The Anxious Dog Trainer

28/02/2021

I am really looking forward to tomorrow! I will finally be having a group discussion about emotional intelligence!

Anyone and everyone is welcome to attend and be as an active of a participant as you would like. Feel free to have camera and mic on or off. Discuss through your mic, through chat, or not at all if listening is more your thing.

Either way, I would love for you to join me! I’ll post the Zoom link in the comments!

📷 Am I the only monster out there who writes in, scribbles notes and highlights in books? No, don’t worry, never borrowed books, only my own and only some.
This is the book Permission to Feel, which will be a part of our discussion tomorrow. Didn’t read it? Don’t worry! That’s not a problem!

01/02/2021

I am SUPER pumped about my February Schedule!

One of the things I am looking forward to the most is the book discussion. Remember how I shared that I was reading Permission to Feel? Well I finally have on the schedule a book discussion about it. Don't want to read the book, but like podcasts? I include the link for the podcast where Brene Brown interviews Marc Breckett, Ph. D. Don't want to read the book or listen to the podcast? Or maybe, like me, you have intentions to do so and the time flies.....and then you don't?

YAY!

Also, you do not have to be a client to join and participate. Everyone is welcome!

04/01/2021

Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.

As an emotional, highly sensitive and anxious person, being clear can be very difficult for me. It can be hard to clear things up with dogs, especially if they use their brown eyes on me, or have any animation that would make me feel like I was upsetting them or hurting their feelings. That made me doubt myself. Am I doing the right thing? Am I being mean? Am I hurting my dog's feelings?

The more experience I got working with dogs, the more I understood the process, the more clear I got with myself on the why, the more clear I got with my dogs.

I often find that as a trainer it is easy for me to take the leash and clear things up for the dog. I understand why I am doing it and the importance. I understand that it may not always be fun, sunshine and rainbows, but that clarity is the fairest thing for the dog.

Now, being clear to dogs is easy. It is the human component that I struggle with. It's a work in progress, so the important thing is to enjoy and learn from the process.

“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” (Quote heard from Brene Brown)

This quote hit me hard. So simple, yet so significant. And like so many other things in life, while this didn’t originate about dog training, it resonates so true in the world of working with and living with dogs.

One of the biggest problems my clients have with their dogs is being able to clear things up for the dog. In many cases it is hard for them to be clear for several different reasons, including, but not limited to the fear they have of hurting the dog’s feelings, of hurting the relationship and how their dog views them, and often times because the owner themselves is not clear.

But as this quote says, to be unclear is unkind. For our dogs, that couldn’t be more true.

If we do not clear things up for our dogs, that can often lead to frustration and upset, on both our and our dog’s part, when future behaviors develop. How can we expect our dog’s behaviors to change if we are not being clear? Remember, with every interaction we have with our dogs we are giving our dogs feedback about what we like and will allow, or what we don’t like and won’t allow. If we can’t be clear on what we like and don’t like, that’s a problem and not giving them the information they need to be successful in the future.

So how can we be clear with our dogs? By creating boundaries and reinforcing them. Another huge way to offer clarity for dogs: corrections. For so many people, the word corrections can make us cringe, feel bad, or even feel angry that people would correct a dog. But here is the thing: corrections bring clarity. They communicate and support the dog in a way that makes sense to the dog.

When I say corrections, different examples may pop in your head based on your perception and your experiences. So let me try to explain what I mean when I say corrections. First of all, it is important to note that corrections are going to be different based on the dog, the situation, the exact moment. A correction can be something so simple as blocking the dog with your leg so they can’t bolt out the door. A correction can be you giving a little tug on the leash so your dog doesn’t drag you down or hurt their trachea, it can be you pushing down on their hips, asking them to back off and giving them a tug on the leash if they don’t. Corrections can be really soft, subtle, barely noticeable to anyone watching, or they can be firm and assertive—done to clear things up.

In my personal experience, corrections provide clarity. They communicate and offer support. They can stop behaviors that left uncorrected can continue an escalate, causing more frustration and upset for both the human and the dog in the future.

Clarity is such an important part of communication. Are you being clear with your dog? Are you telling them no and supporting them in a way that is fair to them and fair to the situation? If not, what is stopping you from doing so?

If it is because you are unclear yourself on how to provide clarity for your dog, I would be happy to help you with that. Please don’t hesitate to reach out and ask.
Also feel free to look into our Ace of Space Workshop, set for Tuesday, January 26th at 7:00pm. In this workshop we will discuss the importance of setting boundaries and influencing space. Of course clarity and communication is a huge part of that!

📷 Koda, using those big brown eyes.

01/01/2021

GOODBYE 2020 🙌👏🙌

You don’t need me to tell you about 2020. We all know it was hard, a struggle, but that there were joys and good times, too.

New Years always feels exciting and this year is no exception.

I am not one to make a big resolution for the year. Instead, every year I set intentions. I try to set a single word that I can focus on, reflect on, and work towards.

For 2019 my intention was Acceptance. I wanted to work on accepting myself, my anxiety, my life. I was happy, but also struggled with coming to terms with myself and my anxiety. Through reading Permission to Feel, I have learned that I had a lot of meta-feelings, feelings about my feelings. I would feel anxious, then feel guilty about feeling anxious when my life was so great. I also judged my emotions and myself harshly, was upset or annoyed with myself a lot and I knew I needed to change that. I also was always excited for the future, and how life was going to get better. Don’t get me wrong, that can be healthy in small doses. But I would get stuck there. And that’s not healthy. It was a good year for that word and I learned a lot.

For 2020, my intention was action. There were new programs and activities I wanted to introduce and participate in, as well as some social things I wanted to do myself and with Vivien. 2020 had a way of shutting that down. Instead of changing my word, I decided to shift the meaning. Now action meant I needed to act to save my business if possible and make sure I was staying sane in a pandemic. I had to act, but in different ways. There were a lot of adjustments, and I felt a lot of appreciation. I want my action to be less busy, more productive.

For 2021 I have been debating about my intention. I have been debating between two: gratitude and release. Gratitude has been so important. I have found myself wanting to “soak” in gratitude more often this year to combat sadness, despair, loneliness, and other feeling of 2020. I would like to expand and continue on that. Release is important for me because I am learning to let s**t go. I am learning how to feel my emotions and accept them, then release them, instead of getting so caught up and stuck in them. I am learning to release insecurities, doubts, opinions of me, other’s judgements, my own judgements. I am learning to release anything that does not serve me or bring me joy. I feel like this intention, along all the others will be lifelong intentions.

So I have decided for 2021, I am going to have gratitude and release as my words. In my mindfulness journal, I took a page to write my intentions, past and present, and a summary of what they mean to me.

I hope that your year, whether you set resolutions, intentions, a goal of any sort or said screw it-let’s just survive-I hope this year is amazing and incredible.

Happy New Year!

📷 My family playing Go Fish on NYE

24/12/2020

This summer I listened to a podcast episode that was incredibly impactful. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, it probably changed my life.

It was a Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podicast episode where she interviewed Dr. Marc Brackett. I’ll post more on that podcast, and episode later (maybe a group discussion on it would be really fun!) but I wanted to take a moment to post about his book, Permission to Feel.

Immediately after listening to the podcast, I ordered his book. Funds have been tight this year, but I knew if I allowed my procrastinating self to wait, I would forget, put it off, or make excuses until it was a forgotten thing of the past. (Story of so much of my life)

When I got the book in the mail, I sat down and read 28 pages before being interrupted and having to do something else. The book was relocated to my bed stand and that’s where it has been sitting, closed, ever since.

Today I sat back down with it, cracked it open and began back at the beginning.

I’m not always the best at reading nonfiction, and if it is dry or too technical, my mind remembers I was once diagnosed with ADHD and I’m distracted again. This book is an easy and entertaining read. It’s not stuffy, boring or pretentious. The author has a way of writing that is conversational and it’s a discussion that I very much so want to be a part of.

It’s all too easy to collapse on the couch and turn on the trusty ole television to stream a show and then scroll on my phone, trapped in the narrative of I’m busy and I just want to zone out and chill. But I’m glad I left the tv off, put my phone aside and picked this book back up.

Have you read this book? If not, if it’s not obvious, I think everyone should. Every single one of you.

23/12/2020

Well, now this page is publicly shared with my business page.

Now excuse me while I go find some junk food to binge eat. 😬🤷‍♀️🤪😃

19/12/2020

I always say that every healthy relationship has boundaries.

The relationship we have with our dogs is no exception.

This can be one of the most difficult things for people to do for and with their dog: set boundaries.

Oftentimes it seems they are scared they are going to hurt the dog’s feelings.

If you have a hard time setting boundaries with your dog, it may not hurt to ask yourself why. How do you feel about boundaries? How do you feel about setting them? In the past has someone made you feel guilty?

The number one question I get around boundaries is “how can I set them without hurting someone’s feelings or without offending them?”

The answer is: you might not be able to.

How a person reacts to boundaries will allow you to witness their attachment wounding. How you respond to other people’s boundaries will allow you to witness your own.

Attachment wounding is an emotional wound that in childhood with parent-figures. When our physical, spiritual, + emotional needs aren’t met.

When these needs aren’t met, we carry deep fear of emotional abandonment.

So, when people set boundaries with us we feel rejected, abandoned, + unworthy because we aren’t able to see boundaries for what they actually are: an act of self care.

Boundaries are for us. They’re our clear limits.

How people respond is for them.

What is your biggest struggle with boundaries?

18/12/2020

After a private lesson with a client the other day, my client noted that they may need some therapy for them in order to help them help their dog.

I may have responded a little too enthusiastically, but I was like, YES! Absolutely! The more we work on ourselves, the better able we will be to help ourselves and therefor our dogs!

A majority of dog training is how we live our lives with our dogs and who we are! I would even argue that’s the most important training we are doing.

By being more mindful of our actions, our energy and what we are rewarding and encouraging in the dog, that is going to help us be more successful!

I have often “joked” that dog training is like couples therapy to an extent. You can’t just take your dog to training and expect the trainer to fix it. That’s not how it works. We have to work on ourselves as well.

We have to become who are dogs need us to be and we have to do what our dogs need us to do.

There is nothing wrong with therapy. In an ideal world, everyone would look at having a therapist or mental health support as important as having a physician.

16/12/2020

I used to believe that anxious people were flighty, panicky, hyper stressed people that were always flurried and flustered.

As I have gotten older and learned more about anxiety, and the fact that I have anxiety, I have realized that I have had anxiety for a very long time...probably starting in middle school and high school.

All of the ways listed below are ways that my anxiety manifests and shows.

Learning about this has helped me gain more of an understanding and awareness that has been incredibly helpful for me.

When working dogs, if I feel myself more anxious, it is oftentimes helpful for me to stop and put the dog away until I can take some time to get in a better state of mind. If I am in the middle of a walk or a place where that is not an option, I will often try to take some deep breaths and ground myself, take some steps back in my training and lessen my criteria. It has helped me to not focus on training in the session, but instead being and making it through. Mindfully trying to change my energy can be helpful as well.

16/12/2020

I am an anxious person.

I have anxiety and am wildly insecure. I am not a natural leader and I do not like to be a leader. I'm not assertive and confrontation, even when needed, makes me uncomfortable. Setting boundaries isn't always my strong suit. Often times I ramble and sidetrack, get distracted and tell long stories. Because of this communicating clearly and concisely can be tough. I am spacey and distracted, getting stuck in the present or stuck in the future.

I am naturally all of the things that do not make me a good dog trainer.

But because of the dogs, I have been pushed to work on myself. I have had to become the person dogs need me to be. Even if that means faking it.

And I feel like I have helped a lot of dogs. And I'm so grateful for all those dogs and the opportunities they have given me to learn and grow as a person.

In training dogs I have learned so much about myself. And I have had to work on myself.

After all, if you want to change the dog you have to change yourself.

But you can't change yourself if you're not aware and not in acceptance. And if you can't help yourself or the people, you can't help the dogs.

I need to help the people in order to help the dogs. I need to help myself in order to help the people.

I am hoping that by sharing my experiences, my struggles, my goals and what I have been able to accomplish with dogs, I can help other people help themselves and then help their dogs.

16/12/2020

Obedience is about changing and controlling the dog's behavior.

Behavior modification is about changing and controlling the human's behavior.

This has been a thought that keeps coming to mind throughout the day.

My training used to be obedience oriented, with the focus on changing the dog's behavior. Obviously the owner had to work on their handling as well, but the emphasis was heavily on the dog.

As my training has changed to no longer focus on, and then to no longer include, obedience, owners have had a hard time letting go of the need to use obedience to control their dog and manage the behavior.

I don't blame them at all! Honestly, it is a lot easier to focus on changing others instead of digging deep inside to see how we need to change ourselves.

While we are being honest, I believe the best results we get from working with our dogs come after we work on ourselves. It helps to start off with self reflection.

What are we doing to create this behavior with our dogs?

What are we doing to set our dogs up for failures or success?

What are we allowing from our dogs?

Are we being mindful in our interactions with our dogs?

Are we being good advocates that set boundaries and influence space? Or are we just being roommates and best friends?

Are we fulfilling our dog's needs and taking the time to give them what they need before fulfilling our needs through our dogs by cuddling, snuggling and emotion dumping?

Do we seek out and encourage our dogs to emotionally validate us by loosing their mind with excitement when they see us or when we leave?

Take some time to reflect on your behavior and your whys to figure out why your dog is behaving the way they are.

16/12/2020

My name is Jana Nichols. I am a certified Canine Training and Behavior Specialist. I have been professionally training for 12 years this coming May 2021.

I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with thousands of client and rescue dogs during this time period, as well as living with a pack of dogs typically ranging from 8-18 dogs (sometimes more) at a time in my home. To say I am grateful for all of the experience I have had would be an understatement.

When I first started out as a dog trainer, there were already well known and established dog trainers in the area that people were taking their dogs to. Meeting with potential clients I was always questioned my age and experience and then told they had owned dogs longer than I had been alive. This led me to focus on something I was very passionate about to help give back while gaining experience: I volunteered with the local humane society to work their dogs. I went to the shelter and asked what their most "difficult" dogs were, then loaded them up, and took them home to foster and train.

Not long after, I got a reputation for being able to handle and help more difficult dogs. I even got some vet clinics who would recommend people contact me before euthanizing their dogs or surrendering them.

Because of this, I was helping dogs that had behavior concerns such as anxiety, aggression, hyperactivity, bad manners. I was able to keep dogs in their homes and help the people.

Over the years, my training has changed. And I changed of course. The more I worked with the dogs, the more I was understanding the importance of the relationship the dog has with the person. I also was beginning to place more value on relationship and behavior until I eventually stopped training obedience and focused on them completely.

If we want to change our dog's behavior, we have to change our behavior. We have to become the person our dog needs us to be. Until we can do those things we may not get the results that we would like, and gains that we have made may be short term.

This brings me to the point of this long winded post:

Dog training has changed who I am as a human being. I have had to work incredibly hard on myself. It has been a struggle, it has been frustrating, infuriating, enlightening, scary and powerful. But who I am as a dog trainer cannot be separated from who I am as a person.

So in order to help dogs, and help people, I had to become the person my dogs needed me to be.

This page is about my self journey (that feels so cheesy to type out) and how I have and how I am working on myself. I feel like in order to help the dogs I have to help the people. I can only help the people when I help myself. By sharing this experience, it is my hope that I can help people who can relate to my story and in turn, help their dogs.

Many thanks and much love,
The Anxious Dog Trainer