13/01/2020
Part of my job as a dog trainer is helping people develop realistic expectations of dogs, not only the dogs they have but also the dogs around them. Something I encounter very often is a desire on the part of owners for their dogs to be highly social (meaning they love approaching and engaging with all people and all dogs.) I also meet many people who think this is what a “normal” dog temperament should be.
I like to explain why this is an unrealistic expectation by using people as an example. I am a moderately social person. If I see someone I know on the street, I will acknowledge them, wave, and be on my way. I won’t avoid them. If a stranger wants to talk with me, I am happy to have a quick chat. When I travel on an airplane, I make pleasantries with the people beside me for a bit and then pop my headphones on for the rest of the trip. I am very much in the middle of the social spectrum.
That being said, there are many people who are far more social than I am. These people love to strike up conversations with everyone they meet. They fill their gas tank and talk with the stranger beside them. They check out at the grocery store and chat with the cashier. They talk for 4.5 hours on the plane and love every minute of it.
There are also people who prefer to keep to themselves in most social situations. They would rather go about their day and keep their thoughts to themselves. They enjoy the quiet. They enjoy coming and going without pressure. They often have a small group of friends, and it works great for them.
We see different personality types every day, and the great thing about it, is that none of these personalities are wrong, and we accept them as part of our diversity. When I slip my headphones on rather than talking for the 4.5 hour flight, no one points of finger at me and says I need therapy. They understand I am a moderately social person.
Our dogs live on a similar spectrum. We see social butterflies that love everyone and everything. We see moderately social dogs that like to engage here and there but also enjoy their downtime. And we have quiet dogs that would much rather watch the crowds from a distance. Again, none of them are wrong, and none of them mean you have a damaged dog.
As long as dogs aren’t a danger to themselves or others, give them space and let them be. You may just find them opening up once they know the pressure is off. Enjoy the spectrum and everything it offers.
