Yesterday was a big, big day in my world. I'd popped Blue over trot poles and the odd single crossrail, but we hadn't cantered towards anything with daylight under it. He's done this gymnastic line (at a more significant height) with our coach so at the end of our dressage lesson she suggested we give it a try since it was nice and low.
I wasn't nervous to trot this line -- the beauty of gymnastics to me is that once you're past the first fence, all you can do is steer so pressure's off -- but canter was a different story. I feel like cantering any size fence relies more on me to get our pace and distance right, and I'm not always confident I will. True to form, Blueberry went on happily, taking care of me, being his steady self just when I needed him most.
Blue is still learning (quickly) where his feet are and when we are both ready to do more together, we will. To my surprise I'm sort of looking forward to it!
Blueberry Starter Cross Country
The second half of Blueberry’s cross country run this weekend at Octoberfest.
The first half was largely obscured by trees. I love how confident he looks in his final jumps. The shape of his jump in those looks much truer to what he does at home as compared to his stadium, because I think he had begun to breathe and see the fences clearly by then.
So proud of him!
Blueberry’s Starter Stadium
Blueberry’s first stadium course at the KHP with our trusty coach aboard. Giggles and commentary mine.
Baby's first gymnastic! Blueberry is having a blast preparing for his first horse trial this weekend with Stephanie Calendrillo
TIP dressage schooling
Honestly I have no idea what to expect from our dressage tests these next two days. But I’ll always have this win as a rider.
Blueberry has held way more tension today than I’m used to on ship-in day. There has been tons of screaming and a few kite incidents during our walks and even at the barn. As we were waiting to go school all I could think was, “I can’t ride this horse. This isn’t my horse. He’s going to hit the roof as soon as I get on and I can’t do this.”
Bless our trainer, who said she’d hop on first if I needed her to. “Yes,” I said. “I can’t do it.” So that was the plan, that I’d tack him and bring him up to the ring for her, so I walked the walk of shame, not on my horse, to have someone do what I felt I couldn’t.
But then when we walked up to the ring, he seemed quiet. Maybe I can do it?
So I swung a leg over. And he was lazy, heavy, but focused, quiet, ready. We walked. We serpentined. We trotted. And even though I was scared, I warmed him up like we do at home. And no matter what comes tomorrow, that is huge for us both.
(Stephanie did hop on him briefly, gloriously, to move him off the right leg, but by then it was a training moment and not a fear moment. I am thankful for her every moment of this week.)
Blueberry and I are in First Level boot camp this week as we prepare to tackle two new tests at HorseAid Live on Saturday. Both tests will be challenging for us, but it will be good for us to get in the arena and get show miles on him.
One thing we have learned about Blue this season is that he gets some anxiety in the show ring. He's relaxed schooling away from home, happy in warm-up--it is JUST the show ring. It's not anything most people would notice--he doesn't melt down, bolt, buck, or even invert. He internalizes his tension and it manifests as a loss of mental sharpness. He second guesses his transitions and is just a little bit distracted...which, honestly, I find so relatable.
It's been a good lesson that anxiety looks different on everyone (even horses). We think he will grow out of this with time, and lots of show ring experience and my job is to give him a consistent ride and remain patient with his young mind. So, let's get out there!
Here's a look at Blueberry's starter stadium course yesterday. His big, green horse hop over the first fence makes me giggle every time. He's so joyful throughout and Stephanie did a great job guiding him through.
I'm bad at remembering to post lesson video but here's a clip from last week, where we worked on a canter serpentine for the first time. It's not a movement we will need in competition for a little while yet, but it was good practice on maintaining the bend while encouraging Blueberry to move off my seat and leg.
As I've had time to ponder last weekend, I have to say I'm especially proud of our second test. I see elements here I'd like to improve, but plenty to like. Mostly I'm pleased with the mental aspect here for me. This is the first dressage test we did completely without warmup coaching, as Stephanie had to ride her stadium on the other side of the Park. (Bless her, she came trotting over the hill just in time for our third. #legend) We'd gotten through our first ride of the afternoon by this point, but the wind gusts were still 40 mph+ and Blueberry had a pretty good spook at the puddle outside the ring right before this.
Last season, I think these factors would have unraveled my test completely. In the moment though, I could tell Blue had settled in for the most part. He still had some energy but he had his focus. He just needed direction. I decided I wanted to be able to watch the video back afterwards and hold my chin up, so I took a breath and went to work implementing our coach's feedback from the last test.
Building confidence isn't a linear thing; I know this too well. But after this beginning to our season I'm hopeful there may come a time when I can focus on my tests and not on my nerves. After our final salute, the judge told me "You should be very happy with that." And I am!
Blueberry is helping me build my confidence back with some ground poles.
I have some nagging trauma left over from a frightening fall I took as a teenager. My first horse, Jitterbug, was a steady partner in this area as I tried to ignore my anxiety during a lower-level eventing career, but I never really got comfortable over fences. I'm not sure if I'll get there again, but I am ready to begin jogging over poles and teeny cross rails while he continues his jump training with Stephanie.
I was so proud of Blueberry on the afternoon we shot this. He'd been in the barn most of the day while the fields were sprayed, and it was fairly chilly. He'd had every reason to be feisty, but he was just his usual happy, game little self.
Blueberry's first (and only) race!
Three years ago today (March 7, 2020), Blueberry competed in his first and only race, finishing fourth in a six-furlong maiden special weight at Oaklawn Park.
Back then, he was known to the world only as Underscore, and he competed under the Godolphin blue silks, with Joe Talamo aboard and Brad Cox training. He's the #5 horse in the video.
We always knew he was on the smaller side, but that was really driven home when he entered the gate against other foes, and we lost sight of him as he navigated in between horses. Talamo put him in good position entering the stretch, and got him into second behind the eventual winner, but Blueberry didn't seem to care for having dirt thrown in his face. Honestly, we don't blame him.
When he was born, Blueberry's purpose was to become a racehorse. The first three years of his life were devoted to it, and we spoke to so many people in the Godolphin and Cox barns who said he showed potential to be a good runner.
Blueberry shows flashes of that in his new career - his new purpose - with his athleticism and willingness, but it's still an uncanny feeling seeing a horse we've known as a quiet, people-pleasing, unshakingly chill horse suited up as a runner on a simulcast feed, digging in with competitive spirit (you know, until the dirt in the face).
In a way, it feels like the horse on the screen and the horse in our stall are two completely different animals. In a way, they probably are.
Whether Blueberry had won the race or run last, we would have been proud of him then, just as we're proud of him every day that we're fortunate enough to call him our own. Even three years later, it's still pretty cool to look at the replay and be able to say, "That's our horse!"
A lot of this winter has seen Blueberry and Stephanie working together to adjust his balance, encouraging him to shift his weight more evenly between his inside and outside limbs. He tends to brace and dump weight with his inside shoulder, especially his right shoulder, and we want him to be a bit more symmetrical to avoid overloading and soreness. She has also been working with him on becoming more responsive to the seat and less dependent on leg for directional control and forward momentum. This requires a big shift in the way I'm used to communicating with him, but it's nice to have moments like these where the pieces start to come together.
Blueberry has been doing a lot of work with our coach, Stephanie, this winter. It's so fun to see him at work from the ground and really helps me understand his strengths and weaknesses in a different way.
Chilly weather means it’s a good time for cookies with Blueberry. Then again, it’s always a good time for cookies with Blueberry. Just ask him.
We're putting the pieces together, slowly. I'm starting to adjust to the deeper seat of our dressage saddle and while I still need to sit up and back a little more, I think we're both really benefitting from it. The left canter lead is a little tougher for Blueberry right now than the right, but the trot work during today's ride was nicer to the left so I'm posting this clip.
We've got 2 weeks until our next schooling show, and 4 until TIP Championships, so fingers crossed we both keep improving!
Good Blueberry
A bit of an unscheduled sensitivity check in a lesson this week--I use a removable sun visor on my helmet on sunny days and I guess I didn't have it secured as well as I thought. Luckily, the 5-year-old baby OTTB was too busy doing his job to notice a piece of fabric hitting him squarely on the bum!
Tomorrow, Blueberry and Stephanie will go to his first combined test. Today’s jump school was on the eventful side, but we think he is ready! (Sound up. And our apologies to Jordan and Nixon, who found Blueberry’s antics incredibly exciting.)
