Esperborzoi

21/11/2025

Nature is so wild

21/11/2025

Do you want to build a SNOWZOI? It is one of our most sacred traditions here at Mantis Manor. I’ve committed this year to traveling if we are not blessed with that sacred white fluff. Take the hose goats on a road float to construct effigies. Blessing the latent heat of crystallization. Is it wrong that I long for another ice age? Global warming sounds terrible, but crossing a land bridge to Russia sounds fun. Idk. Maybe that’s just because I grew up in the desert amongst tumbleweeds and just regular weeds. I’m practically covered in a winter coat of my own, yearning for the tundra. Some Siberian wasteland where I can forage for roots, where borzois can roam freely.

20/11/2025

My son, The Oracle (pic 5), is obsessed with the show HOW IT’S MADE. One of his favorite episodes is about pretzels. I’ve watched it more times than I care to admit - it takes 1638 gallons of water per batch to make soft pretzels. Then one day I decided to hide a pretzel in his bed. I did not know that I was committing myself to a daily ritual of mystery bed pretzels but here we are. I have to sneak them in. I can’t let him down. Luckily the pretzels have shrunk in size, but the magic hasn’t.

20/11/2025

MANTIS MANOR 48 DITLO

20/11/2025

It’s always the STOP and SQUINT

20/11/2025

You just wait for the third one

20/11/2025

I think they need to start paying bills… 😭

19/11/2025

i bet you didn’t know this about hose goats

19/11/2025

GEEBO MARPLARP never wanted to devour the souls of the innocent, bathe in boiling blood, or do any of the things a hose demon was expected to do. While her brothers played their favorite game, “Pin the Tail on the Salesman’s Forehead and Make a Tricorn Hat Out of His Scrotum,” Geebo would sneak away to her secret spot in the bile bog to design umbrellas… golf umbrellas, foldable ones, push-button models, and even polka-dotted. She adored umbrellas, loved keeping people dry, and relished making them smile. One day, as she let plague ticks clean her underarms, she decided if was time to leave the demon realm. With a snap of her claws, she teleported to the human world. What followed was something out of a Devil Wears Prada-style nightmare: an internship at Gucci, complete with an overbearing boss and snippy coworkers- two of whom she eventually ate. But Geebo’s designs were so inspired, so darkly unique, that she earned the first-ever Umbrella-Only catwalk show. The audience was mesmerized by her gothic, almost macabre attention to detail. Her umbrellas were hailed as the next BIG THING. Unfortunately, tragedy struck at the show’s dramatic conclusion when all the runway models closed their umbrellas simultaneously, inadvertently severing their hands at the wrists. No one was dry. No one was smiling. Tail tucked between her sharp, deadly legs, Geebo returned home to the demon realm. To her surprise, her family was proud.

18/11/2025

SNOOT MERCH - B̸̡͖̑̀Ļ̴̘̠̅͐̚A̶͙͍͎͆̇͑Ç̷̡̣̈́K̷̥͛̏̊ FRIDAY SALE! New designs ranging from the 90s retro themed space series to the whimsical and snootastic. All human created (me). All a bit unhinged. LINK IN COMMENTS. I’ve discounted them as low as I can go without paying YOU to take them. Lol. Get your favorite snoot lover something unique, something epic, something that’ll generate conversations about sneeps and snorps. Show that your fealty aligns with the great long snooted overlords. Impress your grandparents. Impress your boss. IMPRESS your crush. Also, you’ll see a cute little video of THE ORACLE (my son) walking the dogs with his camera - all photos after that HE TOOK. He’s so good already. I’m very proud.O

18/11/2025

LSU is holding a fundraiser in the form of a CUTEST PET CONTEST to help raise money for their vet student activities. One of our fans, has a borzoi in the contest. ♥️♥️♥️

Show your support for LSU SVM Class of 2029 by voting for Vinny in LSU’s Cutest Pet Contest