Balance & Align Equestrian Relationships Coaching

18/09/2024

Would you like "Ananda, The Red Mare" up on your wall?

The incredible Jane Johansson Art has kindly donated this limited edition print to the The Horse Quiz & Auction- Fundraising evening for horses in Accra, Ghana!

If you would like to bid online, and see the many more AMAZING things that are up for auction, click here:
https://app.galabid.com/neighbetterquiz

And if you want to join us on the 5th of October at Chailey Hall for a quiz all about horses, delicious cake, and an auction finale, click here!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdMe1vssYk2hV43Ci0yqxo89Q9icKBhrvs7Xu5-484_zpqrIA/viewform?usp=sf_link

Tickets are £5 per person.

Any questions get in touch!

What are we raising money for & why?

We are raising money and resources for 40 horses in the Ghanaian mounted regiment (horses and their carers) to help provide equipment and tack to greatly improve their health & quality of life.

Why they need our help:
The horse's trainers and caretakers do their best to care for these horses with the knowledge and resources they have, but navigating their health and well-being is extremely difficult with little/no tack shops, feed & hay sources, care & veterinary resources, professionals, and equine education/training in Ghana.

As a result many horses have ill fitting tack, sway backs, unbalanced feet, and are lame or unable to be ridden. If they are a stallion and unable to be ridden, due to the lack of veterinary resources they cannot be castrated. This means they are kept in a small stable with little enrichment or quality of life, only spending short periods of time outside.

The more these horses can stay healthy, cared for and mobile, the better their quality of life and treatment will be.

Our intention is, to provide equipment and resources for both human and horse, as the building blocks of moving these horses better care and improve their quality of life both in and out of the saddle.

This is what you are helping to change!

13/09/2024

A big hinderer in creating the relationship you and your horse feel safe in, is the lack of time spent in regulation together.

Day to day life naturally limits it! We have places to be and things to do, there is a hustle and bustle on the yard, your horse loses a hoof boot or a mask, and your horse has their own stresses too!

What really helps develop your river bed for your relationship to flow, is for your nervous systems to get used to feeling in a place of safety and co-regulation.

Co regulation is hard to build in a dysregulated environment, or when each being in the relationship is dysregulated or rushed.

It is a gentle flame that grows, the more it is allowed to burn brighter.

This is why the Equestrian Relationship weekend is such a safe and supportive space. For you both to have the support, resources and environment that facilitates co-regulation.

Day 1: Human day, for you to move through what is holding your nervous system in stress, and find the calm, safety and resources on the other side.

Day 2: Human & Horse: Bring your nourished and regulated energy to your horse, support them to release, regulate and reconnect.

September 21-22nd
Alderlake Farm - Sussex

If you would like to find out more, please get in touch!

Cat x

[email protected]

This is a non ridden weekend, and most suited for those who are drawn to a more 'natural' approach, and open to going slow and open to self reflection & development.

Photo of the gorgeous Obi by the amazing .photography

10/09/2024

Found some friends on our walk yesterday!

Had a herd following us in a little line down the field.

There is a feeling that you share between mammals that is unspoken. Often it comes through your body, and has an air about it.

This is your super power, it’s how you tune into different nervous systems and assess who is safe and who isn’t.

These cows felt safe and friendly. They were calm and regulated and Indi didn’t mind one but having them join her on her walk.

💕

09/09/2024

What does it mean to be curious?

It means to feel safe. To feel secure in yourself and your relationship.

We often expect curiosity in our horses, but it is a side effect of safety!

If we or our horses are focusing on survival, we don't go and explore somewhere that could be potentially dangerous!

Creating security in your relationship and in your nervous systems allows curiosity to grow organically like a flower from the earth.

When we and our horses are recovering from feeling unheard or unseen, perhaps a lot of life has been lived in a place of shutdown, curiosity can be like a tiny flame flickering. We need to keep it safe, sheltered, and not overwhelm it.

It cannot be forced, cannot be given too much oxygen or it will blow out.

When it starts to get stronger, it naturally starts to seep through and burn more. It is resilient, and vibrant.

Curiosity can be a gentle flame. Cherish it, and be slow with it. Until you feel the heat on your cheeks.

Stay wild and stay curious,
Cat x

My beautiful friend Angela Taylor's most curious little (big) man Ati, taken by the amazing .photography

07/09/2024

A lovely testimonial from the Equisential Retreat!

It is a special week of coming home in many different ways, with the waves the earth and hooves to hold us.

Already putting together ideas for the next one 💃💙
equineconnectioncoach

04/09/2024

"I know, I get it... humans are mad as a box of frogs aren't they!"

It occurred to me today, how one of the reasons why we seek such companionship in animals, is because they too get how wild the world is out there!

Horses have never been completely domesticated, they still have a thread to their wild roots, to the instincts and this means one of their gifts is they see right through us as humans. Our conditioning, who we are trying to be, who we have been told to be, our way of seeing the world through labels and craziness (let's be honest!), and also our instincts which we pretend not to have!

They are like a wise old soul just saying "yes... I know"

In accepting this truth they help us transcend the human world, to who we are beyond these walls. The kindness, resourcefulness, patience, imagination, intuition and power that we have.

This is one of the reasons why the relationship with your horse is so important. The relationship in your life that feels somewhat pure. That sees through whatever cloud is over your head and lays out crumbs to help you get back to you.

That's why we work with it, that's why we nourish it.

Because it is the gold in the rubble

Stay wild,
Cat x

02/09/2024

Upcoming Events for the next few months!

If you would like to find out more, drop me a message.

Stay wild,
Cat xx

01/09/2024

When do you take time to fill your cup up?
Do you start the day in the energy you left yesterday in?

When it comes to helping yourself feel more regulated, a massive influence is moving your state before you have started your day.

Because you can’t help but show up differently, speak differently, feel differently to others around you (especially your horse!) and already put your nervous system in a space of safety.

This is something I used to find extremely difficult! But it’s a commitment I have consistently come back to is time in the morning, because once I started, I could feel the difference in the day, then the week then the month if I didn’t.

It can be as little as 10 minutes to sit outside. Or feel the peace before anyone’s woken up, it could even be a cold dip or doing a bit of refreshing before the day takes over.

It’s for you, and it’s untouchable, and it helps you remember who you are underneath the noise ♥️

What are you going to recommit to for you?

30/08/2024

Just like your horse, you need to process to!

And your body always wants to process....
But the mind gets in the way! (read self protect)

A bit like digesting a big meal, processing is where the body, mind & nervous system sort through what we have accumilated (or consumed). Experiences, information, emotions that needs to be sorted through and made sense of. The bits we don't need (or are ready for us to let go) get released, and the parts our body feels is important stays. But it doesn't just hang around, it integrates, like food turns into energy and that energy gets absorbed by your cells. This happens with processing within our nervous systems too.

Once you have digested and processed, you have space, you are no longer feeling full to the brim of experiences and you have more room and capacity for new ones. Processing is also a vital part of making sense of past hurts, emotions that have been stuck and unprocessed, and heaviness we feel. Processing can be life changing, it can also be perfectly ordinary and unremarkable.

The more we process the more regulated our nervous system can feel.

But processing can be a difficult process for our minds to let go of control! Emotions may surface, sensations may surface, and perhaps this doesn't feel safe for your nervous system.

That's okay. Go slowly, create pockets of time to digest the day and how you feel. Find what works for you.

And catch the barriers you put in the way with love.

Cat xx

28/08/2024

An Afternoon exploring Attunement

In the picturesque setting of the most magical yard, we dived deeper into the most powerful force that connects us social mammals together. Attunement.

Attunement creates a feeling of emotional safety in the nervous system, which is essential for it to enter a safe and social state, defence systems to temporarily switch off and open an inner environment of recovery, processing and connection.

It touches our deepest need to be seen, heard and understood. So simple to create, and yet too easy to miss.

🐴We began with a self regulation practice, the horses echoed our internal states coming from hustle and bustle to calming and coming down into regulation and safety.

🐴 We explored the theory of attunement, the evolution of our nervous system, and why is it PIVITOL for mammals (you and your horse) to be attuned to.

🐴 We got real about how our human and horse world doesn't support this need, and how we can bridge that gap through creating a conscious attunement practice.

🐴 We brought theory to practice, with a demo from the beautiful Obi, who showed us the healing and grounding power of co regulation, and how quickly all of our nervous systems eb and flow together.

Here is a beautiful reflection of the afternoon from the wonderful Jo Pocklington! Thank you Jo.

"An amazing afternoon of attunement where we explored how conversations ,creating safety in co-regulation with our horses and our nervous systems with this wonderful group of people and a truly amazing horse🐴 💖

Cat has has an incredible feel for building a relationship with horses and humans and a teaching style with workshops that explains the foundations, the theory and ultimately how to co-regulate nervous systems.

She even demonstrates how a persons internal state and their ability to remain grounded in the present moment will have more effect on the horse than any technique.

We saw how she created attunement with energy and intention during a demonstration in the arena and it was phenomenal to how her horse felt safe enough ( even with all our collective energy around him ) to release and process showing us all of the calming signals while feeling seen, heard and understood 🙏🏻
We saw how creating harmony with our horses with an emphasis on how the horse's emotional bank account influences every interaction.

Can’t wait for the next workshop with Cat 👏"

And a super duper massive thank you to Elizabeth M. Photography for the most beautiful photos which capture the feelings underneath the moment, and the energy of the room!

Angela Taylor for sharing your magical herd and home with us

27/08/2024

27/08/2024

Over the last year, We have walked…. And walked… and adventured…. And grew…. And said no… and shrunk thresholds…. To grow them again.

We have stripped it back time and time again, to then have an even bigger full body yes.

And yesterday I had a full body yes to getting on and mooching outside for the first time

As soon as we hit the path we walk most days, she just said “yeah, I get this! Let’s go mum!”

We have no saddle, no bridle, just a trusty halter and a relationship ♥️

We have limited but integrated bits of language, voice cues and steady steering, but we both trust eachother and felt safe in our nervous systems.

We wandered behind our good friend Hero, and took out time.

And then, when she took a big breath, I got straight off, and carried on our adventure on foot.

So grateful for this journey, for this girl, for .equineconnectioncoach for giving us the courage to do things our way.

Stay weird!
Cat ###

24/08/2024

My Horse Is My Mirror: Personal transformation day!

As part of My Horse is My Mirror Mastery, 4 times a year (for every season) a group of ladies from the programme come together for a day in Brighton, focused on self development, reconnecting and redefining how they would like to go forwards.

This is about doing the work away from their horses, coming together in co regulation and having a safe space to share, grow and let go.

The theme of the day, was moving forwards towards your authentic self, and being in the driver seat.

✨ If who you are is just as much about your choices now, who do you decide to be today?

✨ How can you drive forwards, rather than getting lost in the bumps on the road?

✨ When is it important to look in the rear view mirror?

✨ What layers are in the way of feeling safe to be yourself?

✨ Can we hold our shape no matter what situation, company and state we are in?

✨What energy system are we tapping into? Sustainable or unsustainable?

We finished the day with a dip in the calm Brighton sea, and with a delicious meal on the sea front.

What do you choose today to be your authentic self?✨

22/08/2024

Relationship Afternoons ✨♥️

A few weekends ago, myself and two other beautiful women came together to develop what they had grown over the first Equestrian Relationship Weekend.

When they come together, magic flows and time melts away! We played with consent, creating care and holding space for deep releases.

Releasing for our horses is often a process of letting go of energy that has got stuck, threat responses that were incomplete, to re process and release the energy of the interaction, and re absorb the part of their nervous system stuck in that cycle.

So they come home to themselves a little bit more.

During a particularly deep release, we had a crow come and join us, and hold space with us and even answer my questions 🤣

This is why Relationship sessions aren’t structured, they are a one of a kind space where we release our agenda, and say to our horses “what do you need today?”

Thank you to the magic horse and women who made this day so special. And Catesby Equestrian for the safe space ✨

How do you want to allow your horse to guide you today?

Cat xx

21/08/2024

As a relationships coach, I have seen lots of humans and horses revolutionise their relationships together through small, easy shifts that prove to be extremely powerful. Often we get consumed with wanting to go ‘all in’, and change everything in order to improve the relationship with our horses. But in reality, if you liken it to changing your relationship with a friend, family member or partner - the big gestures are great, but it’s in the small everyday interactions that the real changes are made. Those are the ones that are sustainable and meaningful. Even just in the way you greet them in the morning, or becoming aware of what you bring to the barn.

Taking a moment to breathe when you are about to react, or spending time with them without asking any questions. These are the changes that really change the game. Many of my clients have found their horses look to them more, and start feeling more safe and connected. They can say “what?! But I don’t feel like I have changed much.” That's because it is in the softness that allows you & your horse to see each other.

If you feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, that’s okay. Just like saying “thank you, I appreciate you” to someone in your life can light them up more than a candle lit dinner, so can the small moments of connection with your horse. And remember, relationships are a constant practice, that are forever growing and evolving with you. Be open to getting it wrong, because you will learn from it, you won't know everything about yourself, let alone your horse, and that’s what makes it exciting!

That gives you space to grow into. Trust the small moments, and the big ones will follow.

19/08/2024

MOVE, CREATE, CONNECT, RESET!

On Saturday a beautiful group of ladies came together in the gentle summer sun to press pause, and tap into their inner child.

We started by having a chat, where they shared about what they wanted from the day and what was important to them

We then ventured into the field and had a beautiful mindful movement session with Ruth Mackman Celebrant and Kind Heart Yoga with Ruth, where we moved with the gentle flow, laughed in happy baby, and found our inner warriors. We ended with lying on the warm grass listening to the sounds of earth and soaking it all in.

Then they got into flow and created a vision board, cutting, sticking, arranging, pictures and elements that spoke to them. Not over thinking, or being perfect, just creating something that lit up their heart and flowed from creativity.

Finally everyone shared about what their vision board meant to them, and we sat for a moment taking it all in, and this new step ahead that it represented.

Massive thank you to these ladies for a magic afternoon, for Ruth for always bringing your peaceful and powerful gift, and Catesby for the special space!

If you would like to come to an afternoon like this, let me know 🥰

Cat x

18/08/2024

DID SOMEONE SAY TITANIC ⛴️ 🧊

Because we’ve been looking a hella lot at icebergs!

This month it was in the context of language 🗣️

Communication and language can be conscious AND unconcious!

Everything about us is a balance between the two!

✨ This means it’s is our job to develop our relationship with ourselves, to bring more of the ice berg over the sea line, and become aware of what is influencing our conversations, interactions and relationship with our horses.

💥 Here’s the kicker… The more you can become aware of what goes on underneath, the more awareness and choice you have about what you would like to do with it, and how you are going to mediate that for your horse.

This creates a deeper sense of safety for those around you, and for our horses this creates a space where they know there isn't a shark under the water ready for them!

This is a snippet from this months My Horse is My Mirror Mastery, if you would like to see more of this workshop, I have released a short (20 min) taster of this workshop on youtube!

Drop me a message if you would like the link!

Stay wild and whacky,
Cat xx

17/08/2024

LANGUAGE IN RELATIONSHIP

This month on My Horse is My Mirror Mastery, we are exploring language. As social mammals, language is a wonderful gateway to connect, communicate, hear & understand and strengthen social bonds.

But paradoxically, in the human world language isn't always used to connect. In fact, language can be used as a barrier, a weapon and to disconnect.

It can be the seat of in-congruency, between what we are saying versus what we are feeling, doing and believing.

This is why we began by exploring our own relationship with language!

What does language mean to you?
How does it make your body feel?
What is your experience with language?
Has language been used in a way that feels safe and responsible?
Has it been used to connect, explain and support, or criticise, be complicated and isolate?

And then how our horses feel about language. Has it been there to support and explain? What comes up in their body?

So if we want to support them to re define their relationship with language to one that is about communication, guidance, trust and safety, we must first shift ours in order to hold space for theirs.♥

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This is a session of release work within language from this morning's filming session, thanks to my wonderful boyfriend for sitting in the rain for an hour with the camera!

14/08/2024

Do you fancy a mid summer reset?

Here are two events in the next week that could be a fit for you ❤️

Where you can show up as totally you

✨ To nurture your creativity, connection with yourself and need for likeminded community.

💥 Tap back into what feels aligned for you and your horse

❤️ For a sense of aliveness, peacefulness and inspiration

If either feel like something you would enjoy, get in touch, and I will send you more details ✨

10/08/2024

Coming home to YOU ✨

One spot, two photos, ten years apart.

A world of difference. A coming home to my body mind and soul 🏡

A big part of Equestrian Relationship Coaching is suppprting you, away from your horse. To provide you the time, space and support to grow awareness in yourself, to decide what is yours and what isn’t, and what kind of life you would like to lead.

Because perhaps when you are with your horse you feel found…

But when you walk away you feel less so.

Your horse helps to bring you back to your connection, joy, playfulness, stillness.

And when you go home you feel less so.

The words “it all comes back to your relationship with yourself” feel oh so familiar, but where do you start!

Lets normalise taking time to come home to ourselves

✨ and holding space to nourish your component so that you meet your horse already from a topped up cup. To fill theirs 🛁

This is why I have added Personal Coaching onto the Equestrian Relationships coaching.

Because sometimes the conversations that shift the most with your horse, aren’t even about them ❤️