27/12/2019
Hi everyone. This is the link to the news story that aired last night on KFOR. I know this link has already been posted here, but it never hurts to post it again. Some of the comments are fairly hateful and I'm doing my best to not respond, only because I know that it's nearly impossible to clear up misconceptions once a person's mind has been made up. I may have to sit on my hands later, but I'm trying not to respond to much.
I have already addressed some of the misconceptions on this page. If those who are opposing us read Chester's page, great! If not, we know the truth, and we also know that the majority of the comments come from people who know absolutely nothing about us beyond what's available in a 2 minute news story.
The main thing is the date. The news story said Chester went missing on Thanksgiving. This is not correct. When he hadn't come home by Thanksgiving, my daughter knew something was wrong. She couldn't go to the shelter because because she was out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday, and the shelter was closed for all but one of those four days between Thanksgiving and the following Monday. There are other members of her extended family (in-laws) who remained in the home for the holiday, and they are the ones who informed her, on Thanksgiving morning, that Chester hadn't come home. She was at the shelter on the first day they were open after the holiday weekend. That was day five of the stray hold, when Chester was there, and my daughter was told he wasn't.
Yes, my daughter's original post about this said he was last seen on Thanksgiving. She mis-remembered the date. It's something that she has a bit of trouble with; numbers just aren't her thing. We know her idiosyncrasies. The general public doesn't, because they don't know her. We have tried to address it as best as we can, but there are still those who delight in constantly repeating that it can't have been Chester in the shelter because of the date "discrepancy." The discrepancy has been addressed. As far as we are concerned, it is cleared up. I would not have taken things this far if I had any doubts of the identity of the cat. We are 100% certain that the cat in the photo taken at the shelter is of Chester. You can compare pictures of him and see for yourself, but I'm sure most of you have already done that.
This is information that you know already, but seems to be a sticking point for some people.
We aren't bashing the shelter employees and volunteers. We haven't ever called for anyone to be fired or even reprimanded. We understand human error. All we ever asked was for them to attempt to correct their error. However, they won't even admit that an error was made.
There are 2 sides to every story. Why was the shelter not given the opportunity to comment? Well, they were. It clearly states in the video that KFOR reached out to the shelter and were simply referred back to "policy," which has never been the question. We understand that there is a 5-day stray hold. We aren't fighting that. THE ONLY ISSUE THAT HAS EVER BEEN IN QUESTION BY US IS WHY THE SHELTER TOLD MY DAUGHTER HER CAT WAS NOT THERE WHEN HE WAS, AND WHY SHE WASN'T GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THE CATS ON THE FIRST DAY SHE WAS AT THE SHELTER. SHE WAS THERE BEFORE THE STRAY HOLD WAS UP. SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THE CATS ON THAT DAY. HAD THEY DONE THAT, CHESTER WOULD BE HOME AND NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
Hopefully that's loud enough for everyone to hear.
Additionally, WE HAVE NEVER BLAMED THE SHELTER OR ITS EMPLOYEES OR VOLUNTEERS FOR CHESTER BEING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. WE HAVE ONLY ASKED THEM TO OWN UP TO THEIR ERROR AND ATTEMPT TO FIX IT. My daughter has owned up to her error. She knows where she went wrong and will take every measure to prevent it from happening again in the future. But the shelter still won't own their part in this, and it's looking like they never will.
Here's a big one. My daughter is not stupid. She is young and inexperienced at the nuances of adulting, just like we all were at 22. She also deals with some mental / emotional / neurological issues that make adulting even more difficult for her. Calling her stupid is like calling someone with autism stupid, or calling someone with attention deficit disorder stupid. It's hateful, it's hurtful, and it's wholly inaccurate. She is doing a WONDERFUL job, given the obstacles she has to cope with. This is something that wasn't covered in the news story because it wasn't relevant, so it's not something that the people commenting are even aware of.
And that brings me to the reason why I try so hard to be kind to others, to refrain from passing judgement on others, and to respond calmly and respectfully to people when they are being rude, whether over the phone, in person, or online. I don't know what they are dealing with to cause them to be irritable or impatient or angry, and I don't want to be just another person who contributes to their state of mind. It doesn't always work, but I have found that oftentimes when I am calm and respectful to someone who is angry or rude, they will also calm their emotions a little. Sometimes it's enough that by the end of the interaction, we are all happy with the outcome. I haven't always held this outlook, though. In my younger years, I know I've made hateful comments or responded with anger instead of respect. I know that I still get impatient and lose my temper. But making a conscious effort to be kind and respectful has made a huge difference in my life.
In short, I feel that everyone deserves kindness and compassion. I wish more people felt that way, and I especially wish that social media reflected this more often.
NOBODY in those comments would want their life to be scrutinized the way my daughter's has been, because EVERYBODY has made mistakes, poor judgments, bad choices, whatever. We aren't perfect because NOBODY IS. However, we knew before going public with Chester's story that this would happen, and my daughter decided it was worth that to have the chance to get her boy back.
I think the main thing I want people to know is, unless it came from this page, it's not official word from us. Anyone who wants the entire story can come here and read it. We can't give you the shelter's side because the only thing they've ever said to anybody who has asked, is that they followed policy. (Which, again, isn't the issue.)
There are many assumptions, misconceptions, and outright lies being bounced around, and I don't have the time or energy to respond to every single person. That's why I address things here. I hope a few can gain a better understanding of this situation, but I honestly don't expect that many of the people on "the other side" will read this. Most have made up their minds about us, and that's okay. What other people think of me is none of my concern. I make these posts because I don't want our supporters to feel as though we've been deceitful or misrepresented anything. Besides, if I were to respond in the comments, it would likely just be an exercise in futility and result in me losing my cool, which is not something I care to do.
Lastly, we haven't heard anything from the family who adopted Chester, which was the entire point of taking this public in the first place. It has occurred to us that it's possible someone associated with the shelter adopted him, in which case we aren't likely to ever see him again. However, there is still a chance that the new family will see it, or someone who knows them will see it, and we can present them with the offer my daughter has made (and the offers from our supporters!) So we ask that you continue to share Chester's story in hopes that the right people will see it.
Thank you to all of our supporters. We could never have gotten this far without you! We appreciate that you understand how heartbroken our family is over this. I wish you all nothing but the very best life has to offer you.
MIDWEST CITY, Okla. (KFOR) - An Oklahoma woman says she is devastated after what she says was a mix-up at a local animal shelter.
“He is just like my first baby, they're like children, you know?” said a crying Mykal Bowan.
Bowan adopted Chester when he was just 8-weeks-old. Since then, they ha...
