01/02/2025
Normalised discomfort
When I was training in USA I called into a barn that looked pretty cool, so I went on in, introduced myself and offered to help for the day.
It turned out to be the barn or a Grand Prix dressage rider. At the end of the day she offered for me to ride her GP horse, who she said “I just had to feel” and she “felt like butter” to ride.
But when I got on, there was nothing there - it felt like I was riding a piece of wood. Heavy in my hands, heavy under my legs.
I’d just come from training at a facility where the horses were more than softer than butter, it was more like they went off a thought! Off the slight shift in energy, a pinky finger movement on the rein…
It was a big lesson for me, and I thought ‘if this is considered soft, then what is not soft?!’
It was a lesson in normalised discomfort.
You shouldn’t have to wear gloves to stop your hands hurting.
Your hands shouldn’t be pulling.
You shouldn’t have to have nose bands to keep your horse’s mouth closed, or bigger bits for control.
You shouldn’t have to have legs that feel worn out from keeping your horse going.
Your legs shouldn’t be constantly on or nagging.
They shouldn’t even a start point to achieve softness, we want to begin with the end in mind.
So, let your cue begin the moment you think it, then the moment your energy shifts, then your physical cue, and make sure it’s a subtle as possible…the whole time being aware to notice when your horse notices, as soon as their mind comes to you in the slightest way. That’s when we want to reward them.
This is the way to soft as butter!
Let’s normalise ease - it feels much better for both the horse and rider!
