Guinea Pigs

Guinea Pigs Guinea pigs are very clever, very wise, and very powerful. So great is their wisdom that their hind legs must point outward just so it will all fit.

Unlike mice that are born blind and stupid, guinea pigs are born fully furred and able to see, with all the wisdom of their ancestors. This alone should scare you. Their ability to detect food and force humans to submit to their will is unmatched. Those who attempt to resist will probably lose their hearing. Those who do not resist will find themselves enslaved, but since guinea pigs are soft and

chubby and emit squeaks of approval when petted, it could be worse. Guinea pigs will sometimes discipline their humans slaves by biting or peeing on their clothes, but you'd have to be a pretty foolish human to let that happen. Amazing as it may seem, guinea pigs are not perfect. Due to a glitch, they can get stuck in an infinite loop while licking (or sniffing) something, forcing them to continue licking it forever. The only known solution is to remove whatever it is they are licking, and they will return to reality.

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