22/05/2023
Demon goat 🐐
Goat for sale. $40.00 “rehoming” fee. For sale a 1 year old pigmy thing that was raise by a 65lbs Blue Nose pit bull, so you get the best of both worlds because this damn goat thinks he’s a pitbull. He even tries to bark which sounds completely terrifying in the middle of the night. I’m pretty sure those gas station Horney Goat W**d energy pills is based of this guys DNA. He once broke into my ice chest and drank all my beer so now he has an alcohol problem which he won’t admit, but I know he’s having withdrawals whenever he tears my fence up. He stopped drinking water 5 months ago and just waits til I get home with more beer and he stares me down. We’ve fought 3x and my record is 2-1 but He has 3 confirmed coyote kills, 2 trash cans, one out door patio set, and a number of unfortunate crows that have landed in my back yard. He chews on the electric fence to build a tolerance after he watched the Green Mile one night. He used to be my daughters pet but he’s long since graduated from that role. He’s got more urine on his face then a urinal at Woodstock 69. He used to be a grey color but all the bloodshed he’s caused has turned into a demonic dark grey. If you need a stud to breed he’s ready to pump out none stop for 6 months straight day and night. My neighbors are scared to come over anymore and I lost my backyard which I would like to get back. So let me know ASAP. He has a 10 yard stare like he’s done a couple of tours.
I take Venmo, cash app, Facebook pay, US currency, EUROS 💶, Monopoly money, whatever.
Side note* if there is ever an uprising with the goats like on planet of the apes, this guy is definitely going to be their leader
“Your chances of dying by a goat are low, but never zero”
