10/24/2025
I’m cleaning out a bunch of moving boxes from 2018, and I came across a leftover party bag from Bobber’s first gotcha day party in 2016. I think he did good on his party bags!
I feel like I was pulled into a vortex or parallel universe when I purchased this home in 2018. All my friends were getting husbands and having babies, and I wanted a project for the next chapter of my life. Well… I definitely got that project.
I love how old and broken down my home is, because it was built in 1900 and it’s still standing. I’m not as old, but I can relate. I’ve lived a lifetime these past seven years. From day one, I had a contracting nightmare. I used my entire salary every month to cover a new mortgage as well as rent at my apartment. Due to the contracting nightmare, I was unable to move into my home for several months. In February 2019, I filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, and it was a blessing. It was the help I needed to get back on track. And I’m proud to say I haven’t had any financial problems since then. I remember at the time, my ex judged me for it and told me I was the type of person who would always have money problems and be filing for bankruptcy. But I knew who I was and what kind of person I continue to be.
I was fortunate to have purchased my home when I did, and file for bankruptcy when I did. Because then 2020 came and we all had Covid and it’s fallout to deal with. 2020 was actually a pretty good year for me. I started really establishing my roots here, getting into gardening, and teaching myself how to build an aviary. Initially I tried to hire the project out, but I couldn’t find anyone that would follow through. So I did it myself, and that was a blessing too, because I learned how much I enjoy creating things with my hands and being among nature.
In 2020, I left a stable job of 10 years, with a pension, to take a chance running my own business as a mental health therapist. I loved leaving all the bureaucracy behind, and have never doubted my choice. Not even when I started getting sick in 2022. I forged ahead. I continued aviary construction and taking in sick and injured pigeons, nursing them back to health and giving them the promise of a better future. I studied up on foundations and nonprofits, officially establishing Bobber’s Pigeon Sanctuary, 501c3 in 2022. I continued showing up as a therapist, genuinely caring for my clients, and existing with them in some of their darkest times. I did it alone, with the support of the birds and nature around me, and with my therapist.
I was drinking a lot, and I was pushing myself too hard, and I was too isolated. It started to take a real toll. My only sister got married and had a baby in 2022, and I could not show up for them the way I wanted to, because my body was giving out. I was trying to keep myself, my clients, and my birds alive. In 2023 I was hospitalized for anaphylaxis. We never figured out the cause, and that’s the only time I’ve ever experienced anaphylaxis. I spent the next 3 years on a crusade in the medical world, getting shuffled around to numerous specialists, waiting several months to be seen, and spending a small fortune.
Winter 2024, I tried going to 3 different ERs on different occassions, and was always sent home- without labwork, without medication, and without answers. I felt obligated to take 2 months off work, because my body physically couldn’t handle simple tasks. When you run your own business, you don’t get sick time, and you still have to pay for your health insurance every month. But I was blessed, because I had enough in my bank account to cover the short reprieve.
When I came back to work in 2025, I had to rebuild my clientele. I was now allergic to alcohol, not the ideal time to get sober. I was now allergic to the sun, so I had to consider the garden and outdoors a loss. It took every bit of strength in myself to do the bare minimum of feeding and cleaning for the birds. I couldn’t date, because I was covered in rashes. I was constantly physically uncomfortable because of the rashes and I had to deal with the world seeing me covered in them.
It’s been a season of loss. Losing my identity and purpose hitting me the hardest, and coping with it alone- aside from the compassion of the pigeons and my therapist. My parents, as old as they are, did what they could to help. And the gesture meant more than what they actually could offer.
And yet I remain blessed. I’m able to work and show up for my clients. I’m able to keep a roof over my head, and over the heads of 69 pigeons. I wrote a children’s book, starring Bobber of course, release date 11/4/25 on Amazon. My dad has been helping me build an addition onto my home, to properly accommodate the indoor birds with special needs. The idea is that this will reduce dust and help my overall healing. I’m currently detoxing from high levels of mycotoxins. And I’m continuing to work with doctors to determine which autoimmune disorders are affecting me, likely psoriatic arthritis and a mixed connective tissue disorder like scleroderma or lupus.
I’ve mostly done it alone, but I still like to think that
Whatever almost died inside of me is waking back up. Bobber’s Pigeon Sanctuary is about to welcome a new season. And if you can relate, welcome to Flock Bobber.