Cozy Cup Kennel

08/11/2023

...And so the drama continues!

Hello all,

I'm sorry I haven't been able to post much good news of late. From the very beginning I've made it a point to be as open and candid with you in these posts.

The entire point has always been to chronicle my journey as a breeder - I've always shared everything: the good, the bad....and yes, even the ugly....because I believe that people should know just how much sacrifice and hardship goes into producing quality pups.

I do my best to be fair, reasonable, and honest - but I'm a human being. Despite my best efforts, I inevitably make mistakes....and boy howdy, I've made a lot of them this past year.

Getting over mistakes is simple enough : you just learn what you did wrong and then make sure you don't do it again....but that doesn't mean it's easy: in fact, it's often some of the most difficult stuff I've ever had to do.

Simple but difficult....the paradox of breeding.

Some mistakes I made were so maddeningly stupid that I thought I'd choke on my rage. At times the rage was so overwhelming that there were nights I wished I wouldn't wake up the next morning if it meant it would end, but I'd gladly take a million such rages over the dull ache of this newest low that I've come to know: the mistake of trusting a friend.

Let me be clear: I'm not blaming anybody but myself.

It was moronic of me to grant anybody (friend of otherwise) power over my income/livelihood.

I wish I had a good defence, but I don't. After some brutal soul searching, all I've got is a sad and pathetic truth: I put myself in these positions because I wanted someone to prove they cared about me enough to choose me....even when it was hard.

I think I've been seeking that validation because I feel I never got it from my parents....so I keep recreating similar positions hoping that this time, things will be different...but of course, they never are.

The crazy thing is that looking back on it, I always had doubts that I ignored along the way. I wanted to believe someone cared about me so badly that I became blind to what was right in front of me - and you know what? The more I thinkt about it, the more I realized that this is something of a recurring pattern for me.

Maybe I'm going crazy but I'm genuinely laughing now - laughing at myself for failing to learn the same lesson i've been failing since childhood.

If there's a god or some other higher power, please take this as my formal surrender: I'm done failing.

It may be too late, but I think I finally learned my lesson.

1. Never again will I sacrifice or put aside my needs for some one else.

2. Never again will I allow myself to be vulnerable to the caprices of others.

3. I will not miss the people who abandon me.

4. I will not mourn the loss of people who claim to care even as they destroy.

You (the Universe) tried to teach me these lessons with lower stakes ....I hate that the price of these lessosn had to be this high but I guess it's my own damned fault for not learning these lessons then.

Good bye, naive values of my childhood....hello, harsh and brutal realty. My name is Karen, sole-proprietor of the Cozy Cup Kennel: here I am, finally growing the f*ck up -

17/10/2023

Last August a friend and I went to the Polish/Ukrainian border so I could add these two dogs to my breeding program: on the left is Artie, my new stud.

On the right is Stella. She was to be my new prize female. It was a super meaningful purchase to me because their breeder is Ukrainian and I saw this as my way of showing that I stood with Ukraine.

I waited eagerly for more than half a year for Stella.

I invested about one third of my net worth into these two dogs. My dogs are everything to me, and when I say something: I mean it.

I knew buying Stella wasn’t ideal for my finances at the time: I knew it would require a lot of sacrifice to pull it off but but when I saw Stella I knew she was worth it.

When my friend met asked to buy her, I explained I couldn’t sell her as a pet but since she had been such a good friend I was willing to let her be co-owner of Stella with me.

Ever since, life has been really hard. I’ve had to go without on most things - I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve lost 40 lb. I’ve gone hungry for more than 6 months and was able to keep my spirits up because I thought I could trust my friend to keep her word and that my sacrifices would pay off…but if what my friend last said still stands, I was wrong.

I’ve lead a full life and dealt with a lot of different types of people. The funny thing about the rich is that they often fear that people are only nice to them so they can be used for their money.

If something isn’t for sale and you take it anyway, it doesn’t matter how much money you leave behind: you’re stealing.

I have yet to meet the rich person who understands this: that some people/things genuinely can’t be bought.


🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


                                               

16/10/2023

This is Claire. She is Blue/Chip’s full sister, along with Pudding. I kept both of them back to be part of my breeding program because they are exactly the sort of dog I wanted to produce - healthy, beautiful, wonderful, ethically bred and raised.

I don’t think of myself as an angry person: no more angry than Fantine from Les Miserables… as I grow older, I find myself relating to her: which should be evident in the following.

I dreamed that I could bring dogs like Claire into the world and that enough people would love them that I could make enough to pay the bills while doing so.

I was young and unafraid: I thought that along the way I would meet some people who would eventually become friends and with whom I could share my passion… who might even help me accomplish my goals.

I met people who said they wanted to help but instead they to tore my hopes apart: they turned my dreams to shame.

I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I’m living,

So different from how it seems life has killed the dream I dreamed.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


                                               

08/10/2023

Am I the as***le??

A ‘friend’ co-owns one of my breeding females. FYI: she’s a trust fund baby.

My friend always said she would take on all the costs of raising the dog’s litters and that she’d give me the proceeds from the sale of ALL of the pups.

I wanted to use a 4lb male as stud with our female. The breeder gave me the option of paying her a stud fee but preferred she get pick of the litter.

I told my friend I wanted to pay the stud fee. I asked my friend if she could pay it and then recuperate that money when she sold the pups.

She said okay, but then went behind my back and promised the other breeder pick of the litter. I couldn’t afford the difference in income so she said she’d pay me the difference.

Then my friend went behind my back again and used a 6.5 male instead. She took our dog for X rays and the vet told her she would likely need a c section since the pups were too big for her pelvis. Despite this, she didn’t plan one.

Our dog ended up needing an emergency c-section: they cost significantly more and they usually result in more death because it’s not considered a life threatening procedure. Two pups died, one of which was definitely because she took too long to get the dog into surgery. Since my friend had promised the other breeder pick of the litter, there was only one pup left. My ‘friend’ has decided she’s entitled to keep the last pup as payment for the c-section.

I disagree. I believe the c-section was a direct result of her choice to ignore my wishes and as such she should be responsible for it (meaning she isn’t entitled to the remaining pup as compensation).

I believe she should compensate me for the pick of the litter as she promised ($4k).

If she wants to keep the last pup, that would bring the total up to $8k.

I think she should compensate me for the pup that obviously died to the need for the c-section, for a total of $12k.

She knows I’ve been too scared about my finances to buy groceries for months - she knows I’ve lost 40 lb since April. I’m not dying yet, but I can’t help but feel that a friend wouldn’t put me in this position.

Am I the as***le???

11/09/2023

Another past baby. Chloe (née Choux).

——

Sorry I’ve been MIA for the past little while, everyone.

If life is a journey then we each have our path. Mine had me passing through a desert for a long time…. so when I came across an oasis, I couldn’t resist taking a closer look. 🤪

Long story short, it ended up being a mirage (lol) but brief as it was, I don’t remember the last time I had that much fun.

It’s funny - I’ve known about mirages since I was a child, but I never thought to apply that concept to people until today.

It wasn’t planned, but I’m it was the break I didn’t know I needed.

The world is funny like that.


🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


                                               

05/09/2023

Rocky, a baby from my very first litter. ❤️

——

When I was young I collected Pokemon cards. Like anything I love, I poured my heart and soul into it and soon amassed a collection that would be worth north of half a million dollars today.

My mom had no way of knowing that when she destroyed it. I’m sure she thought I was ‘just being dramatic’ when I insisted the punishment wasn’t fair.

It never occurred to her that I was just telling the truth: that if she destroyed my collection, I’d never feel anything for any thing ever again.

I know this is true because of what happened several years later: the first time my mom could afford to spoil me on Christmas.

I found her stash of gifts early and immediately started covertly giving them away to friends and family.

Months later my mom asked me why I hadn’t opened any of my gifts.

Despite the results, my mom always meant well. Her sole purpose in life was to provide for me - but since we never got along well, she relied on material goods to communicate her love and support.

How could I tell her that her goal in life was doomed to fail?

There was no way to tell her without telling her why… and if I told her why, it would’ve destroyed her.

I don’t know how many times I let my mom accuse me of being selfish, inconsiderate, entitled, or ungrateful but no matter how bad it got I never told her the truth about the gifts and my card collection.

Sometimes parents don’t give their children enough credit.


🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


                                               

03/09/2023

Another past baby ❤️. Out of all of her babies so far, reminds me the most of his mother Darla... not only does he look so much like her (those eyes!) But his personality too....I know he's got his own little soul but there is never going to be a day when that soul didn't come from Darla.

The joy I felt from my babies growing up so beautifully, knowing they were being loved just the way they needed...it was like sitting down and leaning back into paradise.

----

Recently, 'Dora' told me that even though her actions are killing me (figuratively, folks), I should get over it.

I don't often hear that word, 'kill'. In fact, this was the second time I've ever heard it in reference to me. The first time happened a long time ago, when my mom explained why she had to kill me.

My mom's not crazy: she's intelligent, educated, and sophisticated...she just happened to grow up in a culture with values that oppose ours.

Given the values she was taught, killing me made a lot of sense. Explaining the reasoning behind her conclusion stopped me from seeing her as a monster: I could see her as just another mom trying to do her moral duty to the world.

Obviously literal murder is far more serious than figurative murder, but the more I thought about it the more similarities I saw in how the two think.

Dora's convinced that she's just doing the right thing.. like my mom was.

Dora knows that her doing what she thinks is right will likely result in losing me (in some way).

The only significant difference that I've seen so far is that my mom didn't demand I be okay with the emotional equivalent of a non-fatal stab wound.

Dora, I know you're reading: It wasn't fair of me to expect from you what I got from my mom, so whatever: it's fine.

I'm not sharing this to be dramatic: breeding was always something I did for and from my soul...and now that my soul is changing, I don't know where or how breeding will fit once this settles down.

Welcome to the next leg of the journey, folks.

28/08/2023

Hello, little Angel Mouse!

I still remember the day Mila was born and how sweet she was from the first breath she took.

With Sylvie’s unexpected departure to her new home I can officially resume breeding. … perhaps bring more little angels like this one into the world.

…I never expected to feel such bittersweetness at this prospect: I never expected any part of this month, period.

As time goes on I realize how naive I’ve been. Perhaps the things that have happened weren’t what have been upsetting me so much… maybe it’s the loss of innocence that has impacted me so profoundly.

——

I try to be as candid as I can be in my posts… and that means sharing the bad and the ugly along with the good.

I always expected strangers to believe that my priority as a breeder was money… it sucks, but I always assumed that I could prove them wrong.

… I never expected that even my closest friends might feel the same way.

It’s profoundly depressing to realize that no matter what I do, I may never convince a single person that my intentions are pure…. To realize that even the people who I entrust with the lives of one of babies may think this way of me.

To strive for a dream that you’re scared is impossible to achieve… sometimes, this is what it is to be a breeder, folks.

.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


                                               

24/08/2023

Wow!

What a great example of how to be a good person.

Just got this message from another stranger making the world a better place just by being in it.

Just think how much better the world would be if everybody were like this person.

Be like this person

This person wanted to remain anonymous but they know who they are. 😊

——

It’s been a tough couple of weeks.

I’m tired. Last night was the first night since the 8th that I’ve been able to sleep more than 3 hours.

I’ve lost 10 lb and it’s uncomfortable: since my bones are more exposed, certain positions hurt now.

Did you know that the body processes emotional pain the EXACT same way as physical pain?

It’s funny how the exact same people who had no problem demanding accountability from me won’t hold themselves or their ‘friend’ to the same standard.

.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


                                               

23/08/2023

Re: Chip

Just got off the phone with an officer from the Ottawa Police following up on the report I filed.

They called to go over the evidence I supplied at the time of filing and to hear of any updates that may have come to light in the days since.

I was confused when the officer asked me to provide the phone number or email address of a certain individual - why didn't they already have this information?

Turns out my report is the only one that even mentions Chip.

Anyone interested in assisting the police should DM me the requested information directly: they are waiting on this information to proceed with the case.

P.S:

Since there seems to be some confusion on this point, during our call I took the liberty of asking the officer if any other files mention me.

Turns out there's only one: My name is mentioned in the report I filed a few years ago against a local Jane Doe for stealing my dog.

I was informed I needed to file a lawsuit against her so that's what I did. As a result, my baby was back in my arms by the end of the week.

One of my babies was stolen so I pursued the thief to the fullest extent of the law to get my baby back.

If people want to use this as proof that I have a history of losing dogs or being a horrible kennel, so be it.

P.P.S: This is part of the reason why I feel justified in charging more for my babies. Lawyer's ain't cheap, y'all.

23/08/2023

No matter what, getting updates on how one of my babies is doing always makes me feel a little better.

Little Mila’s family made her a toy box.

Silly girl thinks she’s a toy too. 😛

.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


                                               

20/08/2023

RE: Chip, AKA: Why lie?

Hello. My name is Karen Kim. You may have heard about me recently.

Last week I was accused of stealing Chip. I was surprised by the blind hate that ensued- naively, I thought that if people realized they had been lied to I could look for Chip without compromising the safety of my dogs or myself.

Despite what you may have heard, Christina and I have been in constant communication. People have recently started trying to justify the libel by saying it's only intended to hold me accountable for my actions.. Ha!

Y'all didn't know it but by that point I had already gotten it in writing that Christina is satisfied of my innocence and that I've made things right with her.

For the people who are going to call bs: I gotchu boo. Look back on my comments - I told y'all I was on it even if I wasn't talking about it:

Actions, NOT words.

If it were true that any of this was about holding me accountable then everything would've ended a week ago...but as we all know, it didn't.

Why?

Actions, NOT words.

Real talk: if things had stuck to the truth I wouldn't have said anything. If I felt that the anger or hatred towards me were based in facts I would have just taken it because frankly...I'd deserve it: Accountability.

But that's not what happened: libel was spread and well-meaning people were deceived.

What sort of person knowingly deceives their friends into repeating lies that were verifiably false, possibly opening them to litigation?
..Who does that?

I don't want to speak for anybody else, but I know that I'd be pretty pi**ed if I found out my "friend" had knowingly fed me lies that lead me to damage the hard work and reputation of a struggling small business woman who's just trying to bring some love into the world.

What struck me more than anything were the little lies: the lies that, when compared to some seriousness of some other allegations made against me, I don't see any good reason to tell.

What sort of person lies more than the have to?

Here are some basic facts that anyone looking for Chip should know:

A. Chip belongs to Christina Dornan (nobody else).

B. I have been in constant communication with Christina.

C. I was never paid to care for Chip.

I don't see anybody else asking the obvious question so I'll ask it now:

Why lie at all?

Edit: Post was editted to better reflect the intentions behind it. Sincerest apologies to any individuals who were named - it was an honest mistake.

28/07/2023

Sylvie’s face perfectly portrays how I feel to finally be able to say the following:

And then there were none! 🥳🥳

Sylvie has found her new forever home with .c.c.u.l.l.o.u.g.h . Thank you so much for taking on this silly, little wiggly-bum girl!

There’s been so much that I’ve wanted to share with everyone but have been holding back due to the uncertainty of the future of my program - but with the last pup now homed, I can officially lift the halt that I placed on breeding and share with you all of the cool/amazing stuff that I had planned for the next phase of my program.

Stay tuned!
.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   
                                               

19/07/2023

To every single person who told me they would have taken Tippy if he had been a girl due to concerns about him marking…because yeah, I’m hella petty like that.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   
                                               

19/07/2023

Tippy is on his way to his new home, so I can now introduce everyone to Sylvie.

This little girl was born in December and is looking for her new home. I estimate her final adult weight to be 5 lb. A blue sable like Tippy but with Irish markings, this little girl is a loveable goof and is bound to bring endless sunshine to the right home but she is not suitable for any homes with children.

She went to the vet and got a clear bill of health. She as an overbite but it doesn’t impact her in anyway - other than making her little tongue stick out. :P

She's just coming out of what was a pretty intense case of the puppy uglies so her coat is still a bit sparse at the moment, but her siblings are and .laszlo on Instagram, if you want an idea for the sort of fluff to expect from Sylvie once she's a little older.

10/07/2023

Tippy’s got puppy eyes for days.

Little guy is still looking for his new home.

He would do best in an experienced Chihuahua home with another dog company.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   

                                               

04/06/2023

Tippy is the last adult dog I have available. He’s a blue sable.

He has a soft and gentle temperament, and is something of a late bloomer - he’s developed a lot more confidence in the last month.

Due to his flawlessness he was kept back for observation. I ended up choosing to rehome him due to wanting a more confident and assertive temperament for the show ring.

As previously stated, I have halted all breeding until he is placed in his forever home. His father is Pepe and his mother is Pekoe.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   

                                               

04/06/2023

Photo dump! Pepe update from his new and wonderful home with . Pepe is the father to Tippy.
🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   

                                               

04/06/2023

I’m happy (and a little sad) to announce (belatedly) that Blue left for his new home last week. He is in a wonderful new home with his new family and I’m happy to watch regular updates of his new life as Chip.

Tippy is still looking for his new forever home. ❤️

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   

                                               

24/05/2023

Left to right: Pudding, Tippy, Mila.

Oh Tippy… such a silly little boy. ❤️

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   

                                               

14/05/2023

Little Blue, 2 weeks.

🥰Cozy

🍵 Cup

🐶 Kennel


   

                                               

12/05/2023

10/05/2023

Blue, 1 wk. He was so small that I tried to supplement his feeding, but every time he’d turn his face as if to give me a dirty look. He couldn’t even open his eyes yet!

2nd photo: One night he started screaming for no apparent reason. I ran to scoop him up and he stopped. He settled into my hand and I smiled - I understood.

I lay him over my thigh. He found his “spot” and promptly passed out for the rest of the night.

The little bu**er.