22/07/2025
Hi all,
I’m often asked in private why don’t I post regularly as I used to do, friends are asking me this being afraid I’ll loose the followers and people who donate. So I decided to come with this post for all of you in order to understand my silence.
First of all, I’m tired, exhausted, deeply depressed, I can’t be the same hopeful, fighter person that I used to be. For those who might have forgotten, it’s just me and Andreas taking care of animals, birds, house, yard and sometimes of ourselves. We can’t keep up and there is impossible to keep up taking care of a 2700 sm property, over 150 animals and birds, 2 barns with pens and a house full of dogs and cats. We live in Romania, where the dogs and cats are seen and treated as objects, no one is willing to help with cleaning at them or help in any other ways, and even if we could find by chance someone, then we wouldn’t be able to pay that person. We go to sleep after 2 am and wake up around 7 am, we can’t afford another sleeping program, the animals don’t know that we are tired, sick or not able to even walk properly, they need their daily chores, food, cleaning etc. The house needs maintenance too, even though we are not left with 1 cm from the floor to the ceiling to not be p*ed on or p**ped on, dozens of mattresses teared off, furniture, clothes, shoes etc, all this bringing extra work and extra stress on our shoulders. Now you clean and in the next 5 minutes one of them needs to give a p*e on a clean spot, even if it’s the bed. We are out of mattresses and bed sheets and blankets, towels, cloths, shoes, cleaning supplies, vacuums, brooms etc, they destroy everything and we can’t replace them because we are struggling to even feed them, so the cleaning part becomes a nightmare because we never can clean properly with just water and a cloth.
Secondly, I’ve been posting and posting daily for few years, happy posts mostly, didn’t ask for help because we managed and when we didn’t manage we’ve asked for help but only few people helped. Few of those people are still helping, they remained close to us every single month, since the beginning, to those we are owing the life of most of these animals. Of course the needs were higher than we got from donations, but we managed to cover the difference from loans taken from banks or friends and family. We owe a lot of money now, which brought us in a terrible depression, we simply can’t even think about how we will return the money back to these good people who trusted us until this spring🥺
Those who know depression, those who know failure, those who experienced loss because of lack of money, only those understand us and continue to stay close to us and help us as much as they can, but they are just a few people and I’m feeling awful every time they help again and again.
The rest of the people who are helping at times, are also a few, they are not regulars but they make a huge difference when they decide to quit on a coffee or a piece of clothing and send those money to us🥹🙏
I don’t post often anymore because I observed in the past 5 years that those who are really caring, will always stay, while those that are helping at times will always be there on and off, everyone has their own lives and my posts won’t change their needs, their daily lives, they will help when they have some spare money, be it on our animals or other charities’ animals.
Since we created the page we’ve kept quite the same number of followers, it’s just 20 persons who added up in the past 4 years, so I don’t know where my mistake is, but definitely the cause it’s not the the fact I’m posting rarely in the past year🥺
We can’t manage to give even the basic care to these innocent souls, we tried to find ways to put them in non killing public shelters but we have only two of them in the whole country and they are not accepting dogs from a different county, and no way to accept more than 2-3 dogs at a time🥺 As for the private shelters with thousands of followers and sponsors, they never have space, nor here, nor in other countries🥺 Adoptions became just an utopic dream, so we are simply witnessing the degradation of the animals health until there’s nothing else we can do for them, it happened and it will happen again😢
I can’t describe in words how depressed I am, how often dark thoughts are coming to my mind, how heavy heart I have when I’m watching my babies who once thrived, how awful the pain my soul is caring is, how difficult became to even get out of the bed, to walk, to even see properly after hours and hours of crying with a broken, defeated heart, I can’t explain all that I’m feeling inside me that can make more of you understand my daily “life”, how painful it is to get answers like life became expensive here too, we can’t help because we barely can pay our bills, even though everyone knows that, it’s painful to hear it when our bills are not paid for months, when our food is missing from the table, when we didn’t go to eat a dinner outside of our yard in the past 5 years, when our house is looking as after an war, when our animals are eating 2-3 meals in a week, it’s way to painful to read comments that are suggesting I’d be an impostor or that I should fight more for them😢 How can I fight more for them when I gave them absolutely everything we ever had, and it’s literally absolutely everything, starting with our time, heart, money, jewelries, houses, cars, everything, we sold everything for their good and we lost, we failed them in the end😢
And no, no one is owing us their care or help, it was all our decisions, but at least don’t throw stones on us, because no one really knows what we’ve been quitting on for these souls, no one really knows how many days and nights we fought to save most of their lives, how many tons of s**t we cleaned after them and how many wounds we treated😢
I am defeated, it’s not only a feeling, it’s a fact, we can’t give them more than our time and love, that’s all we can give them starting with this year and this is the reason we are forever grateful to those that are close to us every single month, it’s not an overstatement when I say that YOU are the only ones that kept our animals alive this past months🥺🙏🙏🙏
I added pictures of a little girl who Andreas couldn’t let in the fields while driving, we don’t have any possibilities to help the others that are thrown at our gate, which are also many puppies😭😭, but he couldn’t let this one in over 45 degrees heat, without any water or food, wearing that entangled fur on her and covered in fleas and ticks😢 We rescued her, even though we can’t give her more than a clean fur and little food at times😢
Life is ultra tough in Romania, prices are higher than in rest of Europe, even though our salaries are 5 times smaller, abandoned animals absolutely everywhere, pain is screaming from all pores, that’s why I don’t leave the yard more than 2-3 times per year, I simply can’t even look at the world as long as my own world is sinking 😢
Forbid my silence, forbid my inability to fight anymore, I do need help and I don’t know how to ask for it, so don’t judge, instead come with ideas that can help at least few of these animals we rescued🥺🙏
PayPal:
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Revolut:
https://revolut.me/gabipawssouls
https://www.facebook.com/donate/685566247624661/?fundraiser_source=external_url
