17/06/2024
Dear friends of Paulie and the gang,
It has taken me this long to write a comprehensive eulogy, because every single time I started, I felt that horrible sinking feeling, disbelief paired with grief, we all feel when we realise our beloved pets, no, our beloved non-human family members, will never be with us again. It's not easy to write this, nor will it ever be, but Paulie deserves way more than just a simple announcement. He was so much, to us all..
2 minutes. That's how long it took to decide to adopt Baby Budgie Paulie, way back when. They felt like hours.
40 minutes. That's how long it took for him to leave us forever. They felt like seconds. Like stabbing, miserable, grueling, treacherous seconds. Monsters with invisible claws, stealing him right from our hands, leaving us powerless to move or breathe.
It started off a normal day, we came downstairs to find the boys a little quiet, but fine. The night before we were out till later, previously our Baby Bug was flying happily, perched and playing with his human dad, munching on an apricot. Pecking at his fingernail, telling him all the stories he knew, the best way he knew how.
A bespoke family member.
That dreadful morning, I noticed Paulie was looking a little down. So I went to the cage, to pick him up for cuddles. Which is when the horror struck. He wasn't actually able to perch anymore. We moved in shock, we knew this wasn't going to end well at all, but we hoped our love and body heat and sweet words would bring him back to us.
We tried to give him all his favourite foods, he would ravenously devour cucumber at all hours, this time he couldn't even look at it. We knew he was fading, we just didn't know how fast it would all happen.
It was a dreadful Sunday, our avian vet closed for the weekend, and no other vet within a short driving distance would have sufficed. We had tried them all, before, when our other boys were in distress, but they were never prepared to offer more than vitamins and warmth. We had all that, but it wasn't enough. Nor was the sheer amount of desperation, trying to bestow all the love we had, so it would magically save him.
He passed away in his human dad's hands, on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. With his final strength, he held onto dear life, just so we could say goodbye. Selfless and kind, till the very end.
Paulie saved me from illness. When we adopted him, I was a heavy smoker. I think I was on a pack a day, sometimes more, smoking indoors in our very tiny flat. But I looked at those incredible and innocent eyes, and knew I could never put him in danger, so I quit that day.
He was there when I found out mom got sick. He was there when she needed a chatting companion, during her long years of treatment. He was there for me when she passed, and when I needed my best friend. He was there when we moved into our new house. He was there when we got married, then when we learned were expecting a little baby brother, for him to love. He was there for our baby, and he loved him with all his big budgie heart. He was there when we needed him, he was there when he needed us.
Grief strikes this second in full force, again, when I write the words "he is no longer there".
In a bed of bright, tiny blue flowers now lies our little Baby Budgie Paulie. Alongside Elwood, Cooper and Parker. And his remaining budgie brothers, Casper, Nicky and Coopie still miss him, so very much.
But even now, Paulie has made sure we would never be without him, for as long as possible. The other day Coopie said "budgie" and "bug", the way Paulie did. My heart warmed, and then it stopped, as for a second my mind was confused into thinking Paulie was still with us, still chatting away.
There will never be another little one like you, Bug, but the lessons you taught us, and the love you had, will never be forgotten. I am so grateful our son got to meet you, and love you as much as you did, him.
Goodbye, our amazing, one of a kind, Baby Budgie Paulie. You have always been, and always will be, loved.
