Believe The Journey Horse Services LLC

29/11/2025

This is the deeper layer behind what we shared yesterday, and it’s something Nicola and I are walking through right now. We’re doing the nervous-system work ourselves - facing our conditioning, seeing our reactions, catching our dysregulation, and trying to stay present even when it’s hard. It’s an uncomfortable truth but it's the MOST important one.

Because this is something that most people don’t realise- your nervous system literally controls almost everything you do. Your thoughts, your reactions, your patterns, your “personality,” your capacity, your triggers, your shutdowns… all of it.
Most people are not living from choice, nope, they’re living from nervous system loops. Stuck patterns. Automatic survival responses. And the worst part.... they don’t even know it. Realising this is an epiphany. It’s life-changing. And it explains why so many of us feel like we’re trying so hard but nothing shifts.

Most of us have been so thoroughly disconnected from our own nervous systems that we literally cannot see stress, overwhelm, or dysregulation - in ourselves OR in our horses. And this isn't your fault. This is conditioning and it's culture, it's also what we were taught. But it's also the single biggest barrier to truly understanding our horses and creating that connection with them that changes everything.

Sadly the disconnect runs deep, it's an epidemic for humanity as well as the animal kingdom.

We've been conditioned to:

Push through discomfort
Ignore our body's signals
Call exhaustion "lazy"
Call anxiety "overthinking"
Call shutdown "calm"
Call dysregulation "just having a bad day"

We've learned that emotions are:

Inconvenient
Weak
Something to control
Something to hide
Something to "get over"

And then we bring all of that - every bit of that disconnection - to our horses.

Think about what you were taught and how many of us learned to do:

Ignore the tension in our shoulders until it became chronic pain
Override the knot in our stomach that screams "something's wrong"
Push through bone-deep fatigue because "everyone else does"
Smile when we're struggling because that's what's expected
Numb discomfort with distraction, substances, busyness etc
Call our body's warning signals "dramatic" or "inconvenient"

We've been taught that our nervous system's communication IS the problem - not the things triggering it. Depending on where you grew up, what you were taught, what your family modeled - you absorbed messages like:

"Big boys/girls don't cry"
"Stop being so sensitive"
"You're fine, toughen up"
"Don't make a scene"
"Nobody wants to hear about your feelings"
"Just push through it"
"You're being dramatic"
"Other people have it worse"
"Children should be seen and not heard"

These messages didn't just shape how you talk about emotions.
They shaped whether you can even FEEL them anymore.
Whether you can notice:

When your breath has got more shallow
When your jaw is clenched
When your stomach is tight
When your thoughts are racing
When you're one more thing away from breaking

And then we go to our horses...
When we're this disconnected from our own bodies, our own signals, our own nervous system... We bring that same blindness to our horses. We miss the early signals:

The slight tension in their body
The quick breath
The tight jaw or pinned ear
The avoidance (head turn, step away)
The whale eye
The hesitation

We don't see these because we've been trained to ignore the exact same signals in ourselves. We normalise dysregulation:

"He's always a bit tense"
"She's just high-strung"
"He settles eventually"
"She's fine once she gets going"

Just like we say about ourselves:

"I'm fine, just stressed"
"I'm just tired"
"I always feel like this"
"I'll relax later"

We see behaviour, not communication:
When our horse:

Won't stand still → "being fidgety"
Won't load → "being difficult"
Spooks at something → "being silly"
Shuts down → "being good and quiet"
Bolts → "being disrespectful"

We see problems to fix instead of information to understand.
Because that's exactly how we've been taught to treat ourselves.

When the horse finally does "act out", because we missed ten thousand smaller signals then we:

Get frustrated
Take it personally
Punish the behaviour
Push harder
Demand compliance

Because that's what we do to ourselves when our body finally forces us to pay attention through pain, illness, breakdown, or burnout.
We shame it.
We override it.
We call it weakness.
We push through anyway.
And we bring that same approach to our horses.

Now this is the part that is so important and make this even more complex. Your horse is reading your nervous system constantly.
If you are:

Rushing but pretending to be calm
Tense but calling it "focused"
Anxious but masking it as "motivated"
Dysregulated but pushing through anyway

Your horse knows.
They feel the incongruence between what your body is doing and what you're trying to project. And that incongruence itself is dysregulating to them. You cannot bring a horse into regulation if you yourself are not regulated. You cannot teach a horse to feel safe in their body if you are not safe in yours. You cannot ask a horse to trust their signals if you have learned to mistrust your own.

And that is the reason why my friends, the work starts with YOU.
Not because you're broken. Not because you're doing it wrong.
But because you cannot see in your horse what you cannot see in yourself.

If you've been taught that:

Feeling is weakness
Bodies are meant to be pushed
Signals are meant to be ignored
Needs are inconvenient
Overwhelm should be hidden

Then you will bring those same beliefs into every interaction with your horse. And you will miss what they're trying to tell you.

The deepest work in horsemanship isn't about training techniques.
It's not about methods or tools or approaches. It's about coming back into your own body.

Learning to:
Notice your own nervous system states:

What does actual calm feel like in your body? (Not numbing, not pushing through - actual calm)
What does tension feel like? Where do you hold it?
Can you tell the difference between "pushing through" and "capacity"?
Do you know what YOUR early warning signs are?

Feel your feelings - even the uncomfortable ones:

Notice sensations without judgment
Let feelings be present without needing to fix them immediately
Breathe into discomfort instead of bracing against it
Recognise that emotions are information, not problems

Give yourself permission to have limits:

You are allowed to be tired
You are allowed to feel overwhelmed
You are allowed to say "this is too much right now"
You are allowed to need rest, support, space

Understand what regulation actually feels like:

Not numbing, not acting, not "being fine"
But genuine: breath flowing, body soft, mind clear, presence available. The ability to be with what is without needing to escape or override it

Once you start doing the work, your relationship with your horse will start to shift.

When you start doing this work with yourself:
You begin to notice what you're feeling when you approach your horse.
You begin to see what they're showing you before you ask for anything.
You start asking: "Is this a capacity day or a rest day - for both of us?"
You catch the small signals you used to dismiss as nothing.
You give your horse the same grace you're learning to give yourself.
You stop demanding they regulate around your dysregulation.
You stop punishing them for having the feelings you've been taught to suppress.

The horses are waiting for us to REMEMBER.
They've been waiting for us to stop performing calm and start embodying it. They've been waiting for us to stop overriding our signals and start listening to them. They've been waiting for us to stop treating our bodies - and theirs - like machines that should just comply. They've been waiting for us to come back into our bodies.

And when we do...
We stop projecting our disconnection onto them. We stop asking them to carry what we won't acknowledge in ourselves.
We can actually see them - not through the lens of our own dissociation, but as they truly are. And we become capable of being the regulated, safe, present human they need us to be.

This is the real work. Not because you need to be perfect.
Not because you need to have it all figured out. But because the relationship you have with your own nervous system is the foundation of every relationship you have with your horse (and the world...)

If you can't feel yourself, you can't feel them.
If you can't honour your own signals, you won't honour theirs.
If you can't give yourself permission to be dysregulated sometimes, you'll punish them for the same.

The work begins with you.
With your breath.
With your body.
With your willingness to feel what you've been taught to ignore.
Not to become perfect. But to become present.
And in that presence - everything changes.

24/11/2025

Finding Peace...

People are searching for it and will do all kinds of things in their search to find peace.
It's interesting, all healthy critters seak it as well.
The thing that drives a horse in all things, is their immense desire for peace. Even the "naughty" things a horse will do can be traced back to them attempting to find peace.

But if it is something that we all are looking for, why is it so elusive? Or maybe it's not. We humans just tend to look in the wrong places.

Maybe we even sabotage others finding it too. Ever notice how certain people's simple presence can bring an overall calm but someone else can walk in and instantly cause chaos?

People are the biggest roadblocks to peace in most forms of life. This probably could be traced back to someone's unhealthy thoughts about life. Extreme examples are wars and genocide, murder and assault, right down to how we tend to let our thoughts run wild, causing anxiety and fear. When we fail to put things in their proper place, peace will elude us and as a consequence, those around us as well.

I'm thankful that it doesn't need to be this way. For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love, and of a sound mind. 2Timothy 2:7

So if we're not in a peaceful place, we need to change something. The answers are there, we just may need to put some things in their proper place. This may be hard, however living without peace is hard as well.

Pc Rachel Ann Photography

24/11/2025

Ride—your peace in all the noise.

21/11/2025

A Safe Horse Is A Safe Horse

What does that mean exactly?

It means, if a horse can resist their natural instincts to react for self-preservation, which then keeps humans safe, that horse will be safe from the horrible s**t humans will do to them when they are of no use to them (humans).

That is harsh, I know. But it is reality and we need to stop putting our heads in the sand ignoring reality because it makes us uncomfortable.

Once a horse becomes a bucker, rears, flips over, bolts, kicks, etc. They are no longer safe from a horrible possibility of ending up on the slaughter pipeline, bouncing from home to home to home, start trainer hopping from one trainer to the next using harsher and harsher methods to “fix” the problem or neglected and forgotten in someone’s field.

Yes, this can happen to good citizens too but it is far less likely, far far less common.

We want the impossible. We want the horse to behave perfectly despite our participation. They need them to put up with our bad timing, lack of knowledge, poor seat and heavy hands. If they are in pain and try to tell us, we don’t care. We want to go on our trail ride because it’s our “therapy” and destress time. Yet we want a relationship and partnership with them. As long as that relationship and partnership is a one way street of do what I say when I say it and if you have anything to say about it you are “misbehaving”.

Then the flip side is tiptoeing around the horse and treating them like glass. Never riding or asking anything of them because it may upset them or you are just plain scared of them. You inadvertently reinforce the behavior that will lead to you getting bucked off, ran over or worse. You don’t want to be a bad person, or scare your horse or stress them in any way. So caught up in your own fears, baggage and ideals that you cease to see the completely separate sentient being in front of you and what is truly best for them in the situation YOU put them in. Many times you are just a well meaning fairly green horse person who wants to do the right thing and fell for the guru fantasy talk.

Let’s be perfectly honest here though. Your horse doesn’t WANT you to ride them. They want to eat, sleep, hang out with their friends, play and enjoy their life. Work was never part of the bargain nature gave them. They are incredibly amenable beings though and we have taken full advantage of that. Can people develop such a wonderful relationship with their horse that they meet them at the gate ready for some adventure together? Absolutely! How did they do that though?

What is the answer?

Truly loving horses means to put them first before our desires, ideals and be self aware of our biases. Look at the horse in front of us and objective do what is best for them.
Let’s look at some ways to do that.

1. They are not your therapy animal. That is not fair to them. They had no choice in being caged in your life. You do your own therapy work. If the whole reason you have horses is to help yourself destress and feel better about the rest of your life - do your horse a huge favor and find some other way to work through that which doesn’t involve relying on an animal with no choice.

2. Embrace the realization that you are their caretaker, their custodian/guardian/keeper. As such, you must do everything in your power to ensure they have the best quality of life possible. Do what is best for them as a species. Not what is best for your pocket book, what makes you feel good or what is convenient. Do your work to learn how to properly care for them and not rely on your vet, farrier or anyone else to provide you with that information or placate your decisions because they are biased. You pay them and they will tell you what you want to hear to keep your business or avoid an argument. There is so much information out there online and use your common sense. Ain’t no horse in the wild eating cane molasses and beet pulp - neither should yours.

3. Learn how to work with your horse. Develop your timing, feel and how to read them. Yeah, it’s hard and it takes a lot of practice. They deserve this effort from us.

4. Realize horses need balance and consistent boundaries to navigate for their mental and emotional health. Balance is not tip toeing around them terrified to scare them but also not sending them so far over threshold they become traumatized and become scared of you. Boundaries are setting realistic rules to keep you safe and for them to navigate but not changing them based on your feelings or lack of attention.

5. Keeping an open mind. Do not pigeon hole yourself into one ideal of how to work with horses. Learn as many different approaches, methods and techniques as possible. ALL of it will help you with your skill of observation, timing and feel.

6. Develop your riding ability and fitness. The amount of people who think they are a good rider but have a horrific seat and balance off their hands still surprises me. When I taught beginner lessons twenty some odd years ago, you had to earn your reins. You got no rein lunging lessons until your seat was good enough that you had independent hands and leg aids. Expecting your horse to ignore the pain your poor riding is causing them is cruel. This includes fitness as well. Riding is athletic and not riding like a sack of potatoes requires some level of fitness. Just because someone is overweight doesn’t mean they aren’t fit either. I’ve seen plenty of thin people with zero core strength sore a horse worse than a fit overweight rider.

But I just want to trail ride, nothing fancy.

Trail riding is the most difficult and dangerous thing you can do with your horse. It is the hardest thing mentally and emotionally to expect your horse to do as well. They deserve all your effort to become the best horseman possible too.

We cover how to do all these things in our courses and help you navigate these skills with coaching. If you want to learn more please visit our website or shoot us a message. We would love to chat with you.

📸Ldoddphotography

20/11/2025

Horses form long-lasting fear memories (with science to back it up)

One of the most misunderstood aspects of horse behavior is how strongly and permanently they retain fear-based experiences.
This isn’t a training myth — it’s a documented neurological reality.

Below is a clear explanation followed by references to actual studies and published research.

🧠 Horses have a highly reactive amygdala (fear center)

Horses evolved as prey animals, so their brains prioritize rapid detection of danger over logical reasoning.
The amygdala — the part of the brain that stores fear memories — is extremely active in horses.

Because of this:

A single frightening event can create a lifelong trigger

Horses learn fear much faster than they learn relaxation

Fear memories are more easily reactivated than “positive” memories

Horses remember where something happened, the smell, the sound, the surroundings

This makes horses incredible survivors, but sometimes difficult for humans to understand.

📌 Scientific Evidence & References

1️⃣ “One-Trial Learning” — McDonnell (University of Pennsylvania)

Dr. Sue McDonnell, the world-renowned equine behaviorist at UPenn, has documented that horses often learn fear responses in one single negative experience, known as one-trial learning.

📚 Reference:
McDonnell, S. (2003). The Equid Ethogram: A Practical Field Guide to Horse Behavior.

This means a single bad trailer-loading, a fall, a harsh reprimand, or a frightening vet procedure can create a long-lasting avoidance pattern.

2️⃣ Fear memories are stored in the amygdala and are “resistant to extinction.”

Alexandra Warren-Smith, PhD, and Paul McGreevy (University of Sydney) have published extensive research showing that fear conditioning in horses is extremely persistent and that the amygdala-driven memories are not easily overwritten.

📚 Reference:
McGreevy, P., & McLean, A. (2010). Equitation Science. Wiley-Blackwell.
Warren-Smith, A., & McGreevy, P. (2008). Journal of Veterinary Behavior.

Their research shows:

Horses remember fear faster and longer than positive reinforcement

Fear conditioning is “robust” and “highly resistant” to extinction

Negative experiences are stored with environmental context (location, handler, objects, sounds)

3️⃣ Horses retain fear memories for YEARS

A French study at the University of Rennes found that horses remember negative experiences in specific locations for at least 22 months with NO retraining in between.

📚 Reference:
Fureix, C., Pagès, M., et al. (2009). “Investigation of the long-term memory of fear in horses.” Animal Cognition.

Key findings:

Horses showed fear responses when returning to the same location

Even if nothing frightening happened again

Their heart rate increased before they reached the exact spot

This demonstrates durable, long-term fear memory encoding.

4️⃣ Horses remember human mistakes and handling errors

Dr. Carol Hall (Nottingham Trent University) has shown that horses associate specific handlers with:

stress

fear

restraint

harsh treatment

even months later.

📚 Reference:
Hall, C., Goodwin, D., et al. (2008). “Horse–human relationships: The effect of human emotional state and handling errors.” Applied Animal Behaviour Science.

This supports what trainers know:
Horses don’t forget how humans make them feel.

5️⃣ Horses store sensory-linked fear memories

A study in Physiology & Behavior found that horses remember fear not only visually but also through:

smell

sound

touch

📚 Reference:
Munkes, M. et al. (2018). “Sensory processing in horses.” Physiology & Behavior.

This explains why a horse who had a traumatic trailer event may panic simply at:

the clank of a trailer hitch

the smell of diesel

the sound of a ramp dropping

⭐ Why this matters for the public

People often think:

“He’s being stubborn.”

“She’s testing me.”

“He’s just being dramatic.”

“She should get over it by now.”

But science shows:

➡️ Horses are not misbehaving — they’re remembering.
➡️ Fear memories are a survival mechanism, not defiance.
➡️ Punishing fear only strengthens the fear.
➡️ Trust takes time; fear happens instantly.

This is why patient, low-stress, consistent handling is not just “nice” — it’s biologically necessary.

19/11/2025

Horses will meet you exactly where you are—whether you know where that is or not.

One of the hardest truths in horsemanship is that you cannot separate the rider from the human being riding. You can learn theory, techniques, and timing—but if you don’t know what drives you at a deeper level, your horse will feel that gap long before you do.

Most of us move through the world with old narratives still running without our awareness in the background. Maybe you were taught, directly or indirectly, that you were small, inconvenient, or unimportant. Maybe you learned to keep your head down, not make waves, not ask for much. Or maybe you learned to overcompensate: to become hyper independent, to feel important.

Those early experiences don’t stay in childhood; they become the lens you see yourself through, and the filter you misinterpret the world through.

And the horse—sensitive, perceptive, honest—becomes a mirror for every part of that story.

A horse refusing or resisting becomes “rejection.”
A moment of hesitation becomes “I’m not good enough.”
A correction feels like conflict, and conflict feels dangerous.
Or, the opposite—you search for conflict because you expect it, and it feels safer to control it than wait for it.

None of this comes from malice. It comes from the unexamined places inside us, mirrored in the world around us.

But a horse isn’t rejecting you. A horse isn’t judging your worth. A horse isn’t reenacting the dynamics of your childhood. They are responding to the energy you bring, the clarity you offer, and the steadiness—or lack of it—behind your choices.

When we don’t know what drives us, we keep repeating the same emotional choreography over and over, in the barn and everywhere else. We avoid setting boundaries because we fear being “too much.” We micromanage because we fear losing control. We rush because we fear being behind. We freeze because we fear doing something wrong.

The real work is not really about the horse. It’s about getting curious about ourselves. Identifying the motives that subconsciously steer our hands, our timing, our expectations, our reactions. Asking, Where did this pattern come from? Who taught me this? And is it actually true?

Because once you see your own story clearly, the horse stops being a mirror of your inadequacy and becomes a partner in your growth.

Horses don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to be honest—especially with ourselves.

And when we learn to operate from clarity instead of old wounds, our work with them becomes lighter, cleaner, more present… and our whole life tends to follow.

15/11/2025