Indiana Bones & Friends - Adventures of a Therapy Dog

10/11/2023

A STRESSFUL DAY…

So today didn’t go as planned.
The first sign that all was not well was when I headed downstairs this morning and Indie wasn’t there.
He’s usually barking, and shouting and dancing at the bottom of the stairs for me. It’s our morning ritual.
He runs around like a buffoon, stumbles out the door, throws himself on his raised bed to do some morning scratches and then heads back inside to have some breakfast and his meds.

Today he was not there. When I went in the lounge, he was lying there with his ears flat to his head. ‘Uh oh’ I thought. Something is very wrong. Initially I thought he was feeling just generally crap from the chemo yesterday. He hasn’t show this before but it could be the cumulative effect.

So I made his breakfast (which he wolfed down) and then I sat down in the lounge to do some
admin for the next couple of hours.

It was only when I was sorting some laundry that I noticed it: his left front paw and ankle was swollen. Significantly swollen. Double the size of his other. He was standing on it strangely. Clearly in agony.

I rang the vets in a panic. Was this a reaction? Was the cancer spreading?

We got an emergency apt and we were there within 15mins. I saw a vet that didn’t know us so began the long explanation of Indie’s treatment and underlying conditions. It’s pretty exhausting when we initially see someone that we haven’t met before. It can take forever to give them the lowdown on his meds, his quirks, his normal….

Initially there was some scary options thrown out there but eventually, after a second visit and examination in the same day, we think the reaction could be due to his treatment a week ago. You see, Indie moved whilst being given the chemo. This caused irritation to the site and some the chemo to land outside the vein. The most likely cause WE THINK is that the swelling has been happening gradually and today it’s really obvious.

So treatment options? Well the important thing here is to bring the swelling down. We are going to use steroid spray on the skin and most likely steroid tablets if that doesn’t work. There may be side effects but needs just to get him more comfortable. We also need to reassess his pain meds (which I know we do) as the one he is on doesn’t seem effective at the moment.

So armed with tablets, spray and determination, I’m facing this weekend with a bit of anxiety.

After such a great chemo session yesterday, I feel so deflated to have this to deal with. It’s most likely going to mean more delays in treatment and more worry about medications when I just thought we had a routine sorted.

But Indie remains stoic and seems a little happier this evening so fingers crossed this is just a blip and the swelling goes down overnight ❤️

10/11/2023

CHEMO 3 AND THE FALL OUT

Yesterday, our lovely boy had his third round of chemo.
We had been worried that his white blood cell count would drop dramatically again but this time it remained steady so he was able to have his chemo as planned. This was a relief as it meant his body had adjusted to the treatment and was ready for it this time. Even so, I was nervous as this would be the first time he had two treatments in consecutive weeks and he was still very achy from the week before as he is in the sit position for the treatment. This isn’t great for his hips and so he suffers a bit for this the day after and beyond.

The treatment went very well and Indie came bounding out of his treatment room at the end of it, ready for his lunch ❤️

This morning, for the first time, Indie was very quiet and subdued. He usually shouts and runs about when I come down the stairs in the morning (and brings me his beloved ‘papple’ toy) but today he looked sad. I won’t lie, I panicked.

Was the chemo finally taking its toll? Was he feeling sick? Was he in pain?
I checked the lounge for any vomit or toilet accidents. All looked good. I let him out and noticed he was moving very carefully and slowly so it seems he’s just feeling achy.

Thankfully his appetite remains excellent so he has a good breakfast and his pain meds so I’m hoping to see a general improvement as the day goes on. We will be having a couple of short walks today to give him a stretch but not overdo it.

My wonderful vets have referred me to a chronic pain vet clinic in Preston. He looks at a multi modal approach to pain including acupuncture and prescription CBD oil, so I’m excited to find out what options we might have.

As mentioned previously, Indie has lost a lot of muscle mass due to not being able to attend hydrotherapy since his initial biopsy of the tumour which was months ago. The muscle was key to his pain relief plan, keeping his knackered joints nice and stable. Without the muscle, the pain is more intense so we need to look at other ways to decrease his pain in order for him to be more comfortable moving (which in turn increases muscle mass).

We have been offered an injection treatment called Librela which is a monoclonal antibody (a protein) which is designed to recognise and attach to a protein called Nerve Growth Factor (NGF). Once attached, it prevents the NGF from attaching to its receptors on nerve cells and interrupts the transmission of pain signals.

It all sounds very fancy and in a lot of dogs there have been great results. But I also know many dogs that have had problems with this drug and I am not comfortable starting something like this whilst Indie is undergoing chemo. It will make side effects very hard to spot for either treatment.

So I would like to exhaust all other options that might pose less risk before coming back to this. It’s not off the table.

There is also some evidence to suggest that Librela might cause immune suppression (as the protein blocking happens in parts of the body they are not needed as well - they don’t discriminate) so this is definitely not a welcome side effect for a chemo patient.

Hopefully we’ll find a solution to get Indie more comfortable.

But today will be focused on resting and recovery. Lots of good food and short walks in the sunshine (yes, it has stopped raining for 5mins)!
I really hope I’ll be greeted by my smiley boy again tomorrow morning 🥰

02/11/2023

CHEMO #2.....FINALLY.

Well, we finally got some good news yesterday.
Indie's white blood cell count was now 5.9 - much higher than the minimum of 2.2 to have chemotherapy and a massive improvement from last week. It seems that 14 days post treatment was his lowest point and then things started to improve from there.

So today we made our way back to the vets (with a starved Indiana) for his second round of chemo. I have to say how welcoming the staff are at White Cross vets. They make what could be a terribly stressful experience seem easy and hassle-free. We've now got into a good routine of using Indie's portable ramps to get in and out of the car, and a vet nurse or receptionist is always on hand to help me get him back in the car after treatment.

Today, the nurse had set up a room downstairs with a bed and all of Indie's bits and pieces so he would be comfortable during the procedure. On arrival at 10.30am, I signed the usual forms and he was given the anti sickness injection while I was still there. It has to be administered at least 1hour before the chemo. He also can't have too much food or water to prevent any nausea. I did leave him a packed lunch (as usual) in case he wanted to eat afterwards.

Cut to about 12.30pm and the procedure was over. The vet said that it had all gone well but that Indie was a bit more wriggly this time so the site of the canula could be irritated or swollen. Thankfully, if it did become an issue and Indie was licking the area, I could get some steroid cream to sort this out. But to keep an eye on it just in case.

I realised that the most likely cause of him being wriggly was the position he was in for chemo. I double checked and he was in a 'sit' position. Unfortunately, Indie finds being in a sit for too long quite a strain on his hips so I suggested to the vet that, if it was possible, to administer the chemo in a lie down position. He is much more comfortable in this position and will stay pretty still regardless of whats going on. He said he would definitely try that next time, but I will remind the nurse when we arrive just in case they forget!

Indie was pretty wired on leaving the vets this time. He had eaten and was full of energy. He was also pretty whiney which is unlike him. We went straight out for a walk and this seemed to calm him down. He was also able to have a poo (or 4) which must have been a relief!

Now we just wait to see what happens. Hopefully he will have minimal side effects like last time. I am also hoping, now his system has already experienced the treatment, that his white blood cell count doesn't drop quite so low as last time and delays the next treatment.

I know, I know....I promised that I would just take one week at a time and this was a process blah blah...but it's really hard to not keep counting the treatments and weeks and maybe have a glimpse of a time when he doesn't have to visit the vets for more needles and treatment and shaving and no swimming.

The biggest worry continues to be his mobility. With the weather turning colder and wetter, his arthritis always flares up more. But in previous years, we have had hydro to fall back on. With such a huge loss of muscle (around 3-4kg) around both his front and back end, he is visibly struggling to rise from lying down and it is taking far more effort. It is hard to watch sometimes and I find myself helping get his legs underneath him at times as I can't bare to see him in discomfort. The spread out pain meds, two walks and home hydro seems to be helping but his mobility still remains my key concern throughout this treatment.

Hopefully we can maintain him enough the next few weeks/months to get him back to hydro. His physio, Tilly, visited on Monday to give me some strength exercises to do, so I'm hoping to start those when he's feeling more normal this weekend ❤️

26/10/2023

ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK...
Sorry for the radio silence folks.

We didn't have too much to report (thankfully) but the main headlines are:
We have created a home pool for Indie to continue some form of hydro in. He's losing muscle very quickly on his back legs and so he's becoming very wobbly....which is a massive worry. As I've said before, there's no point in putting Indie through chemo if he is lame at the end of it.

So we are aiming to work him in the pool once per week. It's warm water (between 29-32 degrees) and the idea is to walk him around the perimeter in both directions to build muscle. He loves water so getting him to go in is not an issue. It's really important though, in any hydro scenario, to show the dog how to safely get in and out...which we are failing at miserably in this video 🤣 But it gave me a good idea of what equipment we needed to make entering and getting out of the pool much easier. And he bloody loved it!

Hopefully a more effective session is on the cards next week.

In terms of his chemo treatment, we are currently on hold. We should have been on session 3 this week but unfortunately he is still yet to have his second treatment.

The reason for this is that his white blood cell count continues to be too low. According to our vet, this can happen 7-14 days after treatment (today was 14 days since his first chemo treatment) and so we would hope that the white blood cell count would be on the rise from now onwards. I hope.

In himself, he is absolutely fine. No real change. Maybe a little slower on walks (and more vigilant about his surroundings) but lethargy is a symptom of the low WBCC so I'm not worrying too much about this. He is still happy and playful and that's what matters. He also has a phenomenal appetite.

Interestingly, the mast cell tumour on his side has shrunk. This is a side effect of the chemo (which is a good sign) and is a relief that the tumour shouldn't require a massive surgery to remove. The chemo is obviously still active in his system (hence the low WBCC and smaller tumour) and this makes me feel alot more positive. My main worry about this pause inbetween the first and second chemo treatment is risk of spread to his internal organs. But it's clear the chemo is still doing it's job so you have to concentrate on the positives.

Unfortunately things continue to become more and more costly as he still requires a blood test each week (to see if he can have further chemo) and the bloods/labs are actually the most expensive part of the treatment (around £300) which is a consideration for anyone wanting to go down this route.

But it's worth every penny if it continues to give him this quality of life.

It has forced me to change my mindset about this whole process. Initially my thoughts were 'get the 8 sessions of chemo done and dusted and then it's over' but that just isn't practical due to all the variables involved. So I've had to think more along the lines of 'this is a process. Relax. Indie is happy. Take each week at a time and when his body is ready, do the next treatment.' This change in attitude is actually quite liberating and has made me less stressed overall.

Fingers crossed we get the green light next Wednesday for another treatment ❤️

19/10/2023

ALL THE BEST LAID PLANS...
So today was Indie's second chemo session.

It all started out so well:
Got up.
Took a urine sample (avoided being peed on/ignored the neighbours giving me funny looks).
Ignored Indie's sad little face at having no breakfast.
Made him slightly happier by feeding a small amount of cooked chicken (with hidden meds - what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him!)
Made him up a packed lunch for after chemo
Sorted the boot and his ramp

I was interested to see if Indie would be happy enough going back in the vets after last time. I needn't have worried. He didn't give a hoot!

Off he trotted into the surgery and they had his own room ready for him downstairs (as they remembered the stairs are not a favourite of his).

We went through the usual disclaimers and I signed my life away.
Bloods first. Results. Then if ok, anti sickness and then chemo.

So off I went to do some shopping - anything really to take my mind off things.

Unfortunately I got a call about an hour later. That only meant one thing. There was an issue with his bloods.

Sure enough, Frazier the vet confirmed that chemo could not go ahead as Indie's white blood cell count was too low. The minimum reading they need for chemo is 2.2 and his was 1.6. I knew this was a possible side effect but he hadn't shown any symptoms (loss of appetite, temperature etc....) so assumed all was well. Thankfully he did not deem it necessary to put Indie on antibiotics as he was well with no temperature.
Instead we were to monitor him for any changes and come back next week. This would allow time for the white blood cell count to hopefully rise again.

I asked the question as to whether this would happen each time. I envisaged a 12 weeks chemo protocol turning into 6 months plus at this rate.
He said that there was a good chance Indie would become more used to the drug and his white blood cell count would stabilise over time (good news) but we would just have to take it week by week.

We did get some good news. The rest of his bloods showed no changed and there were actually some improvements in the concentration of his urine and other levels relating to his kidney function. This was music to my ears.

My next question related to the other tumour. This would delay his surgery - was there a possbility of spread in that time?

Again Frazer said that he had researched this and found that vets often use chemo before surgery to shrink tumours to a more manageable size, so the treatment should help to prevent spread and increase in size. Another relief.

I picked up Indie straight away and he came bounding out into the reception area like he was having the time of his life 😍 It was then I realised that Indie is viewing this as some kind of adventure. I was the one stressing for the both of us. Which was a relief really. I don't mind carrying the burden, as long as he continues being his happy, silly, carefree self.

Unfortunately I still had to pay for the chemo medication as it had been ordered in especially for Indie. This was fair enough and I knew would be the case but it wasn't part of my budgeting so that's going to hurt later down the line. Thankfully the vet has come up with a plan to prevent that happening again. From now on, Indie will visit on Wednesday mornings for his bloods and if they are ok, the chemo gets ordered for the next day. This made sound sense to me.

We came home and he wolfed down his lunch. We headed out for a nice walk in the sun and it was nice to just relax and enjoy each other's company.

I confess, I did turn Indie into a pumpkin for all of 5 minutes when we got home... but it didn't last long as he fancied a snooze and who am I to deprive him from such luxuries?

All in all, it wasn't the day we had planned but it wasn't too shabby. Yes, I am disappointed that we aren't further along on the protocol and we have to wait but there is no way we would push him through and sacrifice his health for the sake of sticking to the dates. That would be totally counterproductive.

The mantra I keep repeating is 'day by day, week by week.' This mindset is completely foreign to me as I am a planner. I like to make a plan, stick to the plan, carry out the plan and then plan for the next plan. I like to tick boxes and check off things on the 'to do' list.

But this is not always a healthy mindset to have and quickly leads to burnout (and wondering where the past 40 years of your life have gone). So this is all a good lesson in patience and playing the long game.

18/10/2023

IT NEVER RAINS BUT IT POURS...
It's the eve of Indie's second chemo treatment 😍 He has had a fantastic week with no visible side effects. I was so frightened of what I would see after the first treatment...I couldn't have hoped for better.

He is also going on a couple of walks per day (instead of one longer one) and upped his pain meds slightly to keep him more mobile.

He's been eating well, toileting well, wanting to play as normal and sleeping soundly. I was starting to feel rather positive about the whole thing.

But then we got a phone call from the vet...

You see, last week at his first chemo treatment, I made an off the cuff remark about a small skin tag I noticed on his side. I'd noticed it months ago but it was tiny and I kept losing it in his fur so we weren't able to do a biopsy. But I found it last week and showed Frazer (our chemo vet). He said he would perform a fine needle aspirate (biopsy) and send off for analysis. Great.

I had forgotten all about it. Until today.

Turns out, this measly little skin tag is another mast cell tumour (see photo below). The dried blood is from where the biopsy was taken - apologies to anyone with a weak stomach. But take that blood staining away and it is a measly nothing that you wouldn't look twice at. I've seen stuff like this all the time during my years of grooming dogs. It does make you wonder how many dogs are just wandering around with mast cell tumours on their bodies...

Unfortunately the chemo alone won't solve this problem. It needs to be surgically removed. Thankfully, with it being on his side, he won't need a specialist surgeon as before. However the surgery will need to take place during his chemo protocol and whatever risks that may throw up. With it being on his side, there are good margins and lots of stretchy skin to close the wound with little tension. This is good news.

According to Frazer, he has researched surgery during chemo and can't find anything too worrying. It may mean slightly slowed healing of the wound but hopefully that will be it. He explained that he would do internal AND external stitches to strengthen the wound opening.

Indie's surgery, if all goes smoothly, will take place on the 16th Nov (during his scheduled chemo break).

I was so hoping that he would have a full fortnight off visiting the vets but now we face surgery and recuperation and any after care of the wound.

Not to mention the cost. The surgery is an unforeseen financial hurdle. I did speak to our insurance company today but things are unclear as to whether this will be covered. It remains to be seen.

I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed today. I had just got my head around my dog having chemo. Now I need to deal with chemo and surgery and recovery. And more nights on the sofa (or on the deflating airbed that swallows me whole!)

When they say that cancer sucks, they really aren't joking. It's neverending. I feel like I'm sticking him together with sellotape.

But he's still happy and comfortable and non-plussed about all this fussing so all is well in Indie's world. I wish it was in mine.

Wish him luck for tomorrow and chemo round #2. We really need to kick cancer's butt!

13/10/2023

JUST BECAUSE WE CAN, DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULD…

This phrase has been going around in my head for weeks. Why?
Because we’ve been trying to make a decision as to whether to pursue chemo or not.

It seems a straightforward decision: high grade mast cell tumour, with a mutated gene and removal of the tumour without the necessary margins (due to its placement). Most likely cancerous cells were left behind in the paw and they had the ability to spread and quickly.

Chemo seems the obvious choice.

But chemotherapy in dogs works slightly differently to humans. It is used in low, therapeutic doses in order to slow the cancer but not cure it at all costs (as with humans). So the chemo won’t necessarily cure the cancer, but it MIGHT put it into remission for a while at best. Or slow it down at worst.

Still sounds good? Well yes, I suppose it does.

Then comes the cost. Each chemo session for Indie costs £465… and he has to have 8 sessions to complete the protocol. That’s £3720 over 3 months. No small amount. And our insurance is almost gone for this condition. So we will rely on credit cards and any savings.

Then there is the possible side effects: low immunity/white blood cell count, digestive issues, constipation or diarrhoea, mouth ulcers, lethargy, hair loss etc. All things that could make for an unpleasant experience for several months.

Then there’s the procedure itself: 5 hours at the vets with bloods being taken, shaved leg, a cannula inserted, other dogs and cats around, lots of strangers in gowns and masks, being starved for hours, restricted movement… it’s not the vets fault. This is the way it has to be for this kind of procedure. The dog in question would have to be happy to be handled, particularly their legs. And from being in dog grooming for 12 years, the majority of dogs would have issue with this.

These are just some of the factors we had to consider when deciding on treatment.

But the alternative? To leave Indie alone. Do nothing. Let him live out his life as long as he is still enjoying it.

I tortured myself over this decision. He is fine in himself. If the cancer has already spread, you wouldn’t know it. He could continue with his swimming (not possible with chemo) which would keep his legs nice and strong which is a real consideration for us. If Indie loses too much muscle, he will be in too much pain to walk and will go lame. And saving him from cancer would be fruitless anyway.

So why did we go ahead with the chemo? Because we wanted to give him the best chance at living a longer, quality life. If the meds didn’t agree with him, or he couldn’t tolerate the procedure itself, we stop. Simple as that. And as soon as that happens, the side effects will subside and we will stick with Plan A. Let him live out his life.

We have nothing to lose but possibly much to gain.

The importance here is observation. Every week we watch him closely for side effects. We make sure he is still able to do what he enjoys with little restriction. His bloods are tested to ensure he is stable and healthy enough to continue. We take every precaution to ensure his legs remain pain free and mobile. This has included bringing onboard a physio and buying a small paddling pool to work him in a couple of times per week to build and retain muscle mass.

We have done everything we can. The rest is up to him.

A vet friend of mine said to me recently ‘just because we can, doesn’t mean we should’ and that is what I’m measuring everything by at the moment.

We are not just doing this because we can. We are doing this because we think Indie would want us to fight for him. To give him a chance at being here for longer. But most importantly, make sure that his quality of life doesn’t suffer.

If doing the chemo costs him his happiness, then we are being selfish.

Looking at the video below, you wouldn’t know that he had had chemo yesterday. And that is exactly what we want ❤️

One day at a time, my lad. One day at a time.

12/10/2023

CHEMO - ROUND #1
Well....what a day!

I won't lie....I've been a basketcase for the past 24hours thinking about today and what may happen. I have done all the reading, asked all my vet friends questions and been soul searching for answers - waiting for someone to just come along and tell me that what we are doing is right. But, of course, no one can do that because no one can predict the future. All we can do is make the best of a bad situation. I'll write a separate post another time on my thoughts about the ethics surrounding chemo and the treatment of dogs with cancer in general as there seems to be very divided opinion.

All I can say is that Indie did me very proud today. He's always been excellent going to the vets and being handled by strangers but with his legs being sore, I wondered if he would be more reluctant. I needn't have worried.

He greeted the lovely nurse on arrival as if he'd known her all his life. She then went through all the disclaimers I had to sign and I asked a million questions about the procedure. He had had to be starved so he was none too happy about that. Thankfully he could have his pain meds as normal.

The procedure would be this:
-Bloods and urine testing
-Results an hour later
-Anti sickness meds given
-Canula inserted and fluids given during the time the chemo is administered.

Can you believe that the chemo fluid is only 2mls?! That is a tiny amount. I can only imagine how powerful it is!

Then the nurse told me that the chemo area was upstairs and I had a sudden panic because Indie doesn't do stairs. But we managed it with me supporting his back end. For future apts, we have worked out a plan for him to be treated downstairs which would be far better :)

Then we went into the kennel area and he happily went into his pod which surprised me massively as he's never really been crate trained (although we have got him used to enclosed areas using safety gates and barriers). He didn't seem bothered by this.

I left his food with the nurse for after treatment and then left.

I knew that if I heard something after an hour, it would most likely mean a problem with his bloods/urine sample and the chemo couldn't go ahead. Thankfully we went past the hour mark and beyond so I knew the treatment was in progress.

I then got tagged in this lovely post (see below) by my friend, Kate (who also has Indie's sister, Mabel). This really brightened my afternoon. Seeing the whole team surrounding my boy and giving him loves was just what I needed. I was in Tesco when I received it and I nearly burst into tears.

I received a call to say the chemo had gone well and Indie had been brilliant. He would stay in for observation for an hour and then we could pick him up at 3pm. Oh, and he had wolfed down his food and all their treats so his appetite wasn't suffering!

On pick up, he came bounding out through the door, dragging the nurse with him 🤣

He's now fast asleep on the rug as usual which is so comforting to see. I just hope he continues like this with minimal side effects. The only evidence of his treatment that you can see is the bald (and rather bloody) patch on his front leg where the canula was. Apart from that, he looks ok.

Our next session is next Thursday at 8.45am. Fingers crossed we have a good week and this can go ahead as planned.

We are determined to beat this cancer and give Mr Indie more quality time 😍

Today we have beautiful Indiana in with us
🐾🖤

This brave boy begins his Chemotherapy journey after having a mast cell tumour removed on his paw earlier in the year

He now begins his 8 week treatment plan with us where we will take regular blood tests, urine tests and administer his Chemo on a weekly basis

Coming into the clinic can be very daunting for both the patient and their owners, we always try to make this experience as stress free as possible...in Indianas case this involves lots of cuddles and gravy bones 🥰

10/10/2023

PRE-CHEMO CHECK UP AND REALITY CHECK...
So today we visited our new vets in preparation for Indie's first chemo session.
As we hadn't met this vet before, I had to run through Indie's complex medical history which took longer than expected. They had allocated half an hour for us but it took closer to 45 minutes - I'm sure the people in the waiting room loved us!

Frazer the vet asked us various questions about his current meds and health. We looked at the tumour wound (healing nicely) and concerns over thyroid and kidneys.

Finally we got down to the nitty gritty of what the chemo entailed and what the fall out could be. I asked if chemo would cure his cancer. In short, the answer is unknown.

You see, chemo is used differently in animals. It is used to prolong and improve life and not cure at all costs, unlike in humans. This means the dosage is lower and (in theory) the side effects are less. However, he did say there might be side effects such as: stomach upset, sloppy poos, constipation, hair loss, lethargy, sickness and vomiting, mouth ulcers.... I did explain that the oncologist mentioned these but stated that they were rare (backed up by my internet research) however the vet didn't seem so certain on that. I suppose he is covering his back which is understandable. There is a chance that Indie will fall into that small group so best to air on the side of caution.

In terms of logistics, Indie will need to be starved (not his favourite). Then he will come in and have blood tests run. The bloods will take a couple of hours to come back. Once they have been analysed and the vet is happy, he will be given anti sickness meds and then the chemo will be administered. The whole session should take a couple of hours and then I can come and collect him. If he has side effects, it will mostly likely show 2-5 days later. These effects can be cumulative and worsen over the weeks as more injections are given, but he will be closely monitored and treatment adapted or stopped if it starts to negatively impact his quality of life.

It will involve shaving a space on his neck to take bloods and a patch on each leg, so as not to exhaust the veins. I did explain, in my capacity as a dog groomer, that shaving would need to be minimal as his coat is slow to grow back (being double coated) and will be even slower on the chemo and sled dogs have very thin skin that can be easily irritated. Especially during the cold weather in winter.

So the appointment was booked in for this Thursday at 10am.

I won't lie.... I'm not sure I am doing the right thing. Sure the cancer is aggressive and could spread if we do nothing, but then he might be lucky and get a few months of happiness and little suffering with no regular vet visits.

On the other hand, I have seen cancer take both of my previous dogs. I have seen both ends of the spectrum: the long, slow and painful demise and the unexpected collapse and gone..... I can safely say that the first experience was the hardest. Even though it was 5 weeks, it was the most traumatic experience for all of us. Watching an animal being slowly eaten away by cancer is another level. Not being able to explain to them why things are happening (unlike in the human world) is devastating. There is confusion and frustration and sadness. Treatment was not an option as the cancer was rare and in a difficult place.

I have agonised over my decision to go down the chemo route and my thinking is this. Indie's cancer was caught early. The tumour has been removed and there is no evidence of spread....yet. But the cancer is high aggressive and likely to spread quickly. But chemo (if he can tolerate it) could buy him 12 months plus. Without it, it could be more like 3-6months.

He's strong, healthy (overall), happy, mischievous, loving and just raring to go at all times. He has an insatiable appetite for life and being with the people he loves. He is curious and playful and charges around the house at speed, knocking over anyone in his path.

If he could understand and I asked him if he wanted me to try this treatment to give him more time, I think he would say yes. I also think if I told him it might be uncomfortable for a bit and there may be some challenges, I think he would shrug and say 'no worries, let's give it a go.' That's him all over. Determined and resilient.

Ever since his diagnosis of hip dysplasia at 1 year old, he has proved to be a fighter. Nothing stands in his way of a good time.

So yes. I'm taking a chance with the chemo but, if we don't try, I will always feel like we could have had more time together. Quality time.

At the end of the day, if the chemo begins to impact his quality of life.... we stop. And the vet agreed with this and I trust that he will be honest with me on this journey.

But at least we would have tried. I owe him that much.