27/08/2025
Is your dog walk for your dog, or for you?
Quite often I hear that a guardian likes to take their dog out for a walk to de-stress.
If they need to de-stress, it tracks of course that they are going out for the walk when stressed.
How does this affect our dogs?
To be calm, our dogs need safety. Elevated stress levels, no matter how much we verbally say things are fine or safe, come out in our scent, hormones and nervous system. This is what our dog reads from us. No matter how much we tell them verbally "it's ok, you're safe".
When we're in a state of stress, our dogs of course can react differently to this based on their social identity and their connection to us. More often than not, it leads to them being more hyper vigilant, stressed themselves, unable to relax. It sets them and us up for a fast paced, stressful walk, anticipating issues leading to easy overwhelm and reactions to the environment and triggers.
From our side: it's hard to stay connected to our dogs when our mind is flooded with thoughts. Then you have many people who, to de-stress themselves, will go out listening to an audiobook or something, which means little to no connection with the dog.
Distractions mean missing the nervous system changes in our dog, what they're hearing or seeing, or smelling. Missing the change in body language which could allow us to avoid triggers or situations had we been listening to their communication.
When we go out in these states, is the walk actually for our dog, or for us?
I'd put to you, when you feel like this: go for that walk alone. Focus on your thoughts or listen to that audiobook. Allow yourself to relax and ease those thoughts. Or do something else to relax, take the bath, go to the gym, watch a re-run, sit and enjoy a cuppa & a few chapters of a book.
Then, when you're in a better place, go for the walk with your dog, take the time to move slowly, explore, sniff, connect. Support them when they need it and meet them at their state, which is far easier done when your emotional state is regulated.
Remember, it's ok to miss the walk with your dog when you can't support them - it takes a huge amount to admit to yourself that you can't support your dog at any time, it's something lots of people struggle with, but by doing so, you can choose an activity where you both feel a little safer and able to connect - secure field walk, sitting with them in the garden, 'play fighting', scent work or find-it games. Be more forgiving of yourself, your dog will appreciate your authenticity.
Why not show your dog how resourceful you are by pre-hiding food in the garden then go and 'find it' with/for them!
If you would like to know more about how and what your dog is communicating, get in touch re my guided walks (suitable for in home/garden too).
