30/09/2022
A Walk On The Wildside
Now this is about how life with a dog who is not so good on social skills, can affect what should be a wonderful experience of walking not so easy. I could label it "reactive/nervous" etc, but I find that labels are too easily used, and everyone's interpretation is different, even amongst dog trainers, Vets, behaviourists. If you look words up in a dictionary it's down to one person's choice of description.
When you live with a dog who finds life difficult for one reason or another, you find that your world changes too. You have a dog, and you want to go out and about, enjoy the outdoor world, explore and learn together, and one huge curve ball gets thrown at you. Now this can take many forms, from refusal to move, running away from the lead, lunging, barking, showing of teeth, circling, pulling, eating the lead, air snapping, biting. I could go on; it will be whatever your dog thinks to get your attention.
Now as you can see, I said "whatever your dog thinks will get your attention". It is not bad or naughty behaviour to the dog, although we label it as such, it is communication, a cry for help, a plea to be supported and listened too. But do we listen, or do we use those wonderful things "labels". It is so easy to put a label on for us, it makes sense, it gives us a word to use to try to explain our dog's behaviour, or to use it as an excuse.
Now I have had dogs from all extremes in behaviours and my walks have changed so much so I know how you must be feeling. It is hard, stressful, what I wanted to do with my dogs went out the window. I had to adapt my life so support theirs and that is a major commitment for life.
I had to stop, listen, learn develop my abilities, look at the emotions that were underlying in my dog's communication. I had to learn to slow down, take things at my dog's pace. I had to alter when and where we went. I had to start looking at how I could set my dogs up for success, so that they started to gain confidence, stop practicing the behaviours that got my attention, the more they were able to practice them the harder it would be to reduce them. My dogs' walks were and still are for their benefit not mine. They set the pace, the activity, sometimes we hardly go anywhere, but that is because they are sniffing, especially after rain, dusk and dawn, new areas.
The dogs that lunged and barked are calmer, the ones scared to go out have confidence and can take things more in their stride. They don't all go out together that would not be suitable because of their individual needs, unlike my first family, but then I cannot compare them, they are all so different. I have to do what is needed to support them, and not put my needs first, it would be so much easier to take them all out together for me. I have to say though that the way things work is actually really nice as I learn more about them all the time.
If you find yourself in this position, take a deep breath, look at your dog and ask what can I do to support you, how can I help you through the emotional turmoil you must be suffering. People will judge you, which is hard, I have been there, and it cuts deep, but you are amazing, you have made a commitment that is outstanding. Things will get better. Look for support, there are many of us out there in the same boat, who understand and can listen.
If you get the help of a trainer, make sure they understand about emotions, communication, work using positive methods after all if you were suffering you would want a positive experience. Positive methods do work, and they work really well, they allow your dog to develop skills and problem solve. It has been proven that positive methods give better results. There is no such thing as a quick fix, they only mask behaviours. Behaviours are personal and need to be treated as such.
Love your dog for who they are and be kind to yourself.