Nizhoni Maine Coons

21/11/2022

Unfortunately with circumstances, I have to downsize. Therefore Lexus will be looking for her new family. She was born 19.9.21. She is currently not spayed but will be before she goes to any pet home. She is a very confident girl. Not shy at all. I bred her myself.

I will turn off comments as I don’t want lots of comments asking how much. Please message me.

29/06/2022

If this cat doesn’t move her ass she will end up with a sizzled tail.

18/06/2022

My Pepsi is growing bigger every time I look at her. 😍

11/06/2022

10/04/2022

New litter of Cava C***s expected in two months. Wonder if they will come out with curly hair 😂

20/03/2022

Pepsi trying to get the ball as he throws in.

18/02/2022

Barry is seeking his forever home. Hampshire.

15/02/2022

Pepsi snuggling in on this horrible day.

07/02/2022

Pepsi 💓

05/02/2022

Everyone tries to get as close to William as they can

02/02/2022

Barry 💙

02/02/2022

Barry - looking for his new family

02/02/2022

Pepsi

26/01/2022

Goose … ready for his new home from 9 February. 💙

20/01/2022

Goose 💙

12/01/2022

Barry is now looking for his new family. He won’t be ready to go until middle of February. He is a gorgeous little boy who has been hand raised since he was 2 weeks old.

11/01/2022

Congratulations on acquiring your new Maine C**n. Please find the instructions for your particular model as each model varies slightly.

Although your Maine C**n comes fully assembled, due to particular issues during production we do occasionally have issues with components such as loose screws, or in some cases those screws missing altogether.

There are various modes your Maine C**n can be set to:-

Mode 1 – The Sleep Mode – can be activated for most of the day. This is normal and you should not worry. In fact you should appreciate the peace when Sleep Mode is activated.

Mode 2 – Anarchy Mode - As much as I have tried to ease the effect of anarchy it is not always possible. There are inherent issues with the timer settings of the Anarchy Mode, in regards they were missed off the installation. Should your Maine C**n suddenly go from comatose to running around the walls, this feature cannot sadly be altered.

Mode 3 – Zoomies Mode – also known as Frantic Random Activity Periods – FRAPs. A case of the FRAPs is exhibited when your Maine C**n will have unmistakable high explosions of energy – running round in circles, running from room to room, scrambling up the curtains. There are many reasons this can happen, the source is still being worked on but manufacturing fails to find this fault. Please be aware though this seems to be a common behaviour and therefore I respectfully ask you not to contact me as Customer Services.

Mode 4 – Reset Function – To be read in conjunction with the other Modes. Each Maine C**n I supply comes with a reset function which runs alongside Mode 1. The reset function will also automatically kick in after long periods of Modes 2 and 3, after long periods of exercise and after food. This reset function is an essential part of the Maine C**n equipment and it allows correct operation and longevity of your cat. Regeneration is facilitated in this Mode and is optimised when lying motionless taking up the sofa. WARNING – After a period of time in this Mode your Maine C**n will start on Modes 2 and 3 again, thus restarting the cycle.

Sunlight – Do not allow your Maine C**n to stay in the sun too long. They could end up getting sunburnt so always just be aware. As well as potential sunburn, too much sun can also recharge those batteries and this can lead to Anarchy Mode being activated.

Energy Consumption – This has been an ongoing issue as their energy consumption is too direct. We have updated the model various times; as such on Update 15.9 we installed non return valves, but no update seems to work adequately. It is safe to say what goes in, must come out. The higher quality food, the less lethal the gas and solids are smelt the other end. This however passes after a period of up to 20 minutes, after which the owner can then breathe again unaided.

Although your Maine C**n will have been named by myself in the house, you as the new owner are of course able to choose your own name going forward. If you need suggestions of a name I have listed some below that other others have found useful:-

Calm Down
Get Down
FFS
Jesus
What the Hell
S**t Head

Zipper – Although their hair covers their zipper I ask you the new owner not to go looking for it or open it. Failing to leave this alone will invalidate the 1 hour warranty that comes with each and every kitten. Rumours that these cats are merely toddlers in a cat suit are still highly contested and many conspiracy theories abound.

Software – Your Maine C**n has been pre-installed at birth with the latest software – that includes two chips – the microchip and the loyalty chip, the love the one who feeds me most chip, the fun chip and of course the most popular mayhem chip. Currently they are all working on model 15.9 operating system – I call it the Whatthehell System.

I hope you have many years of fun and happiness with your Maine C**n but please be advised that by the time you have read this far your warranty will have expired. I do not renew warranties and do not offer refunds or returns – ever. As each Maine C**n leaves for their new home a sigh of relief is given and the curtains are re-stitched.

I hope this instruction manual is fully self explanatory. However, should you have any questions you can contact me on 1-800-What-Did-I-Do.

In the meantime I thank you for your ownership, love and patience for taking on your little Maine C**n beast and I hope you cherish them and make as many memories as possible with them. The trouble you may encounter with them you are repaid in bucket loads with laughter and love. You will never have another cat like a Maine C**n.

03/01/2022

Little Robin - got to give him credit. He took this chick and owned it … despite ALL of the other much larger cats circling him like a load of great whites. Any of the adults could have swiped him with their paw and he’s so little he would have gone rolling across the floor. His growl would give any male lion a run for his money. He couldn’t quite manage to eat it properly yet, he’s still so tiny but by god did he defend his corner. 💙

03/01/2022

When they knock over the kitty cam in the room so these are the only views you see whilst you are at work

01/01/2022

Maverick

29/12/2021

Ranger 💤💤

29/12/2021

Little Elise - my last afternoon with her as she is off to start her own adventures with her new family this evening 😢😘💞