and to not give up on their fluff balls. Love you more than words could ever express our big floofy snowflake ❄️ cannot wait to see what the many more years bring us 💙

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