The Positive Pony

21/10/2024

"Are we training partners or prisoners?"

Horses are incredibly generous with us, especially considering nearly everything we (as predators) ask of them goes against their every instinct (as prey animals), the least we owe them is the ability to communicate their "no" and the decency to be empathetic + curious about it.

They really only say "no" for a few reasons, too.

🛑 They're confused about what is being asked of them (eg introduced to a totally new concept, inconsistent cues from human, different/new context).

🛑 They're physically unable to do what is being asked of them (eg pain, lack of balance/conditioning, fatigue).

🛑 They're emotionally unable to do what is being asked of them (eg fear [fear of punishment, pain, environment, etc.], over threshold, frustration).

🛑 They lack the motivation to do what is being asked of them (eg reinforcer is not valuable enough [appetitive/reward is not "good" enough in R+ or the aversive is not "bad" enough in R-], they lack trust in you).

It's our responsibility to figure out *why* they are saying no so that we can work with them as our partners, not against them as their dictators.

Sure, sometimes you will need to ask them to do things they don't want to do, but you can 1) prepare them for less than fun situations ahead of time [eg vet and farrier visits, trailering] so they know what to expect and 2) be compassionate and understanding of their feelings to make the experience not quite as bad rather than forcing them through it while blatantly ignoring or even mocking their feelings.

A sense of urgency for correction is often taught in the equestrian world. If a horse says no - if they stop, pin their ears, kick out, show resistance, etc - we need to correct them immediately! We can’t let them get away with that or if they do it once, they will have a deeply engrained “habit” and we will have an uncooperative and dangerous horse. Right? I disagree.

When training, you can’t punish or reward a behavior long after it has occurred or the animal will have no idea what the punishment or reward is related to.

Hence the sense of urgency to stop a behavior in its tracks.

But here’s what I have learned - stopping unwanted behavior or behavior that some might perceive as “bad” is not as urgent as many think it is.

When we immediately punish unwanted behavior, we are essentially telling the horse to be silent and that we do not care what they think or feel about what is happening.

Punishment is often promoted as necessary for safety. But a safe horse is not a shut down horse.

It’s OK to not react to unwanted behavior.

Not punishing bad behavior is not equivalent to rewarding it. Stopping something that is causing them discomfort or distress is relief, not a reward.

Get yourself in a safe position and take a minute.

The horse needs help to feel better or do better.

Punishment is like putting a bandaid on an infection. It might look better for a bit but the underlying problem is still there. Let the horse say no. Understand why they are saying no. Then adjust your approach to achieve the desired behavior.

You might be surprised how much more they will give you a yes.

01/10/2024

It may not always feel like it, but I promise it is. ✨

Yesterday, I was honored to guest lecture for a second time at the University of Vermont for their Equine Training Techniques course.

Not only did the professor have a clear shift in her understanding of equine behavior in the last two years, but she didn't have another trainer back after previous students expressed that he made them uncomfortable with how he handled the horses.

After my presentation, she also committed to purchasing clickers and forage pellets for her students who were interested in continuing their R+ journey.

The students I taught confidently knew that horses say "no" not to create problems for us, but rather because they might be in pain, confused, or afraid.

We worked with three wildly different horses and easily taught them how to safely accept food rewards before demonstrating how we could use R+ to address each of their sticking points from leading, catching, and haltering, to tacking up, separation anxiety, and hoof handling.

But one moment really stands out to me that wasn't necessarily about R+.

Due to metabolic concerns, our first demo horse wears a grazing muzzle. When a student brought out his halter with the muzzle to turn him back out, he quickly but quietly let me know he was concerned. His body language and energy dulled, and he stopped accepting food.

It was subtle, but I knew it was a really important teaching moment.

I held his halter loosely by my side, taking slow, deep breaths with a soft posture and a soft gaze directed toward the ground to let him know that I wasn't going to force him through this.

When he let out a big deep breath, I offered him the halter and waited for him to lower his head into it. It took a moment, but he rewarded me for my patience and attunement to his concern.

We then discussed how often we rush around, missing our horse's subtle communication, therefore missing these opportunities for connection.

It wasn't "woo," but it was magical and we all felt it.

We shared a moment of what working with horses can look like, no matter the reinforcer, so long as you are willing to slow down and listen to them before they have to yell.

💖

27/09/2024

Here's a wild idea!

Equestrian professionals shouldn't put prospective students down for learning from various sources, especially while simultaneously telling them not to idolize a single person.

Let your horse and your intuition guide you ✌🏻

17/09/2024

One of the phrases my grandmother burned into my brain is, "Patience is a virtue." 🌱

And I was a terribly impatient child so I heard it a lot! 😅

She may not have been a horsewoman, but she taught me so many lessons that would make me think otherwise. Practicing patience was certainly one of them.

Equilescence℠, my sacred term for the continuous process of growing together in partnership with horses, requires a level of patience with ourselves and our horses that isn't for the faint of heart.

I'm being called to embody a deeper sense of humbleness and composure as I establish my new relationship with Bird, who seems to have decided that my husband is actually his person. Which is great, except I do most of the day-to-day and technical horse work!

Welcoming any new animal into your life is the equivalent of an arranged marriage that they didn't necessarily agree to. That makes it our job to learn to understand them just as much as they have to learn to understand us.

The language that evolves between two beings is so personal that it takes an almost insane amount of patience to learn. Sure, some concepts overlap so you can hold a basic conversation, but it takes time to profoundly understand each other through all the nuances communication provides.

So what's my first step in building a relationship with a new horse?

✨ Simply *be* with them. ✨

Spend time together without asking for anything—no training, no desire for an outcome. Just observe.

Watch how they interact with and react to their surroundings without judgment or expectations. Take note of anything that brings up for you.

I've been spending a lot of time observing Bird in the weeks since he's been home and it's fascinating to take stock of his strengths and vulnerabilities.

I have some things I'd like to address in the future, but for now, my goal is to cultivate an environment where he feels safe, both physically and emotionally. Giving him plenty of time to settle in with no ulterior motives helps create that safety.

I promise you that rushing won't build connection, but patience will. And that's true at every step in growing together in partnership with our horses. 💖

20/08/2024

"Out with the old, in with the new" is really hitting different these days.

I was talking to my best friend the other day about how I was struggling to post pictures of our new life because I was worried about what other people would think about my at least 150-year-old, less than "Instagram-worthy" barn.

Admittedly, I knew she would remind me what's most important (and of course she did). My barn isn't what you see in magazines, but her bones are beautiful in that "they don't make 'em like you anymore" type of way.

Having my horses home and having a property that met their needs has been my dream my entire life, and I achieved it at 30 years old. Where the heck is the shame in that just because it doesn't look like a cookie-cutter prefab barn?

So I started to speak to my barn as if she were my grandmother.

My Meme was my hero. A woman who always gave more than she took, but knew her limits and her boundaries.

Like everyone and everything, she slowed down with age. She needed more help. She wasn't as traditionally beautiful. But that does not mean she didn't still matter.

She was so full of life, wisdom, and love long before her body failed her. I cannot imagine how much we would have missed out on had she been hidden away once she retired, once she could no longer care for herself.

She still gave so much and was just as worthy of adoration despite the sag in her skin and the slowness of her movements.

I realized that my strong, old barn deserves the same outward, make sure the world knows she was here type of love from me that I gave my grandmother.

She may not be as beautiful as she once was, but she provides Bird and Annie a safe shelter they can access on their terms, stalls if needed, abundant hay storage, room for our feed, tack, and supplies, plus running water and electricity.

We still have plenty of settling in to do here and that has been the priority over social media, but I promise not to hide this place away like I realized I have been out of fear of judgment. If it happens, it was going to happen anyway and that isn't on me.

At the end of the day, if Annie, Bird, my husband, and I are safe and happy here, that's all that matters. 💖

29/07/2024

This post has been a long time in the making for all the best reasons! ❤️

A short while back I teased y'all that I had an absolutely magical story to tell you, but it was not yet into the right chapter to share it.

However, that time has finally come!

A month ago, on June 27th, my husband and I bought our dream property. The next day I brought Annie home for the first time ever.

I quietly named our land Black Phoenix Farm.

I knew I wanted to honor Annie in the name, after all, my magical black mare who has been the catalyst for so much deserves to live on forever here. I also wanted to honor the previous owner (who is a friend of mine), which is where Phoenix comes in.

Her moving into the next chapter of her life felt like a rebirth, and she truly was rising from the ashes. I also greatly appreciate the beauty of the phoenix's story, the mythical aspect of it felt very much in alignment with what this place is and will be.

After naming the farm in secret, and ultimately deciding that a boarder was not the right option at this moment in time, I quietly put out feelers for a companion for Annie to meet all of her basic needs - forage, freedom, and friends.

Enter Bird. 💙

A friend of a friend had a Quarter Horse gelding who sounded like the perfect match for us. Goofy, confident, sweet, safe, and able to keep up with Annie.

In discussing him, his owner mentioned that she had given him the name Fire Bird for his coloring... and for the phoenix. At this point, only a small handful of people knew my farm name, and she was not one of them. I quite literally had found the Phoenix to complete Black Phoenix Farm.

So this past weekend, on July 27th, Bird joined our herd after a truly cosmic chain of events.

I have never seen two horses bond as quickly as Bird and Annie have. They have already shared some amazing moments across a spectrum of energy and intimacy - from running and playing to napping and mutually grooming.

There's so much more to the story, but you'll have to check out my blog to read it! https://www.thepositivepony.com/post/welcoming-bird-and-the-birth-of-black-phoenix-farm

And with that said, please join me in welcoming Bird and celebrating the birth of Black Phoenix Farm. 💖

14/06/2024

That includes your horse! 🦄

I noticed that I was bothered by something I had read the other day that said everyone in a group felt a certain way.

Normally, that wouldn’t irritate me, except I was part of said group, and I did not feel the way that was described at all. 😬

This got me thinking about how often some people assume or dismiss how another is feeling in order to protect themselves from being uncomfortable.

It’s a lot easier to believe that your horse is happy or your friend is fine, but how do you know if you haven’t asked them and really listened?

Maybe they are happy and fine!

But unless you explicitly ask about their feelings and are open to receiving their response, even if it isn't what you want to hear, it's unfair to make assumptions because it’s more convenient for you.

You also can’t change how someone else feels simply because you don’t agree or it upsets you.

I've heard way too many people say to others and to their animals “you shouldn’t feel that way.”

Who the heck are you to decide that?

If your horse is scared or your friend is angry, it doesn’t matter if you don’t think they should be.

You don’t have to agree with how they are feeling, but it also isn’t your place to tell them what they should or should not be feeling.

So what can you do instead? 🤔

Ask!

Horses will tell you how they’re feeling whether you ask or not when you know what to look for in their body language and behavior, but you can still ask them questions about how they feel about things and gauge their responses.

And you can most definitely ask other people. They may not be fully honest if they don’t feel 100% safe, but you have to at least give them the opportunity.

In any case, if you want to make a statement about someone else’s feelings, it’s your responsibility to ask first and listen to their response with an open mind and open heart, not to assume, ignore, invalidate, or argue their feelings to fit your own agenda. ✌🏻

04/06/2024

And social media loves controversy! 😬

Posts that cause controversy are what generate the most engagement. They feed into our natural tendency to strongly agree or disagree with something that we care about. 🗣

And people really love feeding into this on the internet, either as a creator or commenter, because there's often very few real-world repercussions.

The horse side of social media is no different.

You're probably being shown content that is likely to cause you to engage with it (even just watching it counts!), for better or worse, because of how you've interacted with similar content before.

The more you feed into something, the more you'll see it. Both on the internet and in real life.

Our brains naturally track patterns. It's hardwired into us for survival. It serves a lot of useful functions, but also plenty of not helpful ones in terms of modern-day living.

When you focus on the bad stuff, your brain is primed to look for more bad stuff.

But the good news is that the opposite is also true!

When you focus on the good stuff, your brain is primed to look for more good stuff.

That's why people who regularly practice gratitude, focus on glimmers, and shift their internal + external vocabulary away from negative words and towards using more positive words are more likely to have better baseline mental health.

Hence, you are what you love. If you "love" the negatives, they'll become the go-to track for your thoughts and actions. The same is true if you "love" the positives.

This isn't to say we should wall ourselves off and ignore everything that isn't exactly how we would want it to be, but rather to say we have a lot more control over the inputs in our life that can drag us down to an unhealthy place of burn out, depression, and apathy.

One thing you can do right now to make a change is to w**d your feed. 🌱

The hide, mute, unfollow, unfriend, and block buttons are your friends!

Follow and lift up more of the people who inspire you, share a growth mindset, and foster safe spaces.

You're likely spending more time on the internet than at the barn, so you might as well make it a place that you love almost as much as you love your horse! 🦄

20/03/2024

I am making my stand against the word "horsemanship"! 🫡

Fun fact about me: I take my vocabulary VERY seriously, and I do my best to choose my words with intense scrutiny. You'd best believe this also applies to my work with horses.

While in my rest and repair phase of 2023, I found myself rejecting the word "horsemanship." It feels so ambiguous and diluted, meaning something different to nearly everyone. It also doesn't seem to accurately represent my way of being with horses.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that there are plenty of you who also agree the word isn't cutting it for you anymore either, but we didn't have another word to use in its place. Until now!

I spent a lot (probably an insane amount 😅) of time digging through the dictionary and researching etymology to find something that truly felt good to my soul.

That feeling was sparked with "coalesce." It then ignited into a raging fire when I first spoke "equilescence" into existence. 🔥

As I define it, Equilescence℠ is the continuous process of growing together in partnership with horses. It can take so many forms, but the core focus is on individual and shared growth between horse and human. 🌿

Equilescence℠ stems from the Latin prefix of "co," meaning together, "alescere," meaning to grow or to be nourished, and "equine" from "equus/equi" - a horse, of course!

I privately shared this new alternative with a few people who also resonated with its power, and I knew this was it. This is the word that will replace horsemanship for me moving forward.

My main coaching offering is now centered around lessons in Equilescence℠. These in person and virtual lessons in everything from management to riding follow the least intrusive, minimally aversive (LIMA) model, prioritize species appropriate care as a foundation for success, and are co-created with each individual human and horse partnership to achieve their unique goals using my guiding stars of Science, Soul, and Self.

If you'd like to learn more about one-on-one Equilescence℠ coaching, check out the link to my website in my bio and fill out my Alignment Assessment to ensure we're a good fit before we invest in each other. 💖

19/03/2024

In honor of the first day of spring, I'm excited to (finally!) unveil the newest evolution of The Positive Pony! ✨️

After burning myself out in the first half of last year and then losing my first dog the day before my birthday in July, I retreated from social media to allow myself to rest and heal. To simply be and do without the pressure of creating content.

In that time, I found myself rejecting the word and vague idea of "horsemanship." It has become too diluted for me, and I don't feel it reflects what I embody. More on this later, so stay tuned! 👀

In my quest for finding the right words to describe what I do, I felt called to shed a lot of what was no longer serving me as a horsewoman and as a human. This included my previous branding.

I knew in my heart that Nica was the perfect person to help me bring my vision to life. Her art has always been inspirational to me, and I've valued the spaces we have shared in various containers beyond words. I knew she would understand exactly what I'm doing and how I'd hope to share it. I could not have been more right!

Nica's work beautifully represents my intimate and transformational relationship with Annie, nods at my preference for positive reinforcement and mindful communication with horses, and seamlessly illustrates my guiding stars of science, soul, and self.

So, without further ado, I give you the culmination of my vision for the feel of The Positive Pony moving forward! Make sure to check out the link in my bio to see the new website in all of her glory - you might even find something totally new there, too! 😉

18/03/2024

There's something new on the blog! 👀

How do you know if you’re giving up or letting go?

Regardless of the similar end result of stopping something permanently, giving up and letting go have entirely different energetic signatures. Knowing the difference allows you to make decisions that are truly in alignment with your head and heart. ✨

Discover the difference between giving up and letting go: emotional peace guides decisions toward alignment.

10/01/2024

A good read! 🧠

Comparative neurobiology of horse and human.

Horses and humans are both mammals.
Our brains may not be the same size, but they are almost identical in their structure and function.

Why can our brains look so similar but our behaviours and sensitivity to the world look so different?

The area in the picture highlighted is the prefrontal cortex or the (PFC). Its job in humans, horses, dogs, dolphins, elephants, cats, mice, rats, all mammals, and even birds is to carry out "higher executive functions" such as:

🧠 problem solving
🧠 decision making
🧠 reasoning
🧠 risk assessment
🧠 forward planning
🧠 impulse control
🧠 intention

Obviously, these executive functions are more advanced in humans than in other species of mammals, but this part of the brain plays a pivotal role in higher levels of learning beyond primal behaviours and learning survival skills.

So why aren't we seeing these higher executive functioning skills and behaviours in horses as much as what we see them in dogs, dolphins, elephants and even birds?

Ultimately it comes down to safety!

The latest neuroscience research suggests that when the brain feels unsafe it causes the body to produce stress response hormones and these stress response hormones cause the PFC to go "offline".
This means that subcortical regions of the brain (deeper parts of the brain) such as the primal brain (AKA limbic system, survival brain, flight/fight brain) completely take over to increase the chances of survival.

Feeling unsafe causes the feeling of fear and it is fear that gets this party started.

So behaviours come from two areas:

1. The PFC, carrying out problem solving skills, reasoning, impulse control, forward planning etc. that may be interpreted as "obedience" and "partnership".

2. The primal brain, carrying out reactive survival behaviours. This brain does NOT carry out impulse control, forward planning, problem solving, etc. It just reacts to the world. This brain heavily relies on patterns and consistency. This brain will cause freeze/flight/fight behaviours such as shutting down, bolting, biting, rearing, bucking, kicking, barging, etc.

Which brain is the domesticated horse spending most of it's time in?
It's primal brain!

This is why we don't get to see their full intellectual and cognitive potential because most of the time, domesticated horses are perceiving their world in a fearful way to some degree.

We can help our horses with this!

Feeling fearful is the OPPOSITE to feeling calm.
If we want to help our horses access their PFC then we MUST do whatever it takes to help them feel calm.

☝️ ONLY when a brain feels calm can it slow down enough to develop TRUE confidence. Only when the brain feels confident will it access TRUE cognition (PFC).

☝️ We first need to understand that when we get "bad behaviour" from our horses, it's not intentional or naughty or rude. What you are seeing is either a horse that is just reacting to the fear they feel or they are carrying out their "coping mechanism" in response to their anticipation of feeling fear.

☝️ Try to remove expectations that your horse should "know better".
"Knowing better" implies that all behaviours are coming from the PFC and there should be some impulse control and reasoning. Unless your horse feels calm, they can't access the PFC to "know better".

THIS STARTS WITH YOU!!!

You need to be consciously aware if YOU feel calm first. If you feel calm, your horse will have a better chance at feeling calm. Expecting them to feel calm when you don't is unfair.

The best way to create calmness is to intentionally be SLOW!!!
SLOW EVERYTHING you do down.
SLOW your movement down.
SLOW your talking down.
SLOW your walking down.
SLOW your breathing down.
SLOW your horse down.
If you feel too slow, then you're going slow enough.

Calmness is slow, not fast.

This will help you and your horse to connect and feel safe together.
When the brain feels stressed, the stress response hormones cause the body to speed up.

Stress = speed

We can reverse engineer this process and create a calm mind through slow intentional movement and a relaxed posture.

The by-product of a calm brain is confidence and cognition (PFC access).

Happy brain training 🧠
Charlotte 😊

Photo: Credit: Adult horse (equine) brain, sagittal section. Michael Frank, Royal Veterinary College. Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0)

05/01/2024

Learning to evaluate bridle fit is just as important as understanding saddle fit!

20/11/2023

Pushing is getting you to the wrong place faster. 💣

Most of you probably know by now that if you want your horse to load onto the trailer and they are scared, you should not ignore that and force them on anyway (unless it is truly an emergency - and no, sorry, that show, clinic, trail ride, etc. doesn't count no matter how much you paid for it!)

Instead, you find the point where your horse starts to let you know they are worried and break down the process from there when you are not on a time crunch.

But what happens when you reach that tipping point yourself? 🤔

Do you allow yourself to move slowly and empathetically through the same process?

I'm guessing the answer is probably not! 👀

It is so easy (like way too easy) to push past your feelings in pursuit of a goal because we live in such an outcome-driven society.

So here's where I invite you to reject the push and embrace the nudge. ✨

⏩ The push is aggressive, hasty, and insensitive.

▶ The nudge is quiet, methodical, and mindful.

⏩ The intent behind the push is toward the end goal.

▶ The intent behind the nudge is toward the next step.

They both move you forward, but the focus is different.

The space between you and your goal is either ignored or embraced.

So I ask why, in a world where you could nudge, do you keep pushing?

If this resonates with you and you would like someone to help nudge you toward your next step in a way that feels aligned with you and your horse, I would love to chat with you. 💖

16/10/2023

I took a poll in my stories recently and the results broke my heart. 💔

Out of just under 200 people, 91% responded that at least some of the time they decide against posting a photo or video of their horse or themselves on social media because they are afraid they will be judged for how they look.

47% said they choose not to share because of this fear all of the time. 😞

The amount of DMs I got from that poll was insane. So many of you shared your negative social media experiences with me and feel that not posting is the only way to avoid it happening again.

That is not the type of horse community I want to nurture. 🙅🏻‍♀️

🚩 You should not have to be afraid to share the picture of your senior or rehabbing horse who doesn't look their best right now but is incredibly well cared for otherwise and genuinely happy out of fear that someone will call you out for neglecting them.

🚩 You should not have to be afraid to share a video of yourself riding the horse you raised from a baby, started gently and at an appropriate age, out of fear that people will comment on your body's size even though it is not inappropriate for the horse.

🚩 You should not have to be afraid to share the photo of your alert horse taken while they were looking at something new before they had a chance to acclimate out of fear that you will be vilified for ignoring their subtle stress signals.

By no means am I saying that we should ignore actual abuse, turn a blind eye to professionals/authorities in the horse industry with patterns of ignorance or deflection, or not offer compassionate help to those who are actually asking for it.

What I am saying, however, is that the everyday equestrians I've met are all doing their very best for their horses with the knowledge and resources that they have. They do not deserve to be crucified as some have been for wanting to share their journey with their horse on their social media accounts.

If the intent behind the negative comments or unsolicited advice is in the name of equine welfare, then I am left to wonder how much their welfare would improve if their people felt just as safe and supported as we want the horses to be. ✌🏻

09/10/2023

Just like you, your horse is not their job. 🦄

I immensely dislike the question that nearly every horse guardian is regularly asked... "So what do you do with them?" 🙄

The "appropriate" response here is often to dilute your entire relationship with your horse down to a discipline.

Sure, your chosen discipline can certainly be essential to note in some situations (such as if you're asked by a saddle fitter or bodyworker in order for them to better help you), but what you "do" with your horse is such a narrow view of them as an individual and of your partnership as a whole.

We ask the same question and expect the same type of response from other people, too.

Q: What do you do?
A: Respond with the title of the job that pays your bills.

But here's the thing.

You don't love your best friend or spouse because of their job - that isn't who they are.

The same goes for our horses!

I don't love Annie because of what she can do. I love her because she is genuinely affectionate, profoundly sensitive, unabashedly powerful, and incredibly silly.

This is all to say I hope we stop asking other horse people what they do with their horses, but instead simply ask them to tell us about their horses.

I think the answers we give and receive would be so much more meaningful. ✨