14/01/2024
Well, today was a big day for me. Super long post warning, but it includes a never before shared story and some real raw and honest stuff.
I rode Tavik in the saddle for the first time since July, 2022! So, a little bit of background on that. Most of you have probably heard that if you get bucked off you need to immediately get back on or it will be so much harder the next time. This was a similar situation to that, except I didn't do it again for a year and a half! For me it was just riding Tavik in a saddle.
So, going back to the beginning of this story, I prefer to start my horses ba****ck, I think it is an easier gradual transition from leaning over them, putting some weight on them, and then working up to sitting on them. Plus it's easier and safer to bail if things go south. Anyways, I started Tavik that way and was riding him steadily ba****ck before ever trying to ride him saddled.
Now, another important piece of information is, I nearly didn't even get Tavik because I lost the place I was going to do the challenge at and I didn't have anywhere to keep my mustang or work with him, I actually nearly had to drop out because of that. But through friends lending me the panels and some serious figuring work we were able to get him set up in a workable area. This was not the ideal set up for mustang starting, but it as all I had. One of the downsides to the place I had available to work with him was it was in a bit of pasture that was adjacent to a junkyard area and part of the only space I had to work with him was a loop around the junkyard. Not ideal but it's what I had to work with.
Anyways, enough with boring details, here is the story I haven't shared with ya'll yet... The first ride I ever did in the saddle we rode the loop around the junkyard, he was like any normal horse with their first time riding in a saddle and was interested in checking out the stirrups and a bit wiggly because it was a new and weird experience. It felt different and funny so he was a bit more all over the place than usual. Anyone who has ridden a green horse knows when you first start them they're a little loose on the steering and sorta swervy, this was just more so. This day he happened to move over at exactly the wrong time and bumped into a lawnmower handlebar sticking out into the road we were riding along. What happened next can only be described as a freak accident. The handlebars caught on the stirrup and dragged it behind us a few steps. Keep in mind he was, at this time less than a month out of the wild and very green. He spooked big time and this was the one and only time he has ever bucked me off. I rode out the first few launches but he is POWERFUL and he dumped me over his shoulder and I landed on the ground directly in front of his hooves. I remember the split second of laying on the ground, waiting for his hooves to come crashing down on my back, but they didn't. I honestly believe God saved me in that moment and also that Tavik was looking out for me and purposely avoided trampling on me. He actually jumped right over me. After this he was thoroughly freaked out and the stirrups were flapping so he continued to bronc across the junkyard and through the lawnmowers that were there. I was sure he would break his legs and tear and shred his belly and legs to ribbons. A tribute to his amazing mind though, as soon as he made it to a small clearing in the center of the junkyard and the metal things quit attacking his legs he immediately stopped and waited there quietly for me to get to him. Then we had a test of his trust as he followed me out and we picked our way around and through until we were able to get out of the mess. He followed me completely trusting and had perfect faith in me and we were able to get out of the junk. I knew I immediately needed to get back on him or I would become afraid of riding him, but I also knew that that was his first experience being ridden in the saddle and I didn't know if he would connect the trauma with the saddle or not. I was hurting and shaken so I decided to go back to what we were both familiar with and remove the saddle and ride ba****ck. He did amazing and I was so impressed that he was able to relax so quickly after such a freak accident and traumatic experience.
That was the beginning of my fear of riding him in the saddle. I worked on it quite a bit in the weeks following and was able to overcome it and got to the point where I could get right on and had no anxiety at all.
Fast forward to July '22 I'm sure you all remember the epic weekend horse camping trip we did with Lydia Dedera’s Horse Training and Mild at Heart - Mustang Gentling & More. We were saddling up for our long ride on Saturday and I remember noticing that Tavik was sorta anxious already. He was in a new place along with quite a few other things that were all adding together to cause him to be stressed. There was just too many stressors all coming at him at the same time. My fatal error was to try to fly spray him, which I know he is not ok with, and that was the last straw for him. He panicked in that wooden corral area and went to bucking. I had to just get out of the way so I didn't get hurt and he was able to settle down some. I went in there and was able to calm him down and take off the saddle. Not the best thing for training, but, it wasn't the right place to work through it, there was too much all going on at the same time and he was already stressed. The best thing for him was to go back to what we were familiar with. So we went ba****ck.
It may have been the best thing for him in the moment, but it was not the best thing for me, that was the last day I ever rode him in a saddle. I developed a huge fear and psychological trauma response to riding him in the saddle. That is the real reason I competed ba****ck, I couldn't ride him in the saddle, he could've been, but I couldn't. (even without all of this I probably would have chosen to compete ba****ck though because he was so much smoother and more fluid ba****ck)
This year I decided it was time to conquer my fears, I began on the first, saddling him every day to get him re-trained to getting saddled and wearing the saddle. He took to it really well, just the same as he was when I first saddle trained him. Then today was the big day. It was a huge deal, but I did it. As John Wayne would say: "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway" or "If you can't beat fear, just do it scared" -Glennon Doyle Melton. I was scared to death, but I did it! I'm a long ways from being comfortable and relaxed with riding him in a saddle but I am on my way. The first step is always the hardest.
My encouragement for anybody else who has developed a fear of riding or any other thing is to set yourself up for success, don't try to do too much at once, and just do it scared. I'm rooting for you!!
**Note: This post is super honest and I'm sharing all the facts that happened to give you all the full picture. I'm sharing this to hopefully encourage others. I am not looking for any criticism on what I did or what I should've done differently. I know I could've done things differently and avoided most of all these problems that happened but I can't go back and change the past, all I can do is learn from it and change for the future.