12/02/2020
Last spring I had an experience that confirmed my passion and belief in the power of using acupressure points. I had been using them on any species I could and observing their effects. But what happened this particular evening was different. Any lingering doubt, any question as to whether using gentle pressure on these very specific places where chi flows close to the surface the body was actually making a difference to the animal, dissipated. Instead that doubt transformed into the utmost respect.
It was late. It was about 8:00 PM and the sun was beginning to set. I was driving home after another long day of landscaping work in preparation for "summer arrivals". I decided to make a left instead of heading up over the ridge so I could get a quick slice of pizza to hold me over until I finished unloading my truck.
As I turned down yet another rural road I was thinking how beautiful all the trees looked in the light, how lucky I have been to be working among them for so many years and how this passion,this deep love for the earth has expanded into every pore of my body. I thought to myself, it was that expansion that brought me to the place of working with animals as well as plants.
And then...out of nowhere a deer leapt out of the woods in front of me. I slammed on the brakes but knew there was nothing I could do but brace myself for the inevitable. I hit her broadside. As I slowed down and pulled over as quickly and safely as I could I looked out my side view mirror to see her on her side sliding across the road, circle, after circle,after circle until she finally stopped.
I sat in my truck for a moment with my head in my hands in horror of what I had just done! As the guilt began to seep into my heart I realized I needed to help her...
I got out of my truck and began to walk to the spot on the side of the road where she lay. As I did, I heard a rustling in the woods. I looked over my left shoulder and saw her herd watching me.
I approached her slowly but suddenly stopped when she began to flail her legs even faster as her respiratory rate sped up. She was in sheer panic and distress. I was already "in the zone", a place I go when faced with an emergency situation. It feels somewhat automatic. I shut out any wavering of emotion or attachment to the animal or situation, quiet my mind and make room for the "knowing". This quiet yet keen focus about what I need to do next is filled with both clarity and compassion within one breath.
I have learned through much experience with helping animals in precarious situations that "telling them" exactly what I am about to do gives me the most potential to sometimes do what otherwise would be impossible. It's in this moment that the two way conversation begins. I speak and then listen. I watch for her responses. It has to be reciprocal. The animal needs to have a say.
I began by letting her know I understood how frightened she was. I apologized again for causing her pain and letting her know it was unintentional. I told her I wanted to help her, I wanted to help her "let go and move out of her body so she would no longer be suffering". As she listened she stopped flailing her legs.
I waited another moment and began slowly moving towards her again. Her breathing was strained but she had settled more. Her legs were relaxed and she looked up at me. I squatted down in front of her.
She looked directly into my eyes as I began to stroke her front leg. I told her just how "BEAUTIFUL" she was. I thanked her for her life on earth and being a part of such a gorgeous herd and then told her I was going to help her "release". I told her exactly where I would be touching her and that, again, I needed her to trust me in order to help her.
I still held her leg gently and cupped my other hand in front of her chest. I closed my eyes and sent the love that moved through my crown (Chakra) into my heart and into hers. Her eyes though still glued to mine, softened, releasing some of the fear. I then moved my hand to an "acupoint" on the top of her head.
It was at that moment that I realized I wasn't alone. I heard "What did ya knock her out?!" I could see in my peripheral vision, a man standing at her hind end bent over at his waist, hands on his knees stretching his neck out to see what I was doing. I responded quietly but kept focused. "No. I am helping her die." "Huh?" he said. The "Chi"(energy) had already shifted under my finger and her breathing slowed down from quick short breaths to long breaks in between long sighs. I heard this man say "Woah. How did you do that? Wow!" I didn't respond but kept present with her.
I moved my hand to her chest working 2 more points simultaneously until her eyes soften more and she took her last breath. I paused and waited. Having been around death a lot, sometimes the pause before the last breath is longer than you think.
"I think she's gone" I said. Now moving back into my own body and awareness I realized there were 2 men next to me and the second man began to lift her leg. I knew he was about to drop it to "see" if she was dead. I swung my head around quickly and looked him straight in the eyes and said "Don't do that! Don't touch her!" He said " Yeah. They can kick out at you when they're dying when you least expect it." (I live in a rural area where hunting is the predominate culture) My response? "Not if you'de understand she feels your intention. You are a predator to her. She's panicked as she should be. You need to respect that and respect her."
I stood as the first man asked if I was going to call "the Game Warden?" "No." I said. Perhaps thinking I was on the same page, his page, he said "Yeah. I'd just flip her over and let her roll down the hill." I said "No. I need you to help me carry her down the hill with dignity and respect and lie her down in the beginning of the woods." For some reason he grabbed the opportunity to be of help. "We can do that for you.You should go home and get some rest. I know how these things can hit you sometimes." I agreed and said thank you and watched until they almost reached the bottom of the hill...now almost dark out.
As I began walking back to my truck I heard a sound from the woods across the road. It was her herd. I suddenly realized they had been watching me the entire time...or perhaps until she passed.
I turned and said, "Im so sorry for causing you this loss. I did what I could to help her. She isn't in pain anymore." They listened, ears flicking. We stood looking at each other for a few more moments and then they turned and went running back into the woods.
As I got back in my truck the men were walking by and I said how ''kind" it had been of them to "help her". I knew this experience left them somewhat confused and bewildered and I wanted to acknowledge their help. They assured me that it was "no problem".
Perhaps like the animals who I have witnessed change in when they are in the vicinity of another animal being worked on, these men, too, had somehow shifted. Or perhaps it was just my wish.
That evening and next morning I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was a wild animal and yet the connection was tangible in the way she trusted me. So I "checked in"... the way I do when I communicate intuitively with living animals.
She stepped in right away. She walked up to me and I looked at her beautiful face and long eye lashes. I felt the connection strongly.
Then she was standing with her new herd in a large open field which was washed in golden light. She stopped grazing for a moment, lifted her head, looked into my eyes and I was FLOODED with her gratitude! I knew she was home.
