05/07/2024
A word I wish we would remove from our vocabularies is the word "fine."
I routinely hear dogs being labeled as "fine" when they are in fact shut down, nervous, upset, tolerating, or uncomfortable.
"Fine" should not be the standard we aim for when it comes to how a dog is managing.
The goal should not be that the dog is tolerant of what is happening to or around them, rather, we should ensure that the dog is genuinely comfortable and accepting of it.
Let's take something as innocent as petting.
Humans pet dogs as a way of greeting, to provide attention, or to show affection, but how many dogs actually like to be pet?
Or if they do, are we sure that they want to be pet by THAT person in THAT very moment?
A dog should be permitted to enjoy an activity, such as petting, but still not wish to partake in that activity all the time, or with every person they come across. They should be given a choice, and be permitted control over what happens to their body (and when/by whom.)
Very rarely are our dogs given the chance to vote on the matter.
As dog guardians we can do better for our dogs.
* Look at their body language (all of it, not just their presence in the moment) to determine how your dog might be feeling.
If you're unsure what their body language is telling you, take the chance to learn more about this subtle, but vital communication.
* Give your dog agency by allowing THEM to initiate interactions with others, should they choose.
This might look as simple as instructing guests to ignore the dog (you'll want to specify what this looks like), and only engage in petting if the dog approaches them and ASKS for this attention (nudge, nose bump, etc.)
* Perform regular "consent checks" to see if the dog wants the interaction to continue.
I like to teach a 3 pets and pause rule. Pet 3 times, ideally on a "neutral" area such as the shoulder or chest, and then withdraw your hand and stop. What does the dog do next? Do they bump your hand in outrage? You're probably OK to continue.
Dogs shouldn't have to tolerate life just because we want them to. They are sentient beings with feelings and preferences that deserve to be respected.
Be your dog's voice.
