Clean As A Whistle

19/07/2023

Interesting!

Two new bodies have been created to offer training and set standards in the area of equine ge***al hygiene. British Equine Hygienists Association (BEHA) is a group of “independent sheath cleaners and mare hygienists, who have come together to launch the equine industry’s first-ever association o...

12/02/2023

I dunno about you guys, but sometimes I lie in bed, thinking about wi***es... Specifically, thinking it's been a while since I cleaned one of those bad boys.
So it's time to re-enter the magical world of bean removal!
I will be offering sheath cleaning on a very part-time basis, in the Swan Valley area (Midland to Bullsbrook). $50/clean, or $40 each for multiple horses.
I work full time, so am only available weekends and evenings.
In the interests of staying alive, if your horse is too difficult or dangerous to clean, I reserve the right to not complete the job.
Hit me up if your gelding needs some attention!

24/04/2018

Peckers! Getcha clean pe**ers, folks!
Clean As a Whistle is available NOR this Friday and Saturday for sheath cleans.
$40 for one horse or $35 each for more.

20/04/2018

12/04/2018

Big, small, I'll clean them all!*
*terms and conditions apply. Equine wi***es only.

Sheath cleaning available over the school holidays. Can come SOR if I get 4 or more horses.

Cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more than one. Happy to teach you... if you dare...

01/04/2018

I will be in Mount Helena tomorrow (Monday) afternoon- room for more bookings!

27/03/2018

Is your horse's pe**er in a pickle?
Clean As A Whistle will be available for bookings NOR over the Easter weekend.
Sheath cleans are $40/horse, or $35 each for more than one horse on the property.
Happy to teach you how to do it yourself... if you're game 😉

16/03/2018

Clean As A Whistle is back!!!...kinda 😉
I'm living in Bullsbrook now, working full time but will be doing w***y runs NOR every fortnight or so on weekends.
If you want to book, please shoot me a message and I'll let you know when I'm in the area.

Yes, that's a zucchini. I'm not putting pics of wi***es on Facebook.

27/09/2015

Greetings w***y fans! Here's a gratuitous photo of an echidna!
Sorry for the long silence, this year I'm teaching in the Wheatbelt, and I have zero free time, and even less phone signal...
However, with the glories of school holidays upon us, I have a little availability for sheath cleans - I am in the Perth area this Saturday.
Sheath cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more than one.
Pm or text 0408115654 to snaffle me!

09/06/2015

Put a smile on their dial this weekend, and book a w***y wash! Clean As A Whistle will be around Perth on Saturday for sheath cleans -$40 for one horse, or $35 each for more. PM or text 0408115654 to book.

06/04/2015

CAAW is available for sheath cleans around Northam, or between Northam and Perth, tomorrow afternoon, or Wednesday afternoon. $40 for one horse, $35 each for more. PM or text 0408 115654 to enquire or book.

01/04/2015

CAAW will have some availability for sheath cleans over the school holidays, in the metro area, central wheatbelt and around Northam. Can't set dates yet (waiting for moving company to get back to me!) but let me know if you're keen!

18/03/2015

04/03/2015

? - Police wish to speak to four youths seen near a suspicious fire in Mariginiup.

At about 2.15 pm on Wednesday the 7th of January 2015, a scrub fire was started close to the eastern verge of Pinelake Trail.

The fire burnt in a north easterly direction towards Coogee Road.

Residential properties in the immediate area were under threat, however fortunately the fire was extinguished.

More than four square hectares were burnt as a result of the fire.

A group of teenagers on mopeds/motorbikes were seen in the area immediately prior to the fire starting.

Police have released images of four males who they believe can assist them with their inquiries.

If you know the identity of these persons or have any information about this offence make a report online or call Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000, where all calls are strictly confidential, and rewards are offered. Please quote Reference Number 7568.

16/02/2015

I will be available for a few sheath cleans this Saturday, when I sneak down to Perth. I will be SOR in the morning, could do some NOR in the afternoon if required.
$40 for one horse, or $35 each for more than one.
Pm or text 0408 115654 to book.

14/02/2015

12/02/2015

Hi w***y fans, sorry for radio silence recently. I have moved to a wee town in the Wheatbelt for a "real" job, and will only be in Perth every few weeks. If your horse needs a clean, please send me a text or message, and a follow-up if I don't reply! My internet and I are still in negotiations...
I will be in Perth next weekend!

24/01/2015

Hanging out between washes at Yalambi today and tomorrow, watching the amazing George Morris give jumping lessons. Feeling very inspired to aim my mighty steed at some tiny poles!

21/01/2015

Clean As A Whistle will be sheath cleaning in the SW this Saturday, and available for a few bookings Sunday.
W***y washes are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more. Happy to teach you to do it yourself.
PM or text 0408 115654 to book or enquire.

18/01/2015

I have a magical ability (curse?) to bring the heat with me to Albany - sorry Albanians!
Still available for cleans in Albany tomorrow morning, and between Albany and Perth as I head back tomorrow.
Text 0408 115654 or pm to book.

13/01/2015

If his winky's getting stinky
And his sc***ng looks kinda wrong
He's got problems with his pizzle
Time to call Clean As A Whistle!

Clean As A Whistle is in ALBANY NOW, this weekend (can drop by KATANNING on Monday 19), and BUNBURY and surrounds next weekend. Can do metro area in between.
Sheath cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more. Happy to teach you how to do it.
Free udder cleans for any mares on-property feeling left out of the action.

PM or text 0408 115654 to book or enquire.

10/01/2015

Fascinating!

Shimmer has now been handled enough to be assessed... What your seeing is an a**s and a "Peeing" device.. Its like a p***s but its in the position of a va**na... On scan the horse had no female or male s*x organs.. So no testicles and no ovaries. We are now doing blood tests to check the hormone level but we still don't know whether Shimmer is a boy or a girl... This is an odd situation that's for sure.

08/01/2015

If his winky's getting stinky
And his sc***ng looks kinda wrong
He's got problems with his pizzle
Time to call Clean As A Whistle!

Clean As A Whistle will be SOR this Sunday - and pretty flexible for the next week.
Sheath cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more. Happy to teach you how to do it.
Free udder cleans for any mares on-property feeling left out of the action.

PM or text 0408 115654 to book or enquire.

05/01/2015

Clean As A Whistle is heading to a land down under - ALBANY!
Will drive down Friday January 16th, stay Saturday-Sunday for cleans in/around town, and drive up again on the 19th.
So if you're in Albany, or on the way, and your boy needs a w***y wash, get in quick!
Sheath cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more.
PM or text 0408 115654 to make a booking.

01/01/2015

If his winky's getting stinky
And his sc***ng looks kinda wrong
He's got problems with his pizzle
Time to call Clean As A Whistle!

Cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more than one.

PM or text 0408 115654 to book or enquire!

I will be in the Swan Valley Sunday, and pretty flexible the rest of the week.

01/01/2015

Wishing everyone a fantastic New Year, and fresh clean wi***es!

27/12/2014

Ah, those crazy thoroughbreds... I cleaned 5 on-the-track young racehorses yesterday, and they were some of the best-mannered horses I've ever met. Giving the breed a bad name, they were! :p

If your mad, bad and dangerous to know horse needs a w***y wash, pm or text me on 0408 115654 to book a time. Cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more.

25/12/2014

Clean As A Whistle wishes you a nommy Christmas!

22/12/2014

Really, is there anything more festive than a horse's clean w***y?
I'll be in the South West over Christmas, so can be grabbed Christmas Eve or Boxing Day for sheath cleans in the area, then will be back in Perth from Dec 27th.
Cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more than one.
PM or text 0408 115654 to enquire or book.

18/12/2014

If his winky's getting stinky
And his sc***ng looks kinda wrong
He's got problems with his pizzle
Time to call Clean As A Whistle!

Cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more than one.

PM or text 0408 115654 to book or enquire!

12/12/2014

Clean As A Whistle is sheath cleaning NOR Saturday, SOR Sunday. PM or text 0408 115654 to make a booking!

09/12/2014

Is your horse carrying this kind of gunk around in his sheath? Or is a bean taking over his w***y?
Clean As A Whistle is available for sheath cleaning! $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more. Happy to teach you how to do it yourself, and check your mares' b***s while I'm there.
PM or text 0408 115654 to book or enquire.

09/12/2014

I was enthusiastically talking shop with a friend who works in a stud, and my non-horsey father commented drily, "So, you both work in the horse s*x industry."
Considering most of my clients are geldings, I think I'm more in the horse no-s*x industry. ..

07/12/2014

17 horses down this weekend, 8 to go...
I still have time available for a few horses between Dunsborough and Yarloop tomorrow afternoon - shoot me a text on 0408 115654 if your boy needs a sheath clean!

06/12/2014

I bet normal people don't find as many surprise bottles of l**e when they clean their cars...

06/12/2014

A lot of people know about beans now, which is good for the poor horses who are finally getting them removed. But a lot of what I clean out of the sheath is crud like this - dead skin, body oil, dirt etc. 24 years worth! (Boot not included)

01/12/2014

If his winky's getting stinky
And his sc***ng looks kinda wrong
He's got problems with his pizzle
Time to call Clean As A Whistle!

My w***y week so far...

Bullsbrook Saturday
Cowaramup Sunday
Busselton, Dunsborough and Yarloop Monday

I have bookings available in the South West this Sunday and Monday, Bullsbrook and surrounds Saturday, and get in touch for next week!

Cleans are $40 for one horse, or $35 each for more than one.

PM or text 0408 115654 to book or enquire!